I feel like a bad mom
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive October 2004:
I feel like a bad mom
My dh and I are planning to leave tomorrow morning for a four day stay in a cabin in the mountains, without the dks, for our 11th anniversary (it was last Saturday). Well, my ds woke up this morning saying he didn't feel well and then threw up. I feel like a bad mom because I'm more worried about the possibility of having to cancel our trip than I am about him actually being sick. I know I shouldn't be so selfish, but I can't help it this time. We planned this trip three months ago and we can not make the trip up later because dh is starting a new job in a week and will not have vacation time for a year. I have had a really full schedule for the past few months and I have been really stressed lately and I NEED this time away right now! Thankfully, it appears to only be a little stomach bug and nothing serious so I may be worrying about nothing. He is watching a movie and asking for a snack right now, but still I feel like a bad mom for feeling so selfish.
Thats only normal that you are disappointed. I would be the same way. As much as you love your kids like you said you have been planning this for a while. Don't be so hard on yourself.
Hope things work out.
Stacy, don't feel bad!! I'm sure *most* of us have felt selfish at one time or another. It's only natural to be disappointed and upset about the possibility of canceling your trip.
Mom's give their *EVERYthing* to their kids/families - it's normal to want - and NEED - time for yourself, and time for you and your spouse.
And it seems like Murphy's law or something - whenever you have something special planned, one of the kids always gets sick! Stop beating yourself up over the way you feel. You're not the only one who has felt that way - I know *I* certainly have, more than once!
I hope DS is better quickly. Who will be the caregiver while you are away? Just make sure they have your ped's phone numbers and emergency numbers. And remember this - even if your kids are perfectly healthy when you leave for a trip, there's no guarantee they won't get sick while you are away. So as long as you have a responsible, trustworthy, mature caregiver, you will be fine going away!
Have fun - and Happy Anniversary!
I don't think you are selfish at all, I think I would feel the same way, epecially if I had been planning a trip for so long. Our lives always revolve around our kids, but sometimes you just have to say, I need this for me, and do it. If he has known about the trip, it just might be a little bit of a nervous stomach. Go have a good time, sounds like you need this time away, and have fun!!
Please don't feel bad. A few years back I had a girl's weekend planned. We had been planning it for months. Dh threw out his back the week before we were suppose to leave. The first thing I thought was "oh no, my trip"
My ds had a stomach bug last week. It only lasted one day. Hopefully, your ds will be feeling better tomorrow.
I hope he gets to feeling better so you are able to go.
If it is a stomach bug then I am sure that whoever you have watching them can handle it. Just give them the medical and insurance (probably won't need it) and call as often as you want. You need this time. Your marriage needs this time. Don't feel bad. Just Go as long as it is not anything really serious. If it is just a bug with no really high fever then load em up with water juice or gatorade, get him some pillows and blankets and movies adn I am sure he will feel better in a day or so.
I am glad to hear that I am not the only one who has ever felt this way even though I am still feeling guilty about it. *sigh*
Ds is doing better. He ate some dry Cheerios about a half an hour ago and they seem to be staying down and the water he is drinking is staying down as well. He is asking for toast now and wants to get up and play and he says I'm being mean because I'm making him lay on the couch and watch movies.
Dks will be staying with my parents Friday - Monday morning and then with my best friend until we get back Monday afternoon. I will make sure to leave all the numbers and an insurance card, just in case. I know that they will be well taken care of while I'm away and I know that I deserve some time away for dh and I to be a couple and for me to be a person and not just "mom", but I get so caught up in being "mom" 24/7 that I feel guilty if I ever put myself first.
Thanks for the words of encouragement and I'll try to not feel so bad about putting my wants first this time, but boy is it hard to break out of that "mommy" mold!
Be sure to also leave a letter authorizing your parents and your friend to take the kids in for medical care and to authorize treatment. No doctor would treat them without parental consent of some kind.
Don't feel guilty, please. It's probably a 24 hour stomach virus - kids of friends have had that. You and your dh deserve some time to be adults without hearing mommy/daddy at the worst possible moment.
Now, the trick is to only call the kids twice a day - once is even better. Work on that.
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