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Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive November 2004: What a day of accomplishments
DH and I are friends with a 17 year old boy who used to be our neighbor. He was getting himself into a lot of trouble so DH was helping straighten him out. While in his "wild" days he got his girlfriend pregnant. She had the baby Aug. 25, didn't put him on the birth certificate and has been refusing him too see his son. Her parents dont like him and since shes living in their house, she feels she has to follow their rules. Lasy night DH spend almost 2 hours on the phone before convincing her of how much Jason has changed. And he has. Works 40-50 hours, bought a car, pays rent and is giving her money and helping buys things for their son. Well DH finally convinced her to go behind her parents back and let Jason see his son. If they are old enough to make a child, they should be able to make vcertain decisions regarding this child and granted Jason is only 17 hes making every effort to fix his mistake and be an actively involved father and help support his child. Her parents of course see differently, they see his as the guy that got theit daughter into drugs. So, I see both sides of the story. But he saw his son today for the 1st time, it was very emotional and we took about 50+ pictures of all of them. Heres one:
I'll have to fix the pic later, sorry.
I'm glad your DH could reason with the girl, and that the guy was able to see his son. I hope this is the first of MANY occasions to get to see his baby. Hope to see the pics soon, what a joyous moment.
I am so impressed with what you and your husband have done - granted, some bad decisions were made by the kids, but they were made by both of those parents. And the innocent is a child who deserves to know who his father is. God bless you and your DH who have expended energy to help this young man grow up. Yes, he's young, but he's in a very grown-up situation.
Okay, having probs with my image cruncher.
Okay heres the link
You should be very proud of yourselves.
I think its awesome that you did this. Its a shame her parents won't be the adults and help organize this. SOmeone needs to do it though. My ex and I helped a few straying teens at one point. I wish more people would try and make a difference. Just be careful not to get too involved. This happened to us once and I regret it. Regardless, Kudos!!
I would be proud too. That is agreat thing that you guys did. Now...if only you could have the same affect on the girls' parents...
Melissa, do you have permission from the mother to post this picture, or from the father? I am very uncomfortable about posting pictures of other people's children unless you have permission. In fact, I am generally uncomfortable about posting pictures of other people or their families (even adults) without their permission.
I have very mixed feelings about this, but in any case, the baby is beautiful!! I am glad he got to see him.
I, like Vicki, have mixed feeling about this. I'm glad that this young man is trying to make better choices and I'm glad that you and your DH have been able to be there for him.
Awww cute baby! I'm glad Jason got to see the baby!
I, also, also have mixed feelings. Although I do think it is important for the father to make every effort to straighten up his life and become more responsible, I don't necessarily think it is a good idea to be going behind the grandparent's back. They should at least have been informed if anything. I know it is up to the parents to decide, but the grandparents do seem to have a huge interest in the welfare of this child, and should have at least been told what was happening. I have been in a very similar circumstance, so I am speaking with the knowledge of BTDT. In any case, I do applaud you and your dh for making the efforts to help this boy straighten his life up.
I too had mixed feelings about the situation but it is what it is so I only want to see the best possible circumstances come out of it. I only agreed to help Jason because of the extreme change he has done with his life. Before he changed i've had hours upon hours of talks with him about how to change, what to do etc... and I am sure he is going to continue doing good. He's become more like a brother to DH and I, he really is a good kid raised by "hippies" and I dont mean that to cut anyone down but his parents were and are the sex, drugs, rock and roll type of people and it came off onto Jason for a while. His ex still has feelings for him, wants to be with him but is afraid to confront her parents. She's 18 so she can make her own decisions now so I think her parents should give her their best parental advice and back off to let her grow up. Her Mom doesn't even let her take her son places, she has to ask permission. Now that is a bit weird to me. I only stepped in to help Jason get to see his son because I dont want him to feel the pain my DH felt for not knowing our daughter the first few months of her life. Nobody deserves that! But honestly I think her parents have no right as to whether or not Jason can see *his* child. He may be 17 but the mother is 18 and is of legal age. JMO though. Nonetheless, it was the right decision and I know it was. It was very emotional and nothing but a good outcome for all parties involved.
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