Okay, DD is eight and in third grade. She switches classes, but has the same teacher for three subjects. This woman NEVER praises the kids for good work or even sticks a sticker on the tests that get 100% or makes a smiley face or anything. However, if you make a mistake, she comments! My DD made a mistake on homework and the teacher wrote: 'we did this in class, pay attention!' I thought that was a bit harsh! I'm sure they DID do it in class, but she takes like seven classes, so it's totally understandable she might not remember every single thing taught to her each and every day! Isn't that what the homework is FOR? To see just how well the kids are 'getting it' and to see where more work or explanation is needed? Twice I have written her notes with questions I had and she has not once written me back, nor called me, nor brung it up when seeing her in person. Why does she think I WRITE these notes?? We have a specific folder for teacher/parent communication, but apparently it's one way communication!

Last week my DD got a 'disciplinary note' sent home. It said something about her having to ask my DD TWICE to put her math book away and pay attention. It didn't say that this was a constant issue or her third offense or anything like that. So I'm assuming it's a first offense, and my DD confirms this. Okay, I do wish she'd listen the first time around, but is it SO horrible that she had to ask her twice?? DD was trying to quick finish something up in the math book, she wasn't playing or fooling around! I just think she's very quick to scold and doesn't ever praise.

Today she got two points taken off her test with the comment 'follow directions'. Her crime? It was multiple choice, a, b, c, and d answers. DD circled the 'a' or whatever, and then colored that circle in. Does that warrant that kind of punishment?? Her answer was perfectly clear and if the teacher is super fussy about how she put down her answer, can't she just TELL DD this?? Must we mark her off for a first offense??

I'm just depressed that she has her for three subjects, plus homeroom, and she's a very no nonsense, brisk, strict teacher. The others are so warm and fuzzy. I'm not saying has to fawn over her, but I do think positive reinforcement works wonders and I think grades of 100 should get SOME sort of kudos. Am I expecting too much?

By Kate on Monday, October 25, 2004 - 04:33 pm:

Ooops, I didn't make the test part clear. The directions were to circle the correct answer. DD circled the 'a' or whatever, and then colored that cirlce in.

By Colette on Monday, October 25, 2004 - 04:55 pm:

I had this problem last year. Ds's teacher kept writing comments like "YOU read this much??!!!" I was LIVID (ds reads at least one if not 2 books per night). I kept every single paper and I went to the principal with them and told him that this was a huge problem, he told the teacher (I am friends with another teacher in the bldg and she told me) that snide comments would not be tolerated and apparently she got in some pretty serious trouble with him over it.

Save everything.

By Vicki on Monday, October 25, 2004 - 08:28 pm:

Kate, I know it can be so hard and you have every right to feel the way that you do, but let me tell you another side of the story. My dd is now in the 4th grade. He had the most wonderful, caring devoted teacher for the past 2 years. She had her in 2nd grade and dd was in such a wonderful class, that this teacher asked if she could "loop" with them. It was a remarkable group of kids in that class and she had to take summer classes and everything to move up with them. So, she had this teacher for 2nd and 3rd grade. So fast forward to 4th.... things are So strict this year that dd had a little but of a hard time adjusting to it. EVERYTHING they do is graded and the little remarks are on there too. Now, dd is a very good student and will probably get all A's (maybe one B) on her report card next Friday and SHE even gets these little smart remarks on her papers!! I always think, jeeesh..no one is perfect all of the time!! Dd seems to deal with it better than I do. LOL They do not coddle or hand hold at all in 4th grade. You don't turn in homework, it is automatically 10 points less and due the next day...don't turn it in that day and it is a zero and you have to stay in from recess until it is done and it is still a 0!! Now, this doesn't effect dd because I pretty much help keep her on the ball, but I do always wonder about the kids that don't have parents as involved as I am!! If she did something like your dd did with the circles, they would have ALL been marked wrong!! There was a question on a quiz a couple weeks ago where they were using a map scale and measuring distances....The question said, How many miles is it from: and below that had 5 different places to measure the distance...my dd missed all 5! Not because she didn't have the correct number of miles, but because she didn't write the word miles after her answer! She asked me, why would I have to write miles, that is what the question was!! I agreed with her but told her that apparently the teacher wants it on there. I have to bite my tongue all the time not to complain about the teachers in front of her!!

I guess what I am trying to say is maybe look at this as a good thing. I something wish that her teacher last year would have done a little more to prepare them for 4th grade and the expectations of it. Think of it as only one teacher out of 4!! You will always have at least one strict teacher and now your dd is at least prepared for that!!

By Kate on Monday, October 25, 2004 - 08:50 pm:

Wow, Vicki, we're in similar situations!! My DD's class was looped for first and second at the teacher's request! It was all a remarkable group of kids and just a great two years! And fortunately the rest of the teachers are kind and loving like her former teacher, but I just don't know what's up with THIS teacher! What's the big deal about third or fourth grade anyway? It's not high school! And my DD gets all A's too, and is NOT a discipline problem at all. Sigh... And I've not been as successful as you have about not discussing the teacher negatively in front of DD. But I felt I HAD to defend DD in some way and explain that while I didn't AGREE with her teacher or her comments, she IS her teacher and she has to try and 'toe the line' with this one. I told her to just do her best to do things exactly as asked and if she makes a mistake it's OKAY. But I am very frustrated with the rigidity of this woman!

Colette, I have saved everything!

By Yjja123 on Monday, October 25, 2004 - 09:22 pm:

Personally I wouldn't let it go too far without intervening. I have been there done that and regret not taking a stronger stand. My daughters 3rd grade teacher put unhappy faces on anything below a 100. She always wrote comments that were degrading and made my daughter feel less than. This is a child that was on the honor roll ALL year! We continued to build her up at home while the teacher broke her down in school. It left my daughter doubting her abilities and even caused her to have asthma attacks (brought on by stress). She failed the PRE FCAT and was in danger of failing the year (despite being a straight A student) and we feel a large part of her downfall was from her drill sergeant teacher. We pulled her from public school. She now is doing work a full grade level above what she would be doing in public school. She had the ability and with encouragement and POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT she does great! Please keep an eye on things and definitely keep everything.
I wish you the best!
Yvonne

By Trina~moderator on Monday, October 25, 2004 - 10:02 pm:

Yikes! I don't like the sound of this teacher either. My DS is in Gr. 3 and thankfully his teacher is very positive thus far. I used to teach Third Grade myself, and I simply didn't believe in degrading or humiliating students. The teacher next door to me was like that though, and after a few years he didn't receive a contract renewal. I agree with the others. Keep everything and don't let this slide by.

By Pamt on Monday, October 25, 2004 - 10:45 pm:

Ditto everyone else. Noah's first grade teacher was like this last year. "Listen to directions"--"Please write neatly"--etc. on most papers, his clothespin for behavior was getting moved frequently because he wasn't causing a disturbance, but *she knew we would expect more from him*. She taught at our church's school and it was like she expected him to be a perfect angel because he was a minister's kid and put higher expectations on him. We had to call her on it. Handwriting was an issue for him. He could write fine, but tended to be in a hurry. One day he did a paper in class that was beautiful and there was no comment on it; she was always careful to comment on the sloppy ones. I sent it back to school with a note that I would appreciate her commenting to him about his nice handwriting since as a teacher her comments had more of an effect than mine and she obliged. BUT, everything was a struggle with her.

She also put him in the middle reading group which was where he needed to be. However, about halfway through the year he really got into reading and was reading well above grade level. I asked her about switching his reading group and she didn't think he could handle it. AARRGGHH! In 2nd grade kids are either in on-track (grade level) or honors (one grade above) reading classes and Noah was put in Honors. We just had his first 9 weeks conference and he had a 100 in reading.

All of last year was a struggle for us, but Noah seemed to take it all in stride. I would keep paper and maybe schedule a conference and get her to work on noticing the positives. How is your DD feeling about all of this?