Secret Santa faux pas?
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive December 2004:
Secret Santa faux pas?
Well, today was the day we "revealed" ourselves as Secret Santas at work...I had drawn the name of the bank president, as you might recall. Everything was great all week, but then today, everyone was opening their final presents, and I quickly realized that the $20 total limit for the presents was a myth. Everyone (including me) was getting wonderful gifts that certainly cost more than $20, and here I am, sticking to the rules, and giving the president a nice (but cheap) present. He was gracious, as always, but I am secretly embarassed. Oh well, live and learn (I am the New Girl here at the office, btw and have much to learn!). *sigh*
I think that's just crummy, why say something like a limit if it's not the "true" limit. I'm glad your boss was a good sport about it. You had no way of knowing so don't beat yourself up over it. Now you know for next year! What did you get him?
If a limit is set then everyone needs to follow it within $5 or so and you were not out of line. Don't feel bad for following the posted rules! I'm betting that a lot of the people who gave the more expensive gifts only did it because they felt they would look bad if they didn't, not because they wanted to or could afford to.
I have learned in recent years that no one follows this rule!! When I hear of a limit, to me it now means a minimum. Even if you take a look at the secret santa thing from here, there is no way that some people stuck to the limit. Yes, I did take a peek!! LOL I didn't sign up for it because I am not online consistantly and didn't want to make someone feel omited!! It is very hard to find a nice gift these days for little money. I am not saying that it can't be done, but it is hard to not look cheap!! I wouldn't sweat it too much... as you say, live and learn!!
$20 is not cheap. It hurts everyone when no one follows the 'rules'. I'm sure there are others there who would much prefer the $20 rule be followed, as well as those who would prefer no secret santa at all! A lot of times these things can be fun, but they can also be stressful and feel very obligatory and I, personally, think they really don't belong in a work place. If a work place wants to leave a collection tin for charity or choose a needy family and let gifts pile up anonymously, that's great! It just gets tricky when things like your situation occur. I don't understand why the president of the bank would be involved in this anyway...shouldn't he be giving small gifts or bonuses to everyone? People shouldn't be giving HIM gifts, IMO. Anyway, Janet, I don't think you should be embarrassed. Besides, it's the thought that counts and I know how much thought you put into this!
Well, the first day I baked him a loaf of banana nut bread, second day was a Hallmark ornament I'd gotten on clearance last year, third day was a picture frame, fourth day was some taco snack mix I made, and today was a box of golf things: a voodoo golf kit, a rock/paperweight that is engraved with, "born to golf, forced to work," and a golf ornament (he loves golf), all in a really cool box. I probably spent just about $20 for everything, because the voodoo kit was actually expensive, though small. It was really hard, because I don't know him well, and he has just about everything! So I wrote a poem for each day, too..that was part of my gift, actually.
Janet, don't beat yourself up. The amount spent on the gift is not important. People lose sight of what gift-giving is all about. It's the THOUGHT that matters. It sounds like you truly put thought into it - I'll bet no one else wrote poems. You did just fine, so stop worrying about it. I've received *cheap* gifts in the past that some people have turned their noses up at, that *I* actually cherished due to the thought that went into the gifts. One year at Christmas Jules gave me a candle she made for me. She had used old candles, melted down, put some scent into it, and used real flowers around the outside. I've never burned it, it sits with my *special* things, it cost her nothing to make it, but it's special to me. Christmas gift-giving shouldn't have to be a contest - who spends the most/who gets the *best* gift. The meaning and spirit of it has gotten lost somewhere.
I followed the price limit, both for the gift exchange here, and for the gift exchange at work!
Ditto Karen. My dh got the CEO at his company and he is also the new kid on the block. He hasn't gotten the gift yet.
I follow limits when I'm in a gift exchange. It's the only way to keep things fair. I think you did the right thing. Look on the bright side. He knows now that you follow instructions well :o)
That is really to bad. I would not be embarrassed for following the rules.
|