I love being a sahm
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive September 2004:
I love being a sahm
I know it's not always easier Being a stay at home mom was not a decision I made. I lost my job to take care of mom.
When I lost my job I thought I left behind a lot, the money, the interaction with people, my occupation.
I do not have or need those benefits anymore
This summer we lived off love, lol! No income! You wouldn't believe the miracles we received this summer. When I thought there would be no food, God always provided.
Yes, it is the first day for dds and dh to go back to school and work (all at the same time).
But I've already had to run to school (Rachel's shoes - a birthday present from Avon) were falling apart, sole was falling off.
But a light finally went off how really important it is for me to be at home. For years, I didn't feel worthy of this. I don't need the money or the title, I just need the love of my family.
I am blessed
I'm glad you are so happy! It is love that is the most important things in our lives. So often we get caught up in the rush for more more more. It is so refreshing to hear (or read.. lol) someone who values family and love more important than material goods!
You know, when I was a high school teacher, I really did notice a difference in the kids whose mother stayed at home with them. There were a lot of good kids that had working moms, and I realized how much work that was to stay on top of their school work like they did. So, it's definitely possible. But, when I taught the honors kids, there were 2 major themes...they were read to, and about 90% of them had SAHM's.
This is actually a turning point for me as most of you ladies know. My struggle with my past job and employer gave me little to no self esteem.
So much good advice, hugs, friendship and just listening (or allowing us to post;) has helped me so much. I thank all of you ladies for being here and posting
Marg, So happy you are having a good day. I have been a SAHM for 4 years and I love it. I do bartend right now for some extra cash but thats nights when DH is home with the kids.
Now in 2 years when Alissa heads to school I will want to get back into the working world again.
Just so happy that you seem very up today.
I also love being a SAHM. Oh yes we all have our bad days! I am so happy I am able to be here when my son gets home from school and that im able to stay home with Keirra who is 3. My son even told me once that he is so happy I stay at home because
his friends parants are never home and that he would be sad if he came home to an empty house everyday. Not that I judge people who work. Some just have to. I am just happy I am able to stay home right now.
Snif. My post is going to sound like a bull in a china shop since I'm a WAHM, but I thought I'd cast a little extra (good) light on your choice because my life sounds just terrible by comparison.
I'm just packing right now to catch a business flight to Edmonton. My dh is trying to get home before 6:00pm so he can give me a kiss goodbye. I was hoping for more since we're TTC.
My ds (3yo) is up in another city 4 hours away with Grandma & Grandpa. We left him last night - for TWO WEEKS (longest ever). It's gonna kill me, because right after I come back from *THIS* business trip, I turn around and fly out on another one. On Sept. 11. I hate flying on Sept 11. And it's a long one - to South America. Best thing is that I'm bringing dh with me. Worst thing is that I don't get to see ds for another week. We just figured it would be better that he stay with G&G for another week, since I will barely get to see him this week and not at all the next.
Anyway, feeling a little sorry for myself. This is a particularly busy time at work, and even my boss (who has kids) is feeling sorry for me. I can't wait until things get back to normal - Sept. 20th!
The worst thing was coming home today to pack for my trip to: utter silence. No ds. No "HELLO MUMMY!". No "Look at my cars!". No "We went to the playground today!!"
Why do I work? Well, we do need the money, but the key thing is that my job is the nice, stable one that has all the benefits (medical, dental, extended health, flexible hours, most of the time). Dh's job isn't stable. But it's times like these that I gotta admit, this is definitely the short straw.
Anyway, forgive me - I was feeling a little emotional about my choices. This post struck a chord. Please remember how lucky you all are.
Laura,
I was the same way. I had a dependable job for 15+ years. Every year I hated it more and more. I kept telling myself one more year.
I have health problems due to what I put myself through.
I prayed to God every night to help me get out of this situation. And one day he did. Me being fired was a blessing. It didn't seem like it at the time but every day I am so thankful. I would have never quit.
A lot of times we don't have enough money to pay for bills, but we make it, somehow we make it.
I've learned a lot about my self in the past 3 years. Mentally and physically I'm getting stronger. But I'm not sure I could ever work 'with the public' again
I do not criticize either end. I would never judge anyone, and I'm sorry if my post sounds like it. I'm not. I've been on both ends, and I like this one a lot better. And I like myself a lot better
Has anybody ever tried any of those jobs that you can do at home? For most of them you have to pay $20 to $40 for some type of start up. They send you stuff, you do it at home, you send it back, somebody sends you a check? Are any of these for real? Do you actually make good money with them? Just curious.
If I may chime in and tell my story?
When dh and I were married for 3 years, we bought our first (still living here) house. We weren't prepared for all the extra expenses, such as lawncare, trash pick-up, utilities that were previously covered in our rent. Our monthly payment was $150 more per month. A year and a half later, my dh changed jobs (a good thing) but took a pay cut and lost $500 per month, and my job cut way back on hours (from 48 hrs/wk to 36 hrs/wk) and I too lost out on about $4-$500 per month. We got into credit card debt before we had our son, 3 years later. I went into daycare to stay at home with my son. I hold those years as precious, but in a bitter-sweet way. I always wanted to go places and do things, just with my son, and I couldn't because I was responsible for 4-6 other kids, and I couldn't have lived with myself if I had lost any of them while we were out and about. So I spent ALOT of time trapped within the walls of my home.
When my son was 5 (right after 9/11) I lost ALL of my daycare kids for one reason or another. Three of them moved away, one mom lost her job, and another mom put her son in pre-school in the city where they live, about 30 miles away. So I was faced with the reality that I had to find a job outside the home. I was fortunate enough to find one that allowed a flexible schedule so that we didn't need daycare (as if we could have afforded it). For 2 long years I worked days and weekends and my dh worked nights and had weekends off. I hated it so much.
I really enjoyed my job when I was there. I like working with the public (I was a guest services representative at a retail store). But, when I came home, instead of being happy, I dreaded it. I saw nothing but work, work, work, and a family that needed more of me than I had left to give. I was always tired and cranky, and I lived for bedtime. Since my dh has moved up in his job and is making twice as much as when he first started, and we were working together to get our debt paid off in a hurry, we had actually discussed the possibility of bringing me home sometime in the middle of 2004.
Finally, after having battled a cold for 3 weeks last February, I went to the doctor. He took my blood pressure and looked at me with great concern.(165/115) He gave me blood pressure medicine and told me he wanted to see me back in 3 days, and wrote me an excuse from work. Then he told me that I ran the risk of stroke.
Those words knocked the wind out of me. I CAN'T let that happen! My son NEEDS me! My husband... how on EARTH would he take care of our son by himself? There seemed to be no other option. My dh and I knew that the best thing for all of us was for me to come home. He was sick and tired of me not being around for weekends and holidays, and our extended family ties had suffered as well under my work schedule. So, I called my work and said I wasn't coming back!
Our whole family has never been happier (the dog, too!) The house runs as smoothly as a well oiled machine. I have the freedom to be involved in my son's school (they say that the kids who do best in school have parents who are the most involved). I also have plans to get busy (now that school has started again) on cleaning the basement and the attic and having a garage sale next spring or selling some stuff on eBay. After that, I would really like to start making money selling stuff I make, like jewelry or gift baskets with soaps and stuffed animals, who knows?
The most important thing is that I truly feel I am where I belong. I am making the greatest contribution I will ever make to society- my son.
That was such a great story!
Yes all the stress was not worth it since your
health was bad because of it. Thanks for sharing
your story!!
I got to be a SAHM for 7 years before I got my job at the clinic. It's maybe not so good when I'm covering all the vacations in the summer and don't get a lot of time with my own kids, but now it is nice, since I have more time at home and can take my kids to school and pick them up, most of the time, anyway.
Anway, it was nice being a SAHM, since if anyone got sick, there was someone to stay home with them. We also did lots of reading, drawing, playing and doing stuff together. My kids got a good base to start from, anyway. They were 6 and 4 or so, when I was home all the time. 13 and 11 when I got the job at the clinic 2 years ago.
They both still do homework in the evenings without being told and they both usually pack their backpacks before they go to bed, too. It makes mornings much easier!
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