Bridal party etiquette
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive September 2004:
Bridal party etiquette
My 5 yr old daughter is going to be a flower girl(there is going to be 2 flower girls)in a wedding in Mid Oct..This wedding is the daughther of a friend of mine(family friends)..Anyways, my friend took my daughter to try the dress on at the bridal shop.. I didnt go, as it was just easier that way for me to stay home with the baby.. Anyways, when I asked my friend how much I owed her for the dress, she said she didnt want any money..I said I want to at least pay for half if nothing else.. She kept saying no, saying she knows we dont have alot of money etc..But, is it normally that you pay for your own dress? I havent been in a wedding since I was around 13, and Im guessing my mother paid for that dress. We didnt have a real wedding(Just got married at City hall).. so I dont know what people normally do. I did find out the dress was around 100$.That seems so much to me, for a 5 yr old.
Any wedding I have been in I have paid for my own dress. The girls that were in my wedding paid for their own dresses too. I think it is normal for everyone to pay for their own, but I never really thought about it before!!
I paid for all the dresses in my wedding, mine, maid of honor and 1 brides maid. I felt bad to make them pay for something they probably would never wear again. I say, if she wants to pay for it so be it Just remember to send her a thank you note Remember to take a picture. I'd love to see this dress, wow!
BTW this was back in 1986
My bridesmaids and flower girls all paid for their own. Although, my flower girls had a mom that made their dresses and they were adorrrrrable. If she wants to offer to pay then let her. It seems like she wants your daughter to be in the wedding and be a special part of it...and doesn't want money to be an issue. Send a fantastic thank you letter and get a great gift for the couple that you can afford. You've got a great friend!
It's customary for the bridesmaids to buy their own dresses. That being said, if the bride wants to pay, then you should let her. You offered to do it and she declined. She chose a dress that she likes and doesn't want to force the cost on you. $100 IS a lot of money for a dress for a four or five year old and she is being very gracious by paying for it herself. This way she gets the dress SHE wants without feeling bad for making you pay for it. It's a win/win situation! All that being said, I was maid of honor back in June and the bride paid for my dress. I was asked with only two months notice until the wedding and she felt bad about that and I had to travel by plane which of course cost quite a bit, so she wanted to help out by buying the dress. I, too, offered to pay but it was something she really wanted to and it made her feel better about it all. Tell her thank you and be sure to say how much you love it and what great taste she has!!
We've never had to pay for a flower girl dress. My girls have been in several weddings.
Yes, bridesmaids these days usually pay for their own dresses and when my brother, sister and I were in my Aunts wedding, she paid for the dresses and the tux. I wouldnt worry about it. If she wants to pay, let her.
When we got married, I paid for my flower girl's dress. She was my cousin and my Aunt and Uncle were coming in from out of town. They had the expensive of their plane tickets and hotel, so I decided to pay for the dress and shoes. If she offers to pay, let her and don't worry about it.
I paid for my flower girl's dress and I paid to have her hair done. No big deal. Her Mom paid for her shoes and ruffley little socks.
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