All I have to say is "If everyone's on their medication, family can be good." LOL!

My poor hubby...I have a huge Italian family and they all talk at the same time, really loud, and if you don't learn how to cut someone off well then you're considered "lost at sea" in a conversation that is usually one-sided. Poor DH was cornered by my grandfather at a recent holiday get together. He was explaining the intricacies of his inventions...for an hour...he just nodded his head the whole time. It's like you're in a never-ending infomercial and you can't turn the channel.
So, *cheers*! Here's to hearing the same stories over again, regressing to how you felt when you were 13, and trying to convince your family that living over 15 minutes away is not such a bad thing...it makes the heart grow fonder!

By Amy~moderator on Sunday, December 12, 2004 - 05:10 am:

ROFL, I know *exactly* what you mean. I have family on one side that sounds very similar.

By Karen~moderator on Sunday, December 12, 2004 - 09:33 am:

A view from the opposite side, if I may......

When I was growing up, my mom's family had huge get-togethers for all the holidays. Of course, as I learned later on, they were all raging alcoholics, which explained the practically inevitable brawl after 6 or 8 hours of cozy togetherness, and a house full of opinionated, half-buzzed adults and excited, hyper kids of varying ages getting into stuff that was forbidden.

BUT - looking back, I enjoyed seeing all those distant relatives and extended family several times a year and I really miss it.

For 21 years *I* have been doing the family Christmas dinner. Unfortunately, many of the family members have passed on or moved away. It's nothing like it used to be. It sort of depresses me, because I am rapidly becoming the *elder* generation in my family. The few left in the generation preceding me are now getting to be too old or too unhealthy to travel and those of *my* generation are the ones left to care for them. So our family gatherings have dwindled to *small intimate gatherings*, for lack of a better description. However, don't be fooled, it's just the few of us who are willing to continue the tradition, gathered at my house doing casual dinners buffet style, and just enjoying being together.

Did I dread the the family get-togethers of *yesterday*? Yes!!! And do I miss them?
Without a doubt, YES!!!!!

My entire point being - life is short, and you usually don't realize how short until you are past 40 and middle age has suddenly slapped you in the face really hard.

I say unless your obligatory gathering is guaranteed to produce emotional or physical pain, suck it up and be a part of it. It's a memory you will have in 10 or 20 or 30 years when those gatherings no longer exist.

JMO - and we all know what they say about opinions...ROFL!

By Mrsheidi on Sunday, December 12, 2004 - 11:11 am:

I agree Karen...4 years after living so far away from family, I miss them. No doubt about it. We used to visit grandparents almost every weekend, play with cousins (er, get into trouble, to be more accurate), and just enjoy the traditions when we didn't know they were traditions.

Being with my husband though, has taught me how to take turns when talking and really listen to what people have to say. My brother visited yesterday (that's why I was inspired to write this in the first place). And, it was an epiphany all of the sudden...he really doesn't "listen"...and I realized that it was how we were raised. We can't change anyone, nor would I want to...I really do enjoy visiting family. But, now that I'm older, I realize how people can change and how some don't. And, you know, I love them the way they are!!
I guess I'm just patient now more than anything... and view them with some light humor...it's what gets me by!

By Tink on Sunday, December 12, 2004 - 11:25 am:

My family gatherings will either inspire me to laugh or cry, so like Mrsheidi, I try to find the humor in it. All of my great-grandparents and grandparents died within 3 years of each other and so we went from large 25-40 people gatherings to about a dozen of us. I do miss the commotion of the large gatherings. They are one of my favorite memories of childhood. BUT, now I realize that even as a child, I picked up on the stress of the events. I usually ended up in tears at some point and see know that I suffered from IBS even then. My dh and I are trying to keep all of our siblings together so that we can create similar memories for our kids, hopefully less stress-filled, though.

By Melanie on Sunday, December 12, 2004 - 11:31 am:

I miss our family gatherings. My mom came from a family of 9 kids, and we all lived within a town or two of each other. Every Christmas Eve we would all get together. Santa would come with presents for the kids. There was a homemade gift exchange where the families would make something, wrap it and then you pick a name from the hat to see whose gift you got to unwrap and take home. There was lots of food and singing. I miss it terribly.

The event still goes on, but now we live 3000 miles away and haven't attended in 8 years. They call us every year (my sister and I are the only two no longer in the area) during the party, and I really do miss it.

By Insaneusmcwife on Sunday, December 12, 2004 - 12:15 pm:

We used to have family disfunctions before my Aunt passed away. I think she was the glue that kept the family togeather. My grandparents have 6 kids, 14 grandkids, and 15 great grandkids, not to mention spouses of the kids and grandkids. Nobody wanted to go to these get togeathers but nobody wanted to be the one to hurt my Aunts feelings. So we would all get togeather and about right after dinner something would spark a huge fight and someone always left crying or with hurt feelings. Well finally 2 years after my Aunt passed away, one of my Uncles decided that we had been long enough with out a disfunction so he begged and pleaded with everyone to go to my grandparents house for a birthday party for my gma. This was to be the fist gathering since my Aunts funeral, and that didn't go so well. With the exception of my husband, my sister who is MIA and a cousin who didn't come (my gma dosn't like her boyfriend so he was not invited) we actually had a really good get togeather. I don't know if it was becaue it has been 2 years since anyone had gotten togeather or what but there was not one fight the whole day. It was the first family get togeather ever that I left being glad I made the 3 hr drive. Its too bad my husband couldn't have been there, he would have thought we entered the twlight zone, lol.

By Dawnk777 on Sunday, December 12, 2004 - 01:17 pm:

My family can be difficult, sometimes. Some gatherings have everyone in a good mood and we have good conversation and a good time. Other times, I can't wait to leave. Sometimes my sisters and I get testy with each other. Argh.

With Gary's family, I just don't have the same baggage with them and I don't think we have ever had a bad family gathering. Sometimes, my niece can be weird, but if she is on her medication, then she's quite pleasant. We usually have a good time at Christmas!

My family is having a hard time figuring out when to do Christmas! LOL! We might be meeting in January!

By Breann on Sunday, December 12, 2004 - 06:46 pm:

I remember when I was a child we had huge family gatherings for holidays. It was so fun for me and I really looked forward to it.

I can see that my own kids enjoy the large family gatherings now. But, I can see and feel that the adults aren't that fond of them lol.

It's just a vicious cycle. But, as long as the kids are making good memories that's what counts in my book

By Feona on Monday, December 13, 2004 - 07:04 am:

I take back what I said. Yuck.... Family can be incredible hard. You really don't pick your relatives do you?

By Karen~moderator on Monday, December 13, 2004 - 07:28 am:

LOL Feona - no, you certainly can't pick your relatives, at least not to the degree that you can pick your friends!

I'm sure most of us have at least *one* relative we'd be able to live without - myself included there - and I don't invite that particular one to my house anymore.