So how do yall do it? It is a long story here at my house, but obviously we aren't in agreement with each other! Do you alternate Christmas and Thanksgiving between families or does one family always get Christmas and the other always turkey day? We have tried many things over the years, for the first 8 or so years of our marriage one year we did turkey day with his family, christmas with mine and then we switched the next year. Then we lived farther away, I lost my mom, my dad remarried, we spend turkey day home alone, christmas with his family (did I mention they are jewish?), and then new years with my family. Well things have changed once again, we moved again, I lost my step mom. And now we are in the what do we do phase. So I was just curious how others handled this. Are you happy? Do your families cope? Or is there always little comments made?

By Tink on Monday, November 29, 2004 - 02:27 am:

My dh isn't very close to his parents so we only see his dad on Christmas Day, after we have spent Christmas Eve (when we have always done our big celebration and package opening) and Christmas Brunch with my mom and stepdad. We have visited my FIL a few times on Thanksgiving Day but we don't have much to talk about and it always seems awkward. My MIL lives in WA so we haven't had to worry about sharing holidays with her...yet. She is planning to move back to this area in the next few years and I expect that to throw everything our of whack.

So far, this works pretty well for all of us, but, if my mom has to share us anymore, I expect she'll be fairly upset. She tends to be jealous of time we spend with my in-laws. I don't look forward to my MIL moving here but not for the usual reasons.

By Happynerdmom on Monday, November 29, 2004 - 07:52 am:

We alternate...whoever gets Thanksgiving Day, gets Christmas Eve, and the other gets Christmas Day. We all live near the same city, and it has worked for our family very well. My dh's sisters are on the same schedule, so the whole family "rotates." We are lucky that neither family gets jealous of the other. Am I happy? Yeah, I guess. But I LOVED living overseas when Thanksgiving and Christmas were just my immediate family...I don't mean to sound "grinchy," but I would love not having to worry about spending it here or there...just me, my dh, my kids, some good friends...maybe a beach...

By Debbie on Monday, November 29, 2004 - 08:13 am:

Well, I can relate Kaye because we have moved around lately which makes it hard. When we all lived in the same town it was much easier. We shared each holiday with both. However, lately since we have lived farther away it is different. We have started spending Thanksgiving at home with just us. It is just too hard to fly on Thanksgiving. We also spend Christmas at home and my family comes to our house. My parents don't mind traveling and my only brother is single, so it is easier for them to come here. Dh is close to his parents, but not his 4 brothers and sisters. We have just made the decision that it is too hard to travel during the holidays, we did it once. Flying is just too expensive during the holidays and I would hate to drive from Chicago during the winter. Now, his family is always welcome here, but they would never come. Dh's sister insist on having Christmas at her house every year. Dh doesn't seem to mind that we spend Christmas with my family. He actually made a comment the other day that he enjoys my family more. His family always seems to have some sort of "incident" when every one is together.

By My2girlygirls on Monday, November 29, 2004 - 08:20 am:

We do Thanksgiving lunch with DH's family and dinner with mine (this year my parents were out of town) so we had friends who didn't have local family come over to our house for dinner. Then we do Christmas Eve (afternoon) with DH's family and my parents comes to our house on Christmas morning after they have opened their own gifts together and we have opened ours, then we exchange gifts with them. They actually make the rounds with me and my brother. They know that when you have kids it's hard to say "Here are your toys kids, now let's leave them and go visit everyone else". They don't seem to mind. It works for us.

By Rayanne on Monday, November 29, 2004 - 08:29 am:

We alternate dinner and dessert with Thanksgiving. This year we had dinner with my DH's family and dessert with mine. Next year we will have dinner with my family and dessert with his. We do it like this every year and it is fine.

With Christmas it is really easy because his family celebrates it on Christmas Eve, so I see my family on Christmas Day.

By Pamt on Monday, November 29, 2004 - 08:40 am:

This is always a tough one isn't is? My parents and DH's parents now live in the same town (funny how that happened---it's not the town we grew up in) about 3 hours away from us. For Thanksgiving we usually stay with his parents because my sister's family stays with my parents and there's not much room. DH's brother lives in CO so he doesn't come home for holidays. For both families, Thanksgiving lunch is the big meal of the day so we alternate who we eat lunch with and who we eat dinner with. Then during the whole time we are there, we divide each day into my family and time with my inlaws.

When our oldest was 2 we quit travelling for Christmas and it was the BEST decision we ever made. We let both sets of parents know that they are welcome to come to our house, but we aren't traveling. Many times it's been just our little family of 4 here, but 2 years ago the inlaws came, last year my mom came alone (my dad was a hospital pharmacist and worked on Christmas so the families with young children could be off ), and this year both of my parents are coming for Christmas Eve/Christmas Day and my inlaws are probably driving over just for Christmas Day.

Having Christmas at home has allowed us to start out own family traditions, our children don't have to travel, and we don't have to lug gifts back and forth. One Christmas that we spent entirely alone we had a cranky sick toddler and I was exhausted so we had fish sticks and boxed mac and cheese for Christmas lunch. The kids loved it and it was no pressure for me. I think we stayed in our pajamas all day too! I am VERY happy about our arrangement and have never heard any grumbling from the family. Also, this is what works best for us so I could just let negative comments roll off if I did hear them.

With your DH's family being Jewish, I would not spend Christmas with them since they aren't celebrating it anyway. Are you close enough that you could visit for a day or two of Hannukah? I would maybe alternate Thanksgiving every year, spend Christmas with your family, and New Years at home alone. Good luck with your decision!

By Brandy on Monday, November 29, 2004 - 08:51 am:

Thankfully we get to spend both with each parent = ) one lives about 10 minutes away and one about 30 minutes away...we go to my mom's christmas eve and his grandparents too and then on christmas we open presents from santa here and then go to my mom and dad's for santa presents there...then over to my grandma's house for more presents and then back up to his grandpa's house for more presents lol and then usually to his mom's for more presents = )

By Christylee on Monday, November 29, 2004 - 09:44 am:

Brendan's first Christmas we drove to Austin to be with DH's family, after that horrible trip back we swore we'd never do it again, and haven't! lol... This year I'm hosting Christmas Eve dinner for my family(I'm really excited) and then his mom may come down on New Years to do our Christmas celebration then. We did that last year and it seemed to work out great.

By Tunnia on Monday, November 29, 2004 - 09:56 am:

My parents live about five miles from us and my dh's mother lives about 8 hours drive away.

For Thanksgiving we alternate years. One year we go to mil's house for Thanksgiving and do an early Thanksgiving with my family. The next year host Thanksgiving with my family and we do an early or late Thanksgiving with my mil.

We do not travel for Christmas. My family traveled to be with family on Christmas when I was a child and I always hated waking up on someone's couch on Christmas morning so I made a rule when we had children we would not travel to anyone's house for Christmas. So we celebrate Christmas afternoon at my parent's house and my mil comes here for about a week and goes with us to our family Christmas get-togethers. We all go to my brother and sil's house for dinner on Christmas Eve.

We are trying something different this year though. We are doing a combined Thanksgiving/Christmas with my mil before Christmas this year and she isn't coming here for Christmas at all.

By Insaneusmcwife on Monday, November 29, 2004 - 09:57 am:

Is it possible for you to have the holiday celebration at your house or are you like us and have to cater to everyone else?
Idealy, we like to spend Christmas at home so the kids can wake up in there bed. Thanksgiving and Easter are alternated between his dads house and my dads house. These last couple years have not worked out that way due to us being in Okinawa and then the 2 Iraq deployments. This year I spent thanksgiving with other wives whose husbands are deployed with mine and this Chistmas will be spent in Texas. This is a very non traditional year for us.