I come from a long line of worriers. My grandmother is the type of person who will call you in the middle of the night if there is a thunder storm watch, because she wants you to be awake and able to "take cover". My mom is the same way. I could never go anywhere or do anything. I didn't get to go on my senior trip even! I never got to go out past 11:00, not even on my prom night. I also didn't get to drive until I was almost 18. The list of things I couldn't do goes on and on. All because she was too worried. My problem is, I have inherited this excessive worrying. I don't want to be as over protective as my mom. I want my son to be able to do things (within reason) and have fun and enjoy his childhood. My mom worried so much that as a child I worried about money (as young as 8 or 9).
I try to ignore the worrying that I know is ridiculous. Like all the scenarios I think of when Christopher is with someone besides me.
I worry about Christopher and how he isn't crawling (even though the doctor, and several books, and other parents have said it is OK)
In fact, this entire post is about me worrying about worrying!!
I guess I just want to know if anyone else has family like this, or if anyone thinks things like I do. I really just wanted to get it off my chest.

By Mrse on Friday, September 10, 2004 - 04:38 pm:

Yes I worry too! I had a job as a chamber maid, and worryed so much , about doing a good job, what did they think of me, did I forget something etc, etc, so much that one day I broke down at work, my stomache was killing me. After going to the doctor, and getting a scope done on my stomache, they found that my body produces to much acid ( when I am upset) and my stomache throws up and burns the lining of my stomache ( reason for the terrible pain I was in. I also have panic attacks, and my mind still races, worrying if people think I am doing a good job etc.. Another example ok, first off we do not have much money, and I worry about bills etc.. then one night I am in bed thinking about if I won the lottery what I would do etc.. then I started worrying about that, about dh giving away large amounts of cash to help friends family out, and I had to stop myself as I was going off the deep end..... after I got my self under control, I could not beilve I got so wrapped up into a thought. My worrying also affects my sleep, if something is bothering me, I dream, and talk in my sleep, and when I wake up I feel like I did not even go to bed....... I take a herb, to calm down, as I can feel when I am going over the edge which really helps. My mother is kind of like this to nervous, things get to much for her as well, you just have to talk your self out of it, yes take precautions, with your children, but know when to let them go, I had to make myself realize that I had done a good job as a parent, now it is their turn to practise what I have been preaching. Good example, dd no.3 goes bike riding, with helmet, friend comes over without helmet on, dd will not go with her unless she put the helment on. dd and I talked about the helmet issue I told her 1. it is the law, 2. you can have a brain injury from just falling off the bike, 3. you do not want to see your best friend on the ground seriously hurt. The helmet is not doing her friend any good on the handle bars. ( I was also told by dd that her mom doesn't care if she wears it or not!) not sure if that is true, but everyone worries about different things but you and I worry about everything. I would rather worry about everything than be a person that is ignorant to just about everything. When my kids fight I always tell them pick your battles carefully, same as worrying, worry about what is really really important and try to let the little things go.
I hope all my ramblings has helped you in some way, if not you know that you are not the only one out their who is a worry wort too!! lol

By Boxzgrl on Friday, September 10, 2004 - 04:44 pm:

I dont have worry problems or a family background but I know what you mean when it comes down to worrying about our children. I used to worry all the time about everything as my DD was growing and im sure a few moms on here have seen my worried posts. But one thing I have learned is not to worry so much about your childs deveopmental/physical skills unless they seem way out of the ordinary. Chris is still young so he has time to find crawling something of interest. Maybe he'll be one of those babies who crawls for 2 weeks and then is up walking around I've seen a few of those. But dont throw your days away worrying about stuff that is petty. Try to do things that compliment what your worried about. If its crawling, spend more time with him on the floor. If its talking, talk and read more books. Etc.... You KWIM.

Good Luck and dont think your worrying is necessarily wrong. I'd rather see a mom over worried about her child than not caring at all. (((HUGS)))

By Trisa on Saturday, September 11, 2004 - 09:12 am:

My mother is a pro at this!
She worries about everything!!
She still worries about me driving!!
She had a huge fear of driving and never drove any place but to her job that she started when I
was a teenager. Some of the things I tell her my son does she says you let him do that? He might get hurt!! I love her but it drives me insane!!
At least she is 3 1/2 hour away from me!! lol
When I moved to Fl I had to fly all by myself ( I was 22) she was worried sick! She would never do anything like that.

By Happynerdmom on Saturday, September 11, 2004 - 11:12 am:

My best friend's mom was a worrier with a capital "W." Excessive worrying causes children to be worriers. (They see the world as a scary, dangerous place.) It causes them to lack self-confidence. (If mom doesn't think I can handle it, I guess I can't.) It causes them to be pessimists, and seek out the negative in every situation, instead of the positive. It can almost literally paralyze them. (Not to mention you.) I've seen it happen. Of course, we as moms will worry! But what you are talking about is an unhealthy level. I'm glad you are aware of this, so at least you can maybe try to correct some of it. See if you can find a book about it, or seek some counseling...pastoral, professional, or even an older friend that you trust and admire. I hope I don't sound alarmist, but I think you are right to be worried about this. You can see how it has affected you, and this is one family curse you do not want to pass on. Good luck! (((Jennifer)))

By Pamt on Saturday, September 11, 2004 - 11:46 pm:

I used to be a professional worrier until about this time last year. I went to a Beth Moore conference--she's an awesome Christian women's speaker and Bible teacher--that changed my life. Last year she taught on the book of Job and our homework after the conference was related to that. We were supposed to go back to our hotel rooms and write a list of everything horrible that could happen...our very biggest worries. By the end of the list my husband and 2 kids had died horrible deaths, I had a painful, lingering, fatal disease, our house had burned to the ground, I had no money, my family was gone, etc. She asked if all that came to pass could I still believe that God was in control and had a plan for my life, that He still loved me, and that He was still Lord. Hmmm..tall order. But my experience over time has shown me that is true, so after some arguing with God, some crying, and some praying, I gave all of my worry over to Him. I have been living a life full of peace ever since! Every time I start to feel worry creep up on me I just remind me that nothing so bad could happen that would make God less in control. That was what worked for me.

I agree with Michele that worrying can be very harmful for kids. Worry literally can steal our joy!! We learn from our mistakes and our bad times and it is all part of life. Obviously a little dose of healthy concern helps us make wise choices and care for our children. I don't just let my kids run willy-nilly through the neighborhood, but neither am I paralyzed with "what if..?" thought about them constantly. I think some short-term counseling from an objective party would be a great idea to help you adequatelt gauge if you are worrying excessively. And...even if you are not, you apparently have some baggage from childhood that it wouldn't hurt to deal with.

By Jelygu on Sunday, September 12, 2004 - 11:30 am:

Thank you all so much for the advice. It is so nice to be able to come to a place where SOMEONE will understand what you are going through, when none of your "real" friends do!
I'm not sure what I am going to do yet, I may go speak to my old pastor.