I have to say, I learned a whole lot by reading everybodys responses, expecially Bobbies post..Bobbie, you really hit home hard about what you wrote. I have thought alot about how true the statments were in my life. For example,my husband does work fulltime, and decided to go to school at night to get an advanced computer degree, as he realized his regular college degree got him no where.. I bitched and complained about it, mostly as he started back to school 6 days after the baby was born.. I was more worried about myself, and how hard it would be for me, then to realize hes doing it for all of us. He is doing this because Iam a SAHM , and he is just trying to better our income and provide more for me and the 3 kids..I was feeling sorry for myself, the "poor me", without realizing what he was going through. Working all day, and then going to school for hrs in the evening..I have the advantage, I get to be with my 3 kids during the day, and knows he misses out on so much.
The other thing that hit home is, that I kept too many of the "problems" in my head, and that grew resentment on my part.. Just this week(since reading the posts)Ive started talking to him about the "problems"(They werent big ones, just day to day stuff etc.."and just by saying them out loud and hearing his response I feel like a weight was lifted..
Anyways, just wanted to thank Bobbie for all her words of wisdom..Im not good at change, but I did realize a couple of things Im working on since reading her response.

By Boxzgrl on Thursday, October 21, 2004 - 09:44 am:

Bobbie seems to always have good words of advice and helped me look on the brighter side of things when they werent so great for me either.

Jackie, you cant just thank Bobbie either. It was you who was willing to do the changing after reading Bobbies advice. So thats great that you realized the problem and fixed it before it escalated. (((HUGS))) to you. A BTW, how are all the kiddos?

By Bobbie~moderatr on Friday, October 22, 2004 - 12:46 am:

Aww, Thanks Jackie. I am glad all my rambling is worth something. LOL Anyway, It all starts with you. You make you happy or upset. It is how you choose to look at and deal with things. And Mellisa is right it was you, it is always you. If life gets to deep you can either sink in it or you can roll back your sleeves and start shoveling. We would all do good to learn how to look outside of ourselves every once in a while and be thankful. We get to caught up in our own heads that we forget that we aren't truly in this life alone and that other people in our lives are being effected by issues just like we are. Especially when it comes to our spouses.. We expect them to for go all their worries/ husbandly duties and take the time to read our minds. Just not the way their minds work, so they need pushes and they need things spelled out. But if it means some form of contentment for us we need to learn to not only talk but express ourselves clearly. Men are too Black and White about life and we are shades of gray.

Really ought to just go get my degree and buy a couch and a shingle. No seriously.. Thanks and best wishes. And it gets easier with time, like they say the first steps are always the hardest..

By Feona on Friday, October 22, 2004 - 06:03 am:

She has very good advice doesn't she? I alway have to try to see the grey in the situation. I can sort of do it now I am older and in a sort of relaxed situation. When I was younger I saw everything as black and white..