This is part question and part vent.

Do your dk's schools allow anything for Halloween? I remember having a huge party, dressing up in our costumes and the whole school would have a costume contest and a parade down one street in the town. Here's the vent part- My dk's do not get to have the fun that I remember as a child. My ds's school doesn't celebrate at all. We are not even allowed to send in a piece of candy, cookies, or goodie bags - nada. A note has already been sent home that if a child comes to school in a costume the parents will be called to come pick the child up. Isn't this a bit much??? My dd's school also doesn't allow any costumes or parties, but it is up to each teacher to decide if they will allow goodie bags or treats. Some allow it and some don't, but absolutely no parties of any kind. How sad for the children that everything has to be so PC.

By Marcia on Wednesday, October 27, 2004 - 07:57 pm:

Our classes all have some sort of party. It's up to the teacher if they wear costumes or not, and many opt for just black and orange. They don't want any child to feel left out, and they don't want to wreck their costumes. They do have treats and a fun afternoon.

By Ilovetom on Wednesday, October 27, 2004 - 07:58 pm:

I have my own preschool and we are dressing up and going downtown trick or treating.....on the other hand....my own childrens school has changed our *Halloween carnival* to a *Fall Festival*. Sigh.

By Missmudd on Wednesday, October 27, 2004 - 08:05 pm:

I moved to small town america 7 years ago and never looked back. Our school has a pumpkin parade and a halloween party for the last hour of the day every year. Imagine my suprise the first year from moving from Portland that not only did we not have a "winter festival" we actually had a christmas pageant and they actually sang a song about Jesus. And this is a public school. I think if the supreme court decides "under God" is unconstitutional you would never know it here.

By Tink on Wednesday, October 27, 2004 - 08:08 pm:

None of the schools here allow costumes or Halloween Parties but most teachers are getting around it by having a "Pumpkin Party" or "Harvest Party" on the Friday before. Personally, I understand the costume issue. While I do allow my dks to dress up and trick or treat, a huge amount of families in this area do not. I wouldn't want these kids to be left out or have to come up with a costume just for a school parade.

By Colette on Wednesday, October 27, 2004 - 08:21 pm:

The preschool lets the kids come in costume and we are having a halloween party. The other grades in the school all have a halloween party but no costumes allowed. Friday night, the pto and some of the teachers go to the school and set up a Haunted House for the kids to walk through.

By Kaye on Wednesday, October 27, 2004 - 09:15 pm:

My first grader is having pumpkinology class on Friday. They will gut a pumpkin, count seeds, etc. He can't wait!

By Dawnk777 on Wednesday, October 27, 2004 - 09:20 pm:

The elementary school where my kids went didn't allow costumes. One year, my daughter got to go bowling as an end of the quarter "good-behavior" reward. It happened to be at the end of October and moms brought treats. Of course, everyone brought Halloweenie-type treats. So, it was sort of a Halloween party, but not really called that.

My friend has a daughter who goes to a private Catholic school. They get to wear costumes, have a parade around the block wearing their costumes and I imagine have some kind of party. I can't remember now.

By Mommmie on Wednesday, October 27, 2004 - 09:58 pm:

The public school my son used to go to had a Dress Up As Your Favorite Story Book Character and a little Fall Party.

At his private school (non-religious) they are having a Halloween party but they wear school uniforms so no costumes. In honor of Halloween they are allowed to wear a school t-shirt rather than the button down shirt - with their khaki pants. And no parents or sibs are allowed at any of the classroom parties.

At the public school there were quite a few families who either didn't observe Halloween or didn't allow sweets/candy and most of those kids didn't come to school that day.

By Cybermommyx4 on Wednesday, October 27, 2004 - 10:19 pm:

"Autumn Celebration" party on Friday, LOL!

By Tunnia on Thursday, October 28, 2004 - 09:44 am:

I guess I'm just bummed about my dks not getting the experiences that I really enjoyed as a child. I'm glad that some areas still allow Halloween.

Maybe we should move back to a small town like the one I grew up in. It was a small farming community with the main business being the CoOp. My dh has always said he wished he could be a farmer. I just smile when he says that because I come from a family of farmers and it's a lot harder than my city boy thinks.

By Amy~moderator on Thursday, October 28, 2004 - 09:46 am:

"Fall Fest" at my ds's school also - today as a matter of fact.

By Kernkate on Thursday, October 28, 2004 - 10:09 am:

My DS will have a Halloween party tomorrow in school {public school}they do dress up and all the parents send goodies in.

By Debbie on Thursday, October 28, 2004 - 10:32 am:

Both my dks go to a catholic school. My ds, who is in preschool, is having a party tomorrow and they are dressing up. He is so excited. Now, my oldest is in 1st grade. They have been doing lots of activities relating to Halloween, but they are not having a party. They did get to dress in orange and black yesterday for spirit day instead of wearing their uniforms. Now, they are having a big Halloween festival at school on Sat. night. The 8th graders are making a haunted house. They will have food, candy, games, etc. They will have a costume contest and a pumpkin carving contest.

By Melanie on Thursday, October 28, 2004 - 10:36 am:

Our kids are each having a Halloween party in their class on Friday. On Saturday there is a Halloween Festival. Since the 6th graders are away at science camp this week, our annual Halloween parade is on Monday instead of Friday. All the kids wear their costumes and they do a big parade around the school. It's lots of fun and the kids always look forward to it.

I would be bummed if their school didn't do anything.

By Vicki on Thursday, October 28, 2004 - 10:42 am:

Our school has the Halloween parties in the classrooms on Friday. They did send home a letter that no masks are allowed, how ever you can use face paint. No blood and gore etc. But they can dress up and the party will be in the afternoon with a snack, game, craft and of course treat bags! The kids just love the parties and I think it is sad that some kids don't get to have one.

By Sue3 on Thursday, October 28, 2004 - 11:54 am:

2 of my dk`s party`s are today.It is a first for my youngest in 2nd grade because they do not allow party or treats in k-1st grade.(go figure)
though the younger one`s do get a fall fest
which was last week.
The middle schoolers don`t get one.They stop in 6th grade.
Last year was tough for ds (my youngest) because his sisters BOTH got a class room party and he didn`t because of the younger elementary grade`s rule`s.

By Amecmom on Thursday, October 28, 2004 - 01:27 pm:

My son's preschool has a costume parade. When I taught in Elementary school in NYC, we had the March of Dimes walk-athon that day, so the kids dressed up in their Halloween costumes and did the walk around the block a few times. It was like a parade.

Ame

By Nicosmom on Thursday, October 28, 2004 - 01:34 pm:

Last Friday my ds's pre-school had a Harvest Festival as well. We missed it b/c we went to L.A. for the weekend.

By Fraggle on Thursday, October 28, 2004 - 01:43 pm:

Our school does not allow Halloween costumes. To be honest, I don't remember if I ever dressed up in a costume for school when I was a kid (and I lived next door to a town very famous for its Halloween celebration-Salem, Mass.). So, I'm not too worried about my dd missing out on anything. There are lots of things going on in our community for Halloween, though.

By Mommmie on Thursday, October 28, 2004 - 01:55 pm:

Yea, I guess that's why it's no big deal to me what they do for Halloween. Growing up we never dressed up in costumes for it and now I have a son who has never had any interest in wearing a costume, so it doesn't matter to me. Parents are not allowed at the school parties anyway.

My son goes trick or treating in street clothes.

By Trisa on Thursday, October 28, 2004 - 04:45 pm:

Not here in the Amish country!
People are not into Halloween here as much.
Alot of the churches have harvest night.
They will have hay rides and stuff like that to do. My son has always loved to do that instead of tricker treating anyway.

By Lauram on Friday, October 29, 2004 - 12:24 pm:

Just wanted to add a different perspective. It might not be a popular one, but it's my experience. I'm an elementary school teacher. I've worked in all different kinds of schools which allow various amounts of celebration around Halloween. I've also had a Jehovah's Witness in my class (do not celebrate Halloween or birthdays).

It is very disruptive to have parties and parades. The kids are WILD and some get very out of control. The parties can get wild too. Even if the parents organize it, they rarely clean up. I don't know a teacher who hasn't had to clean their classroom before they leave because it was left in such a mess. The amount of junk they eat is insane, not to mention that they are about to go trick-or-treating. The day after Halloween, the kids are tired and cranky.

School is a place of learning- not a camp. Teachers are educators not party coordinators. That may sound harsh, but it is true. I am usually so exhausted by Halloween in school that I want nothing to do with it when I get home. I've actually never even taken my own child (now age 7) trick-or-treating (dh does it) because I'm so tired of Halloween by the evening!

With that said, if you don't like what your school offers, have your own party! If you like the preparation and clean up- have fun with it. If that's not your thing, then don't complain if it's not the teacher's/school's thing either!

BTW- I am writing this while wearing a witch's hat.....

By Vicki on Friday, October 29, 2004 - 12:57 pm:

Lauram, while I respect your opinion, I really think it is sad to feel that way. Sure, school is a place of learning, but I also feel that little kids are made to grow up so fast these days that how can one hour of all out fun be bad for them? Today at 2:15 is my dd's class Halloween party. Today, she also has a Spelling test, a Social Studies test and a Math quiz. School does not stop here because of a party. She has a full day of work before the party. Also, the PTA and room parents do all of the party prep and also have at least 5 parents there per class to actually run the party. Sure, there might be some food crumbs on the floor after the party, but doesn't your school have janitors that clean the classrooms at night?? We have 2 parties a year (Halloween and Valentines) and I just don't see how that does any harm in the school year. We might have a 3rd party (Christmas) if the teacher asks us to do one. Some teachers do something special the last day of school before break and some ask the room parents to do a party. For as much hard work as the kids do, I just can't see a little party being bad!!

By Kristie on Friday, October 29, 2004 - 02:56 pm:

My DS class gets a Halloween party. I made 24 cup cakes, cut up a watermellon, and carved a pumkin last night so I could take it all in this morning!! The only other parent helping out made a veggie tray and little bags with 3 pieces of candy and little dollar store toys in them. We are the only parents that helped, and normally always are. After the last recess the kids get to put their costumes on and the 3rd graders are gonna read them "spooky" stories while they eat their yummy snacks that aren't that bad for them. They got to frost and decorate the cup cakes this morning after first recess. Bet the teacher had fun with 16 5 yr olds and frosting, gummy worms, and candy sprinkles. The kids have been looking forward to this for awhile now and I am glad that they have parties at ds school.

By Lauram on Friday, October 29, 2004 - 03:16 pm:

Well, parties don't last 1/2 hour or 45 min. Kids get hyped up about them for weeks. The younger they are- the more their behavior is effected. I just helped out in my ds' room since I don't have a classroom this year. It is trashed. The amount of food served was disgusting. I will probably sneak in and help her clean up- every table is covered with frosting and other sticky yuck. The floor has cupcake mashed into the carpet. I'm exhausted from trying to focus my math support kids all week, but I certainly don't want the custodians to have to deal with the mess! That is not what we teach the kids at all! I doubt other parents will be helping her clean up either. I find the whole thing very depressing- the lack of respect, the decadence, and the out of control behavior. It really takes the "fun" out of it for me. Luckily, Halloween isn't until Sunday. Maybe this year I'll be up for trick-or-treating....

I should also mention that as a parent I would prefer a much more down-scaled version of this. My own son has a VERY difficult time with all of the increased activity levels.

My feelings on this issue started way before that became a problem for him though.

Maybe I should get the custodians a gift certificate.....

By Kellyj on Friday, October 29, 2004 - 03:36 pm:

My dd had her first Halloween party at daycare today. I hope that when she goes to school that she can continue to have these parties. Many of my memories from elementary school are of the fun things, like the holiday parades, school concerts, recess time etc... When I think about elementary school I remember those times, not my teacher droning on about how to spell cat. If we take away all of the fun, what will kids look back fondly on?

I think that schools need to remember that kids are kids, not mini-adults. They get excited, they make messes and we all did it when we were that age. However, the parents/teachers overseeing the party need to find ways to keep the parties from developing into total chaos.

Laura it really stinks that you get stuck with such a mess. What rude parents. I think that you should be allowed to place limitations on the amount of snacks and the activities.

By Tunnia on Friday, October 29, 2004 - 03:40 pm:

I appreciate your different POV, Lauram. I think it is sad that the Halloween celebrations at your school are so horrible for you that you miss out on the fun of it all (not to mention missing out on the fun with your own child). I agree that the teachers are educators and not party coordinators. The parents really should be doing all of the party planning, setup, running, and clean up for you so that you have nothing to do except enjoy watching "your" kids have a good time. Schools ARE places of learning and not camp, but it's stuff like this that children's school memories are made of, not math quizes or spelling tests!

You are right that it is disruptive to the teacher's schedule and yes, the kids do get wild, but this is a special occasion, not an every day occurance so I think concessions should be made. I help out in my children's classes and I spent two hours in my dd's class this morning and let me tell you, even without a Halloween party, those kids were wild today because of the anticipation of Halloween this weekend. They were constantly talking, out of their seats, laughing, etc. I have been there every week since the beginning of school and I know these children well and today was very atypical for this usually calm, quiet class. I guess I'm just trying to say, party or not, Halloween is still disrupting my dd's teacher's schedule.

Some years I do have Halloween parties. I hold them for all the children in my neighborhood (abt. 850 homes). The last one had just over 150 children. It was a blast!

Again, I am sorry that Halloween has been awful for you, but since you are already wearing a witch hat, you might as well go trick-or-treating with your ds.

By Paulas on Saturday, October 30, 2004 - 01:24 pm:

I am a teacher at a CATHOLIC SCHOOL. I teach 1/2 day Kindergarten. On Friday morning we had regular work until 10 am. I asked parents to SEND the costume to school rather than have the child dress up because it allows me SOME instructional time. We did our calendar time, morning exercises (involving cross overs to activate both sides of the brain), some group reading, a halloween math activity and a nutrition quiz. Then, we dressed up in our costumes. I asked half the class to being in snacks. I had cheese, crackers, homemade cookies, pickles and a homemade pinata. We did a costume parade around the school, came back to class and watched Franklin's Halloween while we ate our snack. We had planned on playing some games but we ran out of time.

I don't think allowing children to have a party for 1 1/2 hours a few times of year will affect their education in any way. The children are aware that it is Halloween and would be so disappointed that they would not be able to focus anyway.

I'm not a particular fan of Halloween for two reasons:

1. We spend all year telling kids not to take candy for strangers and then send them out once a year to do that very thing

2. Too much candy

However, I agree with a comment that we are expecting children to grow up too quickly and they need time to just be kids so I put my reservations aside and let them have fun.

By Amecmom on Saturday, October 30, 2004 - 03:40 pm:

As an educator who threw my share of parties before being a SAHM, I can say that parties do serve an educational purpose. You are teaching these children social skills that they cannot learn at home. Parties were always fun, and a chance for me to see a different side of my students. The students are able to interact on a purely social level.

It is up to the teacher to decide how much food is served. I used to collect a dollar to a dollar fifty from each student. I would order the pizza, have a few bags of snacks and some drinks. Parent volunteers would come in and help serve ( in the younger grades) and help clean up. We played games and danced.

It was a nice way to celebrate a holiday.
Ame