Okay....I'm going to try to make this as short as possible.
My 12 yo step daughter went to spend 5 days with her mom before thanksgiving. A day or two before she left I found a note in her writing on the steps going upstairs. Basically saying I was ALOT of things I won't write here. That I stole her dad and I was the reason her mom and dad divorced, etc. etc. I know she's being fed this because she was barely 2 yo when her father and I got together.
So now, after Thanksgiving and the kids are back at school and I am trying to get everyone back into some sort of routine I get a phone call at work telling me that a social worker pulled MY 7 yo old out of class. Apparantly they asked her questions about going to bed hungry. Being beaten. Needing school clothes and supplies and not getting them (I do 3 to 4 loads of laundry JUST for the 12 and 13 year old a week, how many clothes do they want?) Just dumb stuff. John got to talk to this social worker after she'd seen the girls. I have yet to talk with her, she's unavailable until next Wed.
This morning I have the local police officer here delivering my husband court papers. This woman is taking him to court for "conditions and restrictions of visitation page 3, #2..."not being under the influence of drugs or alcohol..."etc.
Well, I have found this page 3 #2 and it says...
The visiting party will,when the child is with him, not be under the influence of any drugs or alsohol nor endanger the child's life, health or safety in any way.
Well, the first three words of that are THE VISITING PARTY. He is not the visiting party, she is. He has custody. So is this going to hold up in court or do I need more?
I'm not so worried about the social worker...I have all kinds of stuff for her.
I'm having a hard time dealing with the 12 year old, I have always agreed that she should be able to speak her mind as long as it is done respectably. So this isn't so much her fault although she did get the ball rolling. I realize it's her sick, obsessed pyschotic mother who's doing this. On top of all this my husband is 2 states away helping my father paint a townhouse they are moving into in a week.
Any advice, legal or otherwise would be much appriciated and possible stop my head from reeling in circle over this.
TIA
Beth

By Ginny~moderator on Friday, December 3, 2004 - 02:01 pm:

GET A LAWYER. CALL YOUR HUSBAND AND GET THE NAME AND PHONE NUMBER OF THE LAWYER WHO HANDLED THE DIVORCE AND CUSTODY STUFF, AND GET A LAWYER. YOU SHOULD NOT - REPEAT NOT - TRY TO HANDLE THIS YORUSELF, ESPECIALLY IF IT INVOLVES SPEAKING WITH AN INVESTIGATING POLICE OFFICER OR SOCIAL WORKER.

I apologize for yelling, but the potential consequences of this mess are simply too great to try to handle it yourself. If the social worker or a supervisor at family services decides to do so, they could take all the children out of the household and put them in foster care while they investigate - and getting that resolved would be a lot, lot more expensive than getting a lawyer up front.

By Eight_Kids on Friday, December 3, 2004 - 02:17 pm:

I can't afford a lawyer. Major fundage problem here. I wish it was that easy I really do.

By Kay on Friday, December 3, 2004 - 02:59 pm:

Most communities have Legal Aid - check the listings and call them immediately. I've had friends go through the most nightmarish sequence of events due to something that was said out of anger by a non-custodial parent, or even an acquaintance trying to make things difficult. Just remember that the police, CPS, etc. are required to check out any and all accusations. Watch your back!

Good luck!

By Rayanne on Friday, December 3, 2004 - 03:07 pm:

I don't have any advice, but wanted to send you some {{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}

By My2cuties on Friday, December 3, 2004 - 05:14 pm:

I don't mean to frighten you but when my sister was 8 years old she thought it would be "cool" to say that my mom beat her 7 times a day and when she went home from school she would beat her 7 times that day. She was taken out of my mothers custody and all because they believed her over my mom. This is very serious and if she is lying, (about either one of you) then her mother (or someone) could get full custody of her, of course I don't know your entire situation (why the father got custody and all that) but I am just telling you this is a very serious situation like Ginny stated. I hope all goes well, and you really need to find a lawyer, maybe one around you would take payments or something. Sorry about this I know being a young 13 year old when my dad had a girlfriend I disliked her very much so and only part of it was my mother the other part was my dwelling on it and thinking what could have broken up my mom and dad...Kids will try to find an answer if they are not given one by their parents as to why they got a divorce in the first place it is a very hard thing to cope with. Sorry I am rambling, but just incase you have not been in her shoes I wanted to let you know how it was for me at least. I hope this turns out good for both you and your dh.

By Breann on Friday, December 3, 2004 - 07:04 pm:

I agree you need a lawyer. Maybe you can find one that will work with you on payments. Start calling around. Maybe you can be one of the free cases that so many of the lawyers do now.

Usually, with most lawyers, the first consulatation is free. Gather all the papers up and make that free appointment. That will point you in the right direction. Maybe take advantage of going to several different lawyers for that "free first time consulatation".
{{{{hugs}}}}
This sounds like it could get serious.