Need lots of advice Very, Very Long
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive October 2004:
Need lots of advice Very, Very Long
I am going anon on this because some of the interested parties may visit this board, I don't know. OK, to keep things clear (I hope) I'm going to give fictitious names to my people.
Sally - where he lived/woman he dated most recently
Jane - Woman he saw years ago and is talking to again.
Flo- Woman Sally believes that dad is "cheating" on her with.
Ok, here goes.
Dad was living in a house right beside Sally. It was a house that Sally owned and she was letting him stay there for free because they were "good friends". Dad started getting phone calls from another state. One call came in one day while Sally was at Dad's house. Sally asked, "Who is that?" (caller ID) Dad said, "I don't know, they've been calling for weeks, I just let it ring."
The next time Dad went to work Sally got the number off of caller ID and called it. I don't know for sure what happened there, because I am telling you the story as dad told it to me. He said that when he came home Sally was lying on his couch watching TV and drying her clothes. (Why was she drying clothes at his house was my first question. No answer to that one) Anyways, he sits down and pulls off his shoes and socks and Sally says, "The jig is up (yes I'm serious) I called that number back and talked to a woman named Flo."
"What?"
"You don't have to pretend anymore. I know all about it."
"I don't even know what your talking about"
At this point Sally left and went to her house. Now, Dad and my mom had a very messy divorce and for years mom said dad was cheating on her. Although, she was the one caught commiting adultery and that was why they divorced. Dad talked to my brother about moving in with him. He said he'd put up with being accused of cheating for years and he wasn't going to put up with it any more.
Ok, so the week that all this happened Sally came to my brothers house with alot of stuff for them, me, and my sister. Now this is a woman that we have only seen at Christmas and Thanksgiving when she would come with Dad. So it was very strange. We all said thank you and blew it off, no biggie. Then dad tells us about all of this happening and it was like, maybe she's trying to buy into our good graces to patch things up with dad. We let it slide. Dad moved in with my brother and *started talking to his old girlfriend, Jane. He tells me that she is moving back. I ask from where and he says ___________. Which just happens to be the same state that Sally called the woman who said her name was Flo in.
Then night before last I came home to find more boxes of stuff on my porch. I figured it came from Sally. She called me this morning and I told her I appreciated all of the stuff. She was talking about how she was glad to do it. Then all of a sudden she says:
"I have a secret that is going to blow your family apart"
"oh really," (I had no idea what to say to that announcement.)
"If you can tell me a name, I can tell you the secret"
"Sally, I'm sorry, but I don't know what you're talking about" (I did, but that's dad's business, not hers)
"Someone named Flo your daddy dated 3 years ago"
"Sally I don't remember my dad every dating someone name Flo, I have an aunt Flo (no pun intended) but that is all" (which is all true)
Then she says, "Well, she's moving back"
I don't care. My dad is 54 years old, he can do what he wants to. My problem is this, do I tell dad what she did? The questions I mean. Knowing him he would probably call her and tell her to keep her nose out of his business. Only his speech would be alot more colorful than mine. And I worry that she might then say, "he called me." I dunno, I am so torn on what to do
*I believe that dad was talking to this woman all along and that when Sally called the number Jane answered and said that her name was FLo.
I wouldn't touch this with a 10 foot pole. I wouldn't mention at all to your dad what she told you and let those two hash it out. Furthermore, I think that if she tries to talk to you in the future, I would tell her that your really not interested in what is going on between her and your dad and tell her she is going to need to talk to him for any information she might want or feels she needs. I would just keep my nose out of it all together. No good can come from knowing any of this!!
I agree with Vicki here. Don't get yourself involved.
I also agree. Your dad is an adult, Sally is an adult, Jane is an adult and Flo (if she exists) is an adult. It is their business - especially your dad's - and I would certainly stay out of it.
I agree with Vicki on this one.I wouldn't get involved. The less you know the better off you will be.
JMHO
Another vote for staying out of it. It's his to sort out.
Stay out of it!
Add me to the *stay out of it* club!
I'm going to have to join the *stay out of it* club. I can speak from experience, no good will come of this.
Agreed, mind your own back yard....
Another vote for "stay out of it". It's not your problem. I also agree that you should tell Sally this is between her and your dad and you do not want to be involved.
That is mostly the way I was leaning, but it has been taken out of my hands. Sally called my mother (can you believe this woman) after she hung up with me. She asked Mom who Flo was. Mom told her that she had remarried years ago and what Dad did was his business and she wasn't in it. But then she called dad and told him that Sally had called her and what was said. Long story short, he knows the whole deal now, so it really doesn't matter. I've already decided that if she calls back I am just going to tell her that whatever is going on between her and Dad needs to stay between them. Leave me out of it!!!!
Thanks ladies.
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