OUr milkman hit my car a few weeks ago and no one can seem to get it running again..not sure what is not going right. Sooo...looks like that car is a goner. Well the amount that we are gonna get for it is not enough to do anything at all with as far as another car. To top it off my hubbys jeep just broke down AGAIN...i hate that thing but he is a mechanic and it was supposed to be his project car not a major form of transportation. The problem with fixing it is that since it is an American car and so since they dont even make Jeep over here parts have to be shipped over which by the way is highly expensive when they are big and heavy! But now we had NO car at all.
The thing that i am insulted by is that my hubbys boss has decided that because of this that we need to go to financial planning! This insults me because our problem is not financial at all in any way..it was a matter not WANTING to pay those costs for the jeep especially since it is so bad on gas and needs alot of work..i wanted to sit down and discuss our options first..does that make sense? In fact we had decided to lease a car here for the remainder of the time we were here. And take the jeep off the road and back to project status. I had the whole thing arranged and they were even dropping our car off on Wed.
We tried to explain this to his boss but he thinks that they can really get us out of debt. We are NOT in debt...not even close..We dont even have a credit card at all. we live in base housing and have the cable/phone bill and our car insurance. That is all of our bills. its a grand total of 220 a month. We have 400 a month going into retirement. We have a very nice budget and savings and everything and now since his boss has decided he knows more about our situation than we do we have the miltary taking all my bills and calling to make sure we have them paid and up to date!!!!!!!!!
OF course they all are and we have nothing to hide but i dont think i have ever been so angry or insulted in all my life. I worked soo hard to be 28 and have good sense about money and this just stinks if you ask me. I dont like that his bosses now think we cant handle our money. I told hubby when that financial lady tells him that we are doing great that we want a leeter stating so to take to his boss. This has humiliated me completely and i dont think i will feel better till he knows that i am not some lazy house wife that spends too much cuz thats the way i have taken this!
Thanks for letting me vent.

By Ginny~moderator on Tuesday, December 7, 2004 - 07:01 am:

I agree, this is outrageous. I don't understand. Why is your dh's boss even getting involved if you don't have creditors on your back or a bad credit rating? What are the rules about this kind of thing? Is this the same military system that didn't want to help you find new housing when you were in an area where your daughter was being bullied?

By Trina~moderator on Tuesday, December 7, 2004 - 07:18 am:

Definitely NONE of his business. I don't understand either. How does he have any right to do this?!

By Amecmom on Tuesday, December 7, 2004 - 07:37 am:

Kenna,
Was it your new Volvo the milkman hit? That must have been really hard to take. I can't believe the military is being so pig headed. It sounds typical to me though. Spend where they don't need to (sending you guys to financial planning) rather than using the money where they need it, like sending someone else.
Go, show them what you're doing and then ask if they want you to teach other people how to budget...

Ame

By Kim on Tuesday, December 7, 2004 - 07:43 am:

That's the military Ginny and Trina. If they think you are having problems they will step in. Happened to my ex. He NEEDED the help though and he still didn't learn.

By Hdelfuego on Tuesday, December 7, 2004 - 08:02 am:

You have a milkman? Where? I'm sorry that you're going through this. I agree...it's none of his business. Good luck!

By Ladypeacek on Tuesday, December 7, 2004 - 08:04 am:

Yep it was my new volvo they hit. His boss had said that if we werent having problems then why hadnt we taken care of the volvo yet and had the second car. Well we didnt want to make a decision about that till we knew if they were gonna fix it...duh! But my goodness..what does a car breaking down have to do with your finances..its not like this is a weekly thing..of course with the jeep it kinda is but only because it wasnt meant to be used quite so often until he had it fully restored which he cant do if we have to use it everyday. Now that we decided on leasing he will get back to it.

By Vicki on Tuesday, December 7, 2004 - 09:37 am:

Wow.. I would really question if this is even legal!!

By Boxzgrl on Tuesday, December 7, 2004 - 10:00 am:

The sad thing about the military is that this is very legal for them to do and it happens all the time. Its nothing personal. They just want to make sure their guys are financially stable enough so it doesn't alter their work performance. And its not just finances. They get involved in marital problems, parental problems, family problems... everything. And its not be be jerks or bully people around, they just want to see their men doing their best.

I wouldnt take it personal Kenna, especially as a military wife. Look at the bright side that they care enough to mention something, even if they dont know the full story. And if they make you go to a financial advisor, maybe you'll even pick up something you never knew about. Good luck in the search for a new car.

By Palmbchprincess on Tuesday, December 7, 2004 - 12:13 pm:

Gotta love the military!! I'm sorry you are going through this! I think Melissa is right, even though you may not need to go, you may still learn something interesting!!

By Cat on Tuesday, December 7, 2004 - 12:58 pm:

Sorry you're having to deal with this, Kenna. I think Melissa and Crystal hit the nail on the head. Your dh's supervisor just wants him to perform at his best. Sometimes they go overboard. Unfortunately, just like every other government system, there are also people out there not getting the help they need. One of those sad realities. Good luck finding a new car. Hopefully your hubby can also get that Jeep running! We had a Jeep for a few years and while it's not the best family car, they are fun! Just don't get one stuck in the snow... (don't ask! lol)

By Mrsheidi on Tuesday, December 7, 2004 - 02:57 pm:

Kenna, I'm sorry they are doing this. My husband was a Battery Exec. Officer and had to deal with WAY worse than this situation. He had to send a lot of families to financial counseling. (Child support, not paying car payments, etc.) Actually, most of them were single guys with some major issues. He had collectors calling the office nonstop. Although, and I don't know what the situation is like overseas, the officers were very professional. None of the officers talked about what was going on...they kept things private and only disclosed what was necessary.
That aside, it still feels embarrassing because they don't truly know your situation and if they did, they wouldn't be recommending this. It's the "bad kids" that make the "good kids" look bad.
The only reason why I can see why they would make this decision for you is if he's not getting to where he needs to be, etc. If he's not making it to PT on time or other things. It's easier to assume that families have money issues than it is to actually ask the right questions. Your husband also needs to provide the right answers. Guys are hardly ever detailed about explaining things.
I'm sorry...I feel for you!!!!

By Colette on Tuesday, December 7, 2004 - 03:19 pm:

Why do you have to pay to get the volvo fixed? Isn't the milkman insured?

By Ladypeacek on Wednesday, December 8, 2004 - 01:50 am:

colette...its not that they wont pay to get it fixed ..they cant figure out what the heck is wrong with it..they have tried alot of stuff and it just wont go.

The problem i really have with all this is that my dh had a very bad marriage before me and it caused him alot of embarrassment at the previous base. She not only ran them into the ground finaicially but she was unfaithful with guys he worked with. When we met after the divorce and fianlly got married we struggled through the first year to get through the mess and come out ahead. So now that we have done so and we are doing great this is like a punch in the stomach to him and his pride and all the respect he worked so hard for to have his commander look at him and think he cant handle his finances...just last week he got the airman of the month award for the whole base for his hard work and dedication to volunteering.

Well he went to the meeting and the planner and i sent our budget printed straight from my computer with him and she said it was lovely and tried a few other ways on her spreadsheet and couldnt come out better so she sent her follow up to his commander saying that we were doing great and there was no need for them to be involved....yayyyyy for us!

thanks for listening everyone!

By Tink on Wednesday, December 8, 2004 - 11:55 am:

Glad to hear that the financial advisor was able to see that you are doing a great job and that this doesn't have to drag out. Good luck with the car, it sounds like you may be needing it.

By Happynerdmom on Wednesday, December 8, 2004 - 12:21 pm:

That's great, Kenna! I'm glad it worked out. I hope your dh feels better about the whole thing.

By Palmbchprincess on Wednesday, December 8, 2004 - 01:45 pm:

Great to hear Kenna!!