As some of you know my grampa died friday before last, my grama has althiemers (sp). She lives in a long term care home. Last night mom called to tell us that she is acting really strange now. She was pushing some man around in his wheel chair, and his name was malcom, which just happens to be my real grandfather's name , he died in the 70's. A freind of the family asked her who she was pushing around and she said malcom, my husband!!. My mom said this man does not look anything like my late grampa. I think it is a coping meconisom, (sp) for her . It is just really weird. Has anyone else had someone in their family who is acting like this?

By Trina~moderator on Monday, November 29, 2004 - 06:08 pm:

I'm sorry to hear about your Grandpa. Did your Grandmother remarry? Was Malcolm her first husband? I'm confused. Her behavior is not unusual for Alzeimer's. I've had elderly relatives who had it, and they often mistook people's identities or didn't recognize close family members. {{{HUGS}}}

By Tink on Monday, November 29, 2004 - 07:05 pm:

I also think this is typical behavior. My great-grandmother, who had Alzheimers', mistook me for my grandmother for the last two years she was with us. Since she was family and it didn't hurt anyone, I just answered to my grandmother's name. It made her feel better and we had some great conversations because of it. I think it will be something that is hard to change now that she has her mind set on this man being her first husband. We tried for a while to change my great-grandmother's mind but, since she had no more short-term memory, we ended up explaining the same thing to her over and over. Lots of hugs, you are going through so much right now.

By Mrsheidi on Monday, November 29, 2004 - 09:14 pm:

Sorry to hear...My grandfather has Alzheimer's and it's such a sad disease. Her "coping mechanism" is just that she's trying to hold on to SOME memory. They still try to be so independent and stubborn too. My grandfather asked my grandmother is she had a boyfriend and then proceeded to ask her out! It was too cute!!
It does get worse however, but patience is all we can have. Just be happy she can walk and push someone around...I know it's hard though...

By Mrse on Tuesday, November 30, 2004 - 10:33 am:

Yes Trina malcom, was my real grandfather, and he died when I was a kid, then my grama married Tom, who was actually a family friend and who's wife had also died a few years earlier. They my grama and tom had been married since the early 80's. I don't believe in arguing with her either, my mom and aunt, try to correct her but I just don't see the harm, unless of course the new fellow she is pushing around is of course married. Which would cause some problems.

By Wandilu on Wednesday, December 1, 2004 - 11:57 am:

My mother died 4 yrs ago with Alsheimer.It's really hard watching them go through this.At times,her personality completely changed .Mama never cursed in her life.But,when this came on her,she yelled out words we didn't even know she knew!!For some reason,she would take off all of her clothes and walk around stark naked (until someone found her),That was the thing that hurt me so bad for her,because mama was always so modest and it would have terribly hurt her if she knew what she was doing.There was a man in the nursing home that for some reason thought mama was his wife.He would come into her room and sit for hours by her bed holding her hand.He talked so sweet to her.And his wife was actually at the nursing home,too.In a strange way,I felt sorry for his wife.We got mama a baby doll,similar to the ones she had in her time era,and she loved it.She truely thought it was her baby,and she would "talk" to my daddy about the baby(he had been dead for about 30 yrs.)But it seemed to have a calming effect on her.