I finally got the courage to talk to our HR person yesterday about the possibility of me going back to PT, and she said it could probably be worked out. She (understandably) wanted to know my reasons, and I told her that my recent health problems (one that sent me to the hospital in the middle of my work day by ambulance) might be stress related, and that I needed to cut back. Of course, the most "reasonable" cut back in my life right now would be to quit being church secretary (working FT and PT simultaneously is really taking its toll on me), and she said the bank pays more than the church (which is true), but I love the church work so much, I really, REALLY don't want to give it up (been doing it for 10 years now). I won't be losing benefits, since I'm on dh's insurance, but I'd be cutting our monthly income substantially. I still believe it could be done. But then there's college and retirement to think of, and dh's desire for me to continue working. I am so torn! Just yakking, not really looking for answers (though if you have one, I'll listen!)

By Audreyj on Friday, September 10, 2004 - 11:44 am:

Congratulations on your courageous decision. I can understand your love for your church, I love my church also. Sometimes God has ways of providing financial help for the "tough decisions" especially if we put him "first". Good for you. We have had a recent income cut also. (DH company choose to eliminate his bonus program, since DH bonused a lot on his paycheck this has been an income cut for us as well). Sometimes when my dh and I are "agreeing to disagree" on a topic we are praying about, such as job changes and financial changes, it helps to just sit back and "wait on God". Really, it does. Perhaps you could work pt and keep the church secretary job while you take a "breather". God may have something in mind that you don't see right now.....just a thought.....I promise, based on real life experiences, just sometimes God works things out in areas that I never would have dreamed of.....

I know how you feel about being "torn" though. I am going through some family transistions myself right now (homeschool v. public school) changes and today has been really, really, tough. So, if it helps you to know....somebody (me) is in a waiting, changing period of life as well! :-) AJ

By Melanie on Friday, September 10, 2004 - 02:09 pm:

I think it's great that you decided to do this. You've been so stressed and unhappy for too long. I know the money is a huge issue, but so is your health and well being. You only have one chance to raise these kids. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to do it without all the extra stress? There are so many scholarships out there. Many kids have to work their way through college. And frankly, if you remember college, isn't it the ones who have to work their way through that really succeed in their classes? A lot of times, it's the kids who have their education handed to them that end up spending too much time partying and not enough time studying. So college can work itself out. There are a lot of options out there.

Hang in there. I think you are doing the right thing. (((HUG)))

By Janet on Friday, September 10, 2004 - 02:53 pm:

I know in my own experience, I was blessed to have parents who paid my way through college, but I didn't appreciate it, and pretty much messed around (not totally, but I wasn't as serious as I should've been). I think the big factor is retirement, which my dh is very worried about. We are both in our mid-40s, and we no longer have the luxury of "someday." On the other hand, even though my kids are older (14 and 9), I know they need me almost more now than ever. I feel like this is something I should do, but I'm afraid dh will think I'm a nutcase if I bring it up again.

By Marg on Friday, September 10, 2004 - 03:10 pm:

I'm one of those that worked for 16 years. Very stressful and I was emotionally/mentally abused at work along with my coworkers

I'm a much more pleasant person being a sahm

We do not have material things that are wanted but if the dks ask me for something over the top, I ask them "would you prefer me working or at home." The answer is always the same, 'at home.'

I changed dramatically when staying at home. What a blessing. Your dh may just need to see how happy you are at home, that's all it took for my dh. I used to be a *****. Sorry for the cussing, but I was one nasty person

By Juli4 on Friday, September 10, 2004 - 11:49 pm:

Why don't you do a trial run for a month or two and try to live on the pt time income so that you won't be so shocked if it does happen and possibly go into debt. And if it is successful then think of the money you saved the first month or two while still working ft and it could convince your dh that it can be done.

By Janet on Sunday, September 12, 2004 - 09:03 pm:

Well, I took a deep breath and brought it up to dh this morning. Surprisingly, he told me he wanted me to be happy, and if I really wanted to go pt, then do it! I was so relieved and happy today, you wouldn't believe it. But now, the doubts creep in... would we be able to "go back" to where we were a year ago? I need to sit down and work out a budget, first. Then I thought maybe I'd try to get along for awhile on just what I'd be making pt and dh's salary (as Juli suggested) to see how it goes. Anyway, I'm getting there...

By Pamt on Sunday, September 12, 2004 - 09:06 pm:

Sounds great!! You've sounded unhappy for too long. Glad you're starting to make some changes. ((Janet))