Ok, maybe its just me feeling guilty..I have a couple of friends, who have offered to watch my kids while me and dh go out...And, all 3 of these people are people I would totally trust with my kids.Ive never been good about excepting help like that. I did leave the baby with my friend/neighbor when we went to the wedding. I let Faith stay with them just for the Church service, then we came back and got her and took her to the reception..Faith did perfectly fine there. But the truth is, since myhusband works ft and goes to school 4 nights a week. Usually on the weekends, he is always doing stuff he has been neglecting due to school, like hes installing a new ac unit in our house. Its such a big project, he onlygets a few hrs to work on it each weekend. I like to go out as a family and do stuff, but it seems like I get a little mad as my husband is always rushing to get back home to finish his projects, plus then he has to find time to do homework..
My problem is I would love to take my 2 older kids to the movies, or to the mall. Faith is NOT good out. WhatI mean is, she cries in the car, if shes not asleep. She doesnt stay in her stroller for more then 10 minutes without crying. She is a baby who LIKES to be held ALL THE TIME. Shes almost 13 pounds now, and that gets heavy after awhile.
So my question is, would I seem like a horrible mother if I asked a friend to just watch the baby while I took my 2 older kids to the movies and let my husband stay home working on the ac unit or his homework? I do usually go out and leave baby with him, but when I do that, he cant do anything else. He never complains about it directly, he loves her and enjoys the time with her.But, then I hear how the ac unit isnt installed yet, and that also runs our heat, and how he needs to get it in etc.. This is a big project..
I feel guilty asking a neighbor or friend to watch the baby, while my husband is at home, yet, I feel guilty I cant spend the quality time with my older 2 kids either. We did so much in the summer while I was pregnant,movies, trips to the mall, to a local farm..Its just so hard to do with Faith as its tiring carrying her around .
what to do, what to do ???

By Happynerdmom on Thursday, October 28, 2004 - 08:42 am:

Get the sitter!! Your older dks deserve some quality time with you, without the baby around. It sounds like your dh has a full plate, and he would appreciate the work time. STOP FEELING SO GUILTY!! It is good for the baby to be around people other than you sometimes, and the friend would certainly understand that you would like some quality time with the other two dks. Ease up on yourself, and GO HAVE SOME FUN! ((hugs))

By Ilovetom on Thursday, October 28, 2004 - 09:02 am:

I think- that's what friends are for.

Go and enjoy.

By Vicki on Thursday, October 28, 2004 - 09:18 am:

I can see why you would would feel the way that you do if your dh would just be sitting around the house watching football or something, but for goodness sake, you guys have to have heat!! And he has to have time for homework etc.!! I am just guessing here, but I bet your friends would just love to have a little baby at their house for awhile! I know that I would!! Go and have fun with your older kids. I bet they would love to have the time with you again!!

By Tunnia on Thursday, October 28, 2004 - 09:27 am:

Ask your friends to watch her. I'm sure they would love to watch Faith. I know I love to watch my friend's babies. I get my baby fix that way. They will understand that your dh needs the time to get the unit in before cold weather gets here. If they have offered in the past then don't feel guilty about asking them now!

By My2cuties on Thursday, October 28, 2004 - 09:36 am:

I agree with everyone else get the sitter and don't feel guilty. I am sure they would understand, and you do need to spend time with the older dks. Hope everything works out great for you and you have a good time out with dks.

By Unschoolmom on Thursday, October 28, 2004 - 09:41 am:

I wouldn't hesitate to ask someone to care for the baby!

On another note though - Here are a couple of sites to help with your baby. I had one that needed to be held all the time too. I just got really strong arm muscles but wish I'd seen these sites, the first in particular. You can carry your baby around ("wear your baby") without all the pain. The first site shows you how to make different slings, the second is a retail site for a wrap I keep hearing moms endorse.

www.mamatoto.org
www.mayawrap.com

By Karen~moderator on Thursday, October 28, 2004 - 11:18 am:

DITTO MICHELE!

By Emily7 on Thursday, October 28, 2004 - 11:21 am:

I would ask a friend to watch her.

By Nicosmom on Thursday, October 28, 2004 - 01:48 pm:

Go for it! Trust me, homework cannot be done with a baby in the house. I can't even do mine while my 3 year old is awake. I'm sure your friends would jump at the chance to watch the baby.

By Andi on Thursday, October 28, 2004 - 02:11 pm:

GET A SITTER!!!

We have already left Taylor and DYlan with a sitter so we could go to dinner and on a different night we had a meeting at DS school.

We plan onleaving Taylor with a sitter so we can take DS son to see the Sponge Bob moving in November. I say GO FOR IT.

As for the holding part...I use the Platex Deluxe Hammock to carry Taylor around in and she loves it. It 's easy on my back and she falls asleep in it all the time. She is 15 pounds and it really help me out when I shop or need to get stuff done around the house.

By Eight_Kids on Thursday, October 28, 2004 - 02:15 pm:

I'm with everyone else....GET THE SITTER!!! It's in everyone's best interest!!!! The therapist would tell you the same. Trust me! My DH is a really big baby person. (after they turn 2 it's time to have another one....that's why we got HIM fixed!!) My step-daughter has a friend who has an 18 month old and DH LOVES to babysit! Go for it!!And have a wonderful time with the other kids knowing that she is taken care of!!

By Amecmom on Thursday, October 28, 2004 - 05:52 pm:

Get the sitter! Also, bring the stroller in the house and put her in it for 10 min at a time, then increase the amount of time she's in it. Is your carseat a carrier as well? Then bring that in also and let her get used to i, also.
Hopefully you can let her adjust to these things while you are home. Then when you are out, they won't be such a strange thing to her.
Helen sleeps in her carseat/carrier for naps during the day.
Ame

By Dawnk777 on Thursday, October 28, 2004 - 08:21 pm:

Go, enjoy the time with your older kids. They would love it and so would you!

By Missmudd on Thursday, October 28, 2004 - 09:58 pm:

Me too, get the sitter, find a freind who misses the baby thing, enjoy the movie. And if you are feeling super guilty, bring Faith over to your friend at nap time if she is a good napper, that way you dont even have to worry if she is fussing or not.

By Imamommyx4 on Thursday, October 28, 2004 - 10:10 pm:

Or does one of your friends have a baby about the same age? DD has always liked to play and have other dks around. Your dh gets to do his thing, you and older dks have fun at the movies, and baby has fun with a friend. Everybody wins. No guilt.

By Imamommyx4 on Thursday, October 28, 2004 - 10:11 pm:

And besides, you said 'they offered'.

By Dawnk777 on Thursday, October 28, 2004 - 11:24 pm:

I could be the friend who needs a baby fix! LOL!