Had a good time in Washington, visiting DH's dad and his new wife for Thanksgiving...but, I can just say I'm partially glad we don't live close. "Step" MIL kept telling me how I could do better with my 5 mo old. They got him a "booster/high chair" (I didn't ask them to..it was nice of them to get it though) and started to feed him solid foods. She told me that she used to just hold them in her arms and spoon feed them that way. So, she took him out and started to show me and my poor son started to choke on the rice cereal! Then, she goes to tell me that he must not be hungry...grrrr...my ds was just expecting a bottle in that position.
If he cried for longer than 10 seconds, she would step in...one example: DS woke up from a nap and 10 minutes later I gave him a bath. After the bath (mind you I took the bath with him) he started crying. He was cold, wet, hungry...etc. So, I'm trying to clothe him (while I was naked) and he keeps crying. I'm doing my best to get a pacifier from DH by calling for him...long story short...I go to feed him and she says (in front of me)to her grown daughter, "Well, she should have fed him before she gave him his bath."
He can't go to sleep if he eats and then takes a bath but I didn't feel like explaining this to her. And, since we went to Washington, it was 3 hours earlier so my poor DS was way off schedule.
She also turned up the heat to "purgatory" levels and told me that she was worried about him all night since he was wearing a jumper without footsies...she doesn't know that my son overheats...his metabolism is high and gets too hot at night.
I think I'm new to all this since DS is only 5 mo old.
Your turn...tell me I'm not the only one that goes through this!!!

By Dana on Sunday, November 28, 2004 - 11:02 am:

If it helps any, I now have a 6 yr old, and I can't really remember any in-law (or family for that matter) events that really stick to my head. So just remember in 5 years, you will barely remember this stuff. You will remember "something" you didn't care for, but you may not be able to put your finger on the details.

I do recall DD's great grandma having a fit because I didn't use baby powder. Oh well, too bad. My child, my rules.

By Trina~moderator on Sunday, November 28, 2004 - 11:53 am:

You're certainly not the only one. {{{HUGS}}} My very dear MIL passed away before we had children but I could tell you a few stories about my own parents. LOL! They mean well. They love their grandchildren very much and those maternal instincts take over. The trick is to learn to be respectful to them while standing up for your parenting beliefs. In time your MIL/relatives will learn to step back and you will become more confident and let their comments slide.

Dana, I chuckled when I read about the baby powder. LOL! My Mom also didn't understand my not using it, until I explained the reasons why pediatricians advise not to.

By Jelygu on Sunday, November 28, 2004 - 02:55 pm:

My mother in law... I don't even know where to begin!
When Christopher was a newborn, I HATED to let her hold him, because she didn't support his head! You would think, after raising three children of her own, she would know to hold a baby's head! She would also insist on holding him when he was crying so that we could enjoy ourselves. But she could never calm him down, so of course my husband and I were stressed and NOT enjoying anything!
And now that he is almost a year old, she thinks it is funny to head-butt with him. Cause that's something I want my baby to learn!
I could go on for ever... thank goodness we almost never see her. (even though she lives 10 min away)

By Dawnk777 on Sunday, November 28, 2004 - 05:06 pm:

No MIL stories to tell. I never got to meet her. She died a year before I met DH. I just let potty-training take it's own natural course, so my kids were trained later than my sisters and I were. That drove my mom nuts! LOL!

Also, when I announced to her that both of my children had learned to read, she didn't believe and thought that they must have had a story memorized. Yeah, right, my younger dd at 5yo could read the word "sunflower" in a newspaper, without any visual clues! Argh! Otherwise, my mom has pretty much let me do my own thing.

By Lauram on Sunday, November 28, 2004 - 05:33 pm:

My MIL is awful. It started out in babyhood with things like that and has gotten worse- way worse. I'm not speaking to her right now as a matter of fact. It has to do with my son, his issues (Tourette's and ADHD) and his medication. Our issues are very serious- more than most families deal with- and I truly don't trust her to be alone with him at this point. I'm going to leave it there for now- because if I go into it, I'll get upset.

By Uvinas on Sunday, November 28, 2004 - 08:05 pm:

My son is 3 months and I have had a problem with both my MIL and my mom since day one. They think that I dont know how to take care of my own son and want to take over any chance they can. It is soooo frustrating. I am not a very assertive person so it makes it even more frustrating not knowing how to stick up for my self. I am visiting my MIL in two weeks and not looking forward to her comments.

By Rayanne on Sunday, November 28, 2004 - 08:13 pm:

Well, it wasn't my MIL, but my aunt who made me mad. On Thanksgiving, we went to Chris' aunts house for dinner and Rylee had a lot to eat. More than she is really used to, so she threw it up a little. After that we went to my mom's house and my aunt grabed her out of my hands and went to go sit down. She started to feed her pie and I asked her not to because she already had a lot to eat and it didn't really agree with her. She said that she was just giving her a little and I said fine, if she throws up on you don't tell me I didn't warn you and I walked away. She didn't spit up, but I was praying she would. LOL

By Tink on Sunday, November 28, 2004 - 08:33 pm:

Why can't these (generally) well-meaning people just back off? We know as much about being a parent as they did at this point in our lives and we know a heck of a lot more about our kids than they usually do! My FIL cannot stand the thought that his grandson has a disability. My niece has been diagnosed bi-polar and ADHD and he is supportive and helpful with her medication and therapy. But, if my ds's disability (autism) is brought up, he will just laugh and say "There's nothing wrong with the A------- men! He just needs to outgrow it!" Well, if he doesn't have autism, the therapy we have him in is still working wonders so I think we'll stick with what's working! I try to keep a sense of humor but these macho Italian men! *sigh*

By Christylee on Sunday, November 28, 2004 - 10:42 pm:

I don't have any horrible stories, sorry. I'm pretty lucky in that I only see my MIL maybe 2-4 times a year and when I do she's great. She's only done one thing that I didn't agree with but he'd probably learned it on his own anyways (sticking hands under door when I'm in the bathroom) though we couldn't figure out why you'd actually "teach" a child that. lol... I don't have any words of wisdom or advice, hang in there, YOU know your baby best and just remember that.

By Mrsheidi on Monday, November 29, 2004 - 10:42 am:

Good stories! So glad I'm not the only one...
Tink- I too have an Italian family. They always have a quick solution for everything, no?
oh...Forgot to mention that she also was putting an olive towards his mouth...she wanted him to eat "people food"...ACK! She said she didn't know why I only fed him baby food and questioned the fact that I don't give him egg whites or peanut butter.
I think that's the part that makes me upset the most. It's hard to leave him with her when she has that attitude. I had to explain allergies to her a million times. I think I'll email her a website to show her so she doesn't think I'm just making this up. Anyone know of any good websites?

By My2cuties on Monday, November 29, 2004 - 10:59 am:

Well, whatever it is that my MIL thinks about me, behind my back, is unknown to me. She only tells me what a good mother I am and she is so happy to have me in the family. Don't get me wrong, we have our days, but mostly it was in the beginning, things are alot better now. Anyway, my big problem is with My mom...change her diaper, she is wet, put a hat on her, she's gonna get sick going out like that, give her some tylenol, and the list keeps going on forever. She still tries to put Desitin on my potty trained 3 year old. UUUGGGHHH. She really gets on my nerves at time but anyway, I still love her it just makes me want to scream. My sister made it through and said to just ignore her, but I guess since I am the "baby" she thinks she can still tell me what to do or get mad if I don't do it. That's all I am going to say because I am afraid I am getting upset just thinking about it. Maybe things will get better once my girls get older.

By Trina~moderator on Monday, November 29, 2004 - 11:57 am:

Mrsheidi, the web sites below are loaded with information.

BabyCenter.com

HealthyKids.com

AAP.org

KidsHealth.org

By Kittycat_26 on Monday, November 29, 2004 - 12:44 pm:

My response to all of those loving family members that bombard me with advice is......

"I must be doing something right as he's still alive and kicking."

By Imamommyx4 on Monday, November 29, 2004 - 05:10 pm:

Years ago when we had only been in our new house for about a month, MIL came to stay 2 weeks to babysit the boys until they started at their new school. The first day that I worked after her arrival, I came home to a redone kitchen. She had moved all of the stuff in my kitchen cabinets to "better' locations. I thought I would explode. But I was very nice, said thank you and went to the garage to do some sanding on an old piece of furniture. Nearly rubbed a hole right thru it!!!