GRRRRRR!!! I put out the first presents under the tree yesterday, and 9 yr old dd immediately went to count them, and found her older sister has more. When she whined to me, I just exploded! In the past, I used to be careful about "equal" presents, but good grief! Older dd is 14, and at 9, younger dd should be able to figure out that quantity and quality are not the same!
Aside from being a screaming banshee, how do I get my younger dd to understand and not be so selfish?

By Karen~moderator on Thursday, December 16, 2004 - 10:35 am:

You may not be able to get that point across to her right now. Wrap up some *little* things, like cute socks, or SOMEthing so she will have the same number of gifts. BTDT! LOL

By Pamt on Thursday, December 16, 2004 - 10:41 am:

That's why we went to 3 gifts each from Santa and one gift each from us. I was that greedy, present counting kid as a child, so I can tell you that there is hope for her.

By Breann on Thursday, December 16, 2004 - 10:49 am:

Sounds like our house. Yesterday DD 5 was almost in tears when I put some gifts out because "there isn't any room for Santa to put gifts". She was beside herself.

By Ginny~moderator on Thursday, December 16, 2004 - 11:06 am:

Janet, you might try telling your dd that each time she complains about it one gift will be taken away and she won't get it until you decide she should.

This is one of the reasons we always put the presents under the tree Christmas Eve, after everyone was in bed and (hopefully) asleep.

By Sunny on Thursday, December 16, 2004 - 11:58 am:

I also wait until the kids are in bed on Christmas Eve before putting the presents under the tree. They are more concerned about opening their gifts on Christmas morning than how many each of them got!
Can you store the gifts somewhere in the meantime? I'd probably take all the gifts out from under the tree and tell her that "Santa" doesn't like her attitude, then use it as a springboard for a conversation on the true meaning of Christmas (maybe print out the story Melissa posted?)

By Cat on Thursday, December 16, 2004 - 12:01 pm:

We don't have any presents under the tree yet, unless you count the ones Robin has wrapped for the cats and the dog! We're having enough trouble keeping the animals from knocking branches off while chasing each other under there, there's no way we're putting presents under yet! We may put them on shelves next to the tree, but I haven't even gotten any wrapped. Oh well. I have another week+.

By Dawnk777 on Thursday, December 16, 2004 - 12:15 pm:

My mom never put out presents until it was almost time to open them! In fact, she never even labeled presents until the last minute. She would write people's initials on the side or the bottom somewhere. We had no chance to count presents!

One year, we went snooping around for presents, found some, opened them carefully and put them back together. We never got caught and were never punished. It was its own punishment. It's hard to act surprised, when you knew ahead of time what it was. My sisters and I never did it again. I was about 12 or so, when I did that.

By Tink on Thursday, December 16, 2004 - 12:38 pm:

I was complaining to my mom that the things I wanted to get for my dd cost quite a bit more than my ds's presents. My mom said it was much more important to have the same number of gifts than to have equal amounts spent on the gifts because the quantity is more important than the cost when you are a kid. I'd agree that you could wrap up a cute pair of socks or a book to even things out but that would be rewarding her attitude. You could print out Melissa's story and wrap that up so she would think she had another gift and see if she "got" the lesson you intended or you could give her an ad from Target or wherever and tell her to pick three things for herself and three things for her sister and show her that they don't necessarily add up to the same amount. She is getting old enough to realize that but it needs to be taught to her. We also do a three gift limit to try and eliminate that idea. It doesn't always work but it's an attempt.

By Bellajoe on Thursday, December 16, 2004 - 04:02 pm:

The only gifts my mom put under the tree before Christmas was the ones for other people, like Grandma and grandpa, friends etc. We didn't see gifts for us till Christmas. There were five of us and i don't think any of us counted who got how many gifts....but then i was the youngest and usually got the most! hee hee.

By Annie2 on Thursday, December 16, 2004 - 08:00 pm:

We spend the same on everyone. This year, our oldest dd, 13, asked for something with a higher price tag. She'll be getting fewer presents than her younger siblings; which are all getting the same amount. Hopefully she understands. At 13 1/2, I would hope so.
If not I will swiftly reclaim the higher priced item and inform her I will exchange it for 3 other gifts.
At 9, in our house, they still want quantity over quality.

By Kaye on Friday, December 17, 2004 - 09:09 am:

I agree my 9 year old would be upset too. We try to balance it both ways. That may mean that I wrap up dollar store items, or my favorite is my little guy is getting some power rangers, well all four only cost 12 bucks, so I will wrap them as one gift.

By Tunnia on Friday, December 17, 2004 - 09:49 am:

Add me to the list that waits to put them out after the kids go to bed on Christmas Eve. Christmas morning they are much too excited about opening their gifts to worry about counting.

By Conni on Friday, December 17, 2004 - 09:57 am:

We have gifts under the tree but this yr I wrote names very small on the back of each gift. The other day Brad asked why I didnt put names on the gifts this yr. LOL! I flat out told him that I didnt want them messing with the gifts and I was tired of how they act about them... He said 'Oh, OK.' LOL! He knew what I was talking about. Brandon asked me about 2 weeks ago if I was had found a new hiding place for gifts this yr. He was right I do have a new system (since my kids are little snoopy's) in place this yr... I dont have any gifts hidden here in the house and thats all I will say. ;) It has been so nice this yr. I will do this from now on.

By Conni on Friday, December 17, 2004 - 10:09 am:

oops! forgot to add that I do try really hard to give the same number of gifts while they are still young. Even if the gifts wrapped are something little just to make it appear fair. LOL

3 gifts from santa, same number of stocking stuffers, same number of gifts from Mom/Dad. The problem I run into is that my oldest likes to mess with his gifts until he guesses what they are. So thats why I changed what I mentioned in the previous post. He also likes to snoop around the house until he finds the santa gifts (even tho the older ones know there is no Santa I *still* do Santa gifts for them). So I am learning to outsmart them on my hiding places. lol