Here is the short version of the story -

My family adopted two dogs from a woman about two months ago (there were two dogs and my parents took one and we took one). The woman who we adopted them from is, to put it bluntly, a little nuts. She called every day for a week and a half and then quit calling when a dog breeder she knows told her that she needed to let the dogs go and stop contact. Well, we haven't heard from her in quite a while and then, out of the blue, she calls my Mom and tells her that she and her dd (who is a teenager) want to come and get both dogs and take them with them for a day. She wants to take both dogs out of our homes and away from us for a day!!! We are not happy about this and do not think this is in the best interest of the dogs. They have adjusted very well to living in our homes and are happy. When we were talking with her about adopting her dogs she at first asked if she and her dd could come to our houses and see the dogs on occasion. We said "ok" to that. Then she called back the day before we were to pick them up and asked if she and her dd could come and get the dogs for an afternoon on occasion. At first I told her that I wasn't comfortable with that and I would have to speak to my parents first. So my parents and I talked about it and decided that we didn't really like the idea, but if we said no then she wouldn't give us the dogs and maybe it would be ok once or twice. Well, now we are certain that it isn't a good idea at all. Wouldn't it cause some confusion in our dogs to be taken away from us by their previous owners? We are also worried that she may come pick them up and not bring them back. What is in the best interest of the dogs at this point. To let them go or not? To let them come and see them or not? When my Mom told her that she didn't think it was a good idea for them to take the dogs for a day at this point the woman got a little aggitated and reminded her that we said she could before she gave the dogs to us. I don't know why this woman can't just let go. I have to call her back tonight and give her our answer so I would really appreciate some quick advice on whether or not we should let the dogs go and why you think we should or should not. TIA!!!

By Angellew on Wednesday, October 13, 2004 - 04:16 pm:

I think that's terrible for you and the dogs. Just as their "period of adjustment" to you is over and they feel comfortable, she comes back and confuses them. I would most definitely say "no way"!

Not to mention, if you let her do this once, she's going to keep asking, and she'll never detach from them. I would remind her about the advise she herself got from the dog breeder about letting go. They are not hers anymore, and she really needs to let them bond with their new family!

Good luck.

By Christylee on Wednesday, October 13, 2004 - 04:22 pm:

I don't think I would let them go either, how wierd is she... I'd do as Angela said and remind her of the advice from the breeder and just stop having contact with her. Did she get this in writing? These visitations? If not she doesn't have a leg to stand on, I'd stop answering my phone when it's her and not answer my door to her. If she wasn't prepared to "separate" from them she shouldn't have adopted them out, she did and now it's up to her not you to deal with her getting past it.

By Emily7 on Wednesday, October 13, 2004 - 04:34 pm:

Don't laugh...but I saw a case similar on Judge Judy once. The woman came, got the dogs & did not bring them back. She thought she had the right to change her mind & felt the dogs were still hers.
I would let her know that you are not interested in hearing from her again. If she continues to call I would explain what harassment means.

By Melana on Wednesday, October 13, 2004 - 04:56 pm:

Ditto on what every one else has said.

By Tunnia on Wednesday, October 13, 2004 - 05:08 pm:

Thank you all so much! I don't want to be ugly to her and I do think that I am going to tell her, nicely, if possible, that we don't think it is in the best interests of the dogs and we are going to go on the advice of the breeder even though we agreed (verbally) to the visitations before we adopted the dogs and hope that she will let it go. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but we are not just keeping these dogs for her, they are part of our families now and we love them.

Boy, I am NOT looking forward to making that phone call! I just hope she doesn't spaz out on me for going back on the verbal agreement.

By Dawnk777 on Wednesday, October 13, 2004 - 05:50 pm:

I'd be worried that she wouldn't bring them back! Sheesh!

By Marg on Wednesday, October 13, 2004 - 05:58 pm:

Don't answer the phone and stay away from her;)

Did you purchase the dogs? Any paperwork?

I wouldn't trust her either. If she wants to come see the dogs in your yard at your home, yes, but it will confuse the dog

By Ginny~moderator on Wednesday, October 13, 2004 - 06:55 pm:

They are your dogs, not hers. She has no choice whether to give them to you. She gave them to you two months ago.

If it were me, I'd say no on the principal that it would be confusing to the dogs and they wouldn't know who was their owner. You can, if you want to, refer her to the breeder who gave you the advice.

And don't let the dogs out in the yard without someone watching them for some time to come. Think about putting a lock on your gates.

By Melanie on Wednesday, October 13, 2004 - 07:49 pm:

I completely agree with everyone else. How did the phone call go?

By Tunnia on Thursday, October 14, 2004 - 08:22 am:

The call went ok. I told her that "we didn't think that it was in the best interests of the dogs for her to take them away from us and that it might confuse them". She then reminded me that we had said before we took the dogs that we would allow her to take them from time to time and I told her that "when we made that agreement we didn't realize that it could be bad for the dogs" and I told her that "I am sure that she wants what is best for the dogs like we do". At that point she sounded a little upset and she said that her dd needed to see the dogs again to have closure (her dd refused to be there when we adopted the dogs). I really do feel bad for these people because they really did love these dogs, but they made the choice to give them away and now we feel that it is time for them to let go. I did tell her that if her dd needed closure then they could come to our house and see the dogs once more, but that we would not be allowing them to take the dogs with them. She was not happy with that and said that she would talk with her dd and call us later and let us know what they decided. I'm not sure what she meant by that, but they are not taking the dogs off of our property! I felt that I was being nice offering them opportunity to come see the dogs once more to get closure, but I'm not offering more than that.

Thanks everyone for the advice!

By Coopaveryben on Thursday, October 14, 2004 - 10:51 pm:

If they don't know where you live, I don't think I would allow them to even come to the house. I would consider meeting them at a park or something. This lady sounds crazy enough that she would start driving past your house to catch a "glimpse" of the dog. Your dog could have a stalker....wonder if a dog could file for a restraining order? Maybe she won't even call you back.

By Emily7 on Thursday, October 14, 2004 - 11:59 pm:

I hope she doesn't call you back.

By Cocoabutter on Friday, October 15, 2004 - 12:24 am:

It seems from your description that you only agreed to supervised visitation at your home, not for a field trip away from your home for a day. I agree that this contact should not continue and that if she couldn't separate from them, she should not have given them up.

You could always change your ph #. And if worse comes to worse, get a restraining order and/or file a complaint of harrassment.

Good Luck!