It's not a normal thing, we already had a discussion about this a long time ago, and since we've been married he hasn't looked at any porn.
Untill yesterday morning, and I'm so TICKED OFF I can barely think straight. It doesn't normally bother me if he looks at it once in a while, but it's been TWO MONTHS since we had sex, and I'm so sexually frustrated right now that every little thing is irritating me. Not only that, I'm 30 weeks now, and it doesn't help that I'm getting quite a bit bigger and I am feeling very body concious lately. I'm so mad. I don't want to blow up at DH when he gets home, but I do not want to let this go either. I almost cried when I saw the site he was at on the drop down bar on IE. I'm not sure what I'm going to do, I think I'm just going to write him an email since I have a fear of confrontation, at least I know he'll know how I'm feeling. I love my babies, but I do not like being pregnant, and right at this moment all I want is my body back, I want my husband to be attracted to me again. I really hate feeling like this. Thanks for letting me rant

By Gammiejoan on Wednesday, October 6, 2004 - 07:36 pm:

I can only imagine how upset you must be! Thank goodness I've never had this problem! There is no excuse for your husband to do this. It is a problem irregardless of how he views it, and it is not normal behavior. It shows disrespect for you. I can understand your wanting to write him an email rather than confront him face-to-face because I have written my husband letters in the past when I felt I was too emotional to handle it in person. If you use that method, however, you will still need to follow up with a face-to-face meeting. He needs to be made to understand how much this hurts you.

You mentioned that you haven't had sex in two months. Is this related to your pregnancy? I can't remember if you have mentioned having any problems with your pregnancy.

I personally doubt if your being pregnant has anything to do with your husband's looking at porn. If he has a problem with porn, the problem will exist irregardless of your body shape.

Have you spoken with him yet? Please keep us updated. We are here for you so feel free to vent anytime you feel like it.

By Emily7 on Wednesday, October 6, 2004 - 07:42 pm:

I am not sure exactly what to say. I do not want to make excuses for his bad behavior. I am just wondering if he knows you are sexually frustrated? When I was pregnant with dd, my dh thought I was to uncomfortable to make love. Granted he didn't use other measures & suffered right along with me until I made it clear that I NEEDED to make love.
I know that you can get to feeling huge & unattractive when you are as far along as you are. I personally think pregnant women are beautiful & so do a lot of people I know. I think you need to have some you time. Go get your hair done, a manicure, & a massage. Make your dh take you out to dinner & then spend the night rediscovering each other.
I hope that your letter did some good, sometimes men are jerks & really don't understand why.

By Juli4 on Thursday, October 7, 2004 - 12:06 pm:

I am sorry about your hurt and disappointment. It does hurt emotionally and to be pregnant to boot. I understand your body conscienceness. I have BTDT. All I can say is try writing him a letter and then follow up with a sit down talk. I wish I could help more. There are sights and books that help you and him. "every man's battle" is a good one. They have a few others that are for women.

By Boxzgrl on Thursday, October 7, 2004 - 05:49 pm:

I don't have any advice because i'm weak in the area of porn, i've dealt with it too much recently to give you an un-biased opinion. But I do want to offer you (((HUGS))) Maybe talking to him about your insecurities will make him understand a bit more. Men aren't known for thinking before reacting.

By Melana on Thursday, October 7, 2004 - 09:51 pm:

well, I did write him an email, although I haven't gotten up the courage to sit down and talk with him about it. He has been showing more of the caring sympathetic man I know he can be. No sex yet but he was very affectionate last night, so maybe he's working up to it????? I can only hope, lol. I'm more concerned about that than the porn, like I said, this is the first time in over a year that he's looked at any. Oh well, things will work out.

By Boxzgrl on Thursday, October 7, 2004 - 09:53 pm:

You dont have to answer but i'm just concerned as to why theres been no sex in 2 months? (((HUGS)))

By Boxzgrl on Friday, October 8, 2004 - 08:44 pm:

(((HUGS))) Melana, just wanted to know I was thinking of you and hope all is well.

By Melana on Friday, October 8, 2004 - 11:13 pm:

Boxzgrl,
He's wierded out by the pregnancy, he can see and feel the baby move now and that makes it real. He is freaked that he can get "that close" to the baby with that particular body part. I've tried to explain that the baby can't feel, see or has any idea what's going on, but it's not that the baby knows, it's that DH knows....He wasn't around longer than my 5th month with Alexis as he left for basic training then.

By Emily7 on Friday, October 8, 2004 - 11:59 pm:

Take him to your next doctor visit maybe having the doctor explain might help. My dh was concerned the first pregnancy too.