My brother and his girl friend are getting married she lives in Tulsa and my brother lives about 3 hours from her. Well she wants to move to where we live and find a house,job the works. So she tells me to keep an eye for a job and a home. She came down one day last week and wanted me to show her around town look for some houses and jobs. Well she wants to get in the homes that are based on your income. We have quite a few around here. So she put her application and and they told her it would be over 6 months before they could get her into one. She then tells me maybe she will rent one. She wants a 3 -4 bedroom home with a few bathrooms under $300.00. But Rent here is high a 4 bedroom is well over 5-$600. I explained it to her and she wouldn't listen. Dh is a assistant manager at a Drug store. I asked if they were hiring. They had her come in for an interview and they hired her and Dh and the manager said they would hold open the job until she found her a home. So her and I went around town looking for a home.Well she found some that were empty and asked me if I could call around and find the owners. I told her I would when I had the time. Well the next day she calls my brother wanting to know if I found out anything. He then calls me all huffy asking me if I had done it yet. I told him no that I hadn't had the time. I call around the next day and made over a dozen calls to find out that I had to go to the court house and they would do it there for me. SO I do it. None of them were rentals. Tell brother that and they both kinda get mad ( not my fault) well he then tells me if I can call around to see how much a uhaul will cost. So I did. no good because she is not moving from here. it would cost more money she needs to rent it from up there. WEll a few days later. they called me and wanted to know if I had found a house. I found a 4bedroom 2 bath new remodeled in a really nice neighborhood for 400.00 she got all upset and said she couldn't afford that. They decided that she was going to move in with my parents and my brother along with her 2 kids in a 4 bedroom home. She then says that my parents can move out and they could take over the house because they needed more room. Which my parents want to but its the fact that she said it.
as some of you know my brother is diabetic and has lost his eye sight about 7 years ago and is on dialysis and is waiting for a kidney and my Mom has taken care of him for along time and he don't get how upset she is and that they should wait to move out on his own until his transplants are done and they wouldn't have to worry about doin his dialysis 4 times a day. because if she is working she can't do it.but they don't understand that.
Well he then tells my Mom he wants to go find her a engagement ring. well My MOm and him went looking and I guess they found a real nice ring around 700.00 but it was ONLY 3\4 caret he tells me that he wants to find atleast 1-2 carets. I couldn't believe it he only makes 500.00 a month on disability. He is living in LaLa land. He wants this huge wedding but the don't think who is paying for it. my parents cant and she's not working she days child support plus his 500.00 it don't make since to me. I am so fed up with it I could scream. she still hasn't told Dh yet that she don't want the job I don't think I should its not my buisness. I am just venting I feel like they are taken advantage of me. I told my sister tonight that Im not helping out no more they can do it on there own. I liked her in the beginning but I am beginning to have my doughts..

By Nicosmom on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 01:19 am:

They are taking advantage of you. I've had friends and relatives like this (who hasn't), and it is emotionally draining. I'm the type who can't turn anyone down even if I really want to. I feel for you.

By Emily7 on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 01:36 am:

(((Marie)))
Some people have no tack or manners & it seems like your brother found one of those people. I do not understand people that use. I WANT to do things for myself & my family not depend on others. I don't understand people that think they are owed things because they were dealt a hard hand.

By Dawnk777 on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 07:44 am:

How come she can't make the phone calls about housing? Yeah, 1-2 carat diamond is obviously out of their league! Good grief!

By Amecmom on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 08:41 am:

Marie, none of this should be your problem anymore. You did all you could to help, now you need to sit back and "let nature take its course". The more you do, the more you will be resented and blamed for what goes wrong.
Does your brother really love this woman, or it it the idea of a more "normal" life than he has had that appeals to him? It can't have been easy on him to be so ill all these years, and maybe he is yearning for a change.
I really feel for your parents. They have cared for him for so long and now they are being shut out - even from their own home.
Where will they go if they move? Is this move something they really want, or are they just doing it to accomodate your brother and his girl?
This can't be easy and I'm sending you lots of hugs!

Ame

By Melanie on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 09:10 am:

Of course they are taking advantage of you. You are letting them. You have done everything they have asked you to do, even though they were perfectly capable of doing all of it on their own. You are just trying to be nice and helpful, of course, but you need to draw the line. Set up the boundaries now of what you will and will not do, especially since they plan on moving so close to you. I wish you the best of luck!!!

By Kernkate on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 09:16 am:

{{{Marie}}} This whole situation can not be easy for you. Have to agree with everyone you are being taken advantage of. I would stop it right now.
Best of luck

By Happynerdmom on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 09:21 am:

Ditto others...if you allow this to continue, how will it be when they live near you?! I understand, though. I probably would have done the same thing. ((hugs)) Good luck.

By Missmudd on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 01:25 pm:

Sounds like a bad case of Bridzilla. As an aside, Is housing really that cheap that you could have a 4 bdrm 2 bath for $400 a mth. Thats $800-1000 easy here. And I am in the wilds of oregon.

By Boxzgrl on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 01:39 pm:

I'm moving where you are! A 4 bdrm here is at least 2K and prices wont go down any time soon!!!