This morning I had coffee with mom and dad, had to drop dh off at their house as that is where his truck was parked. My dad has this nack of giving me a migrane every time I go for a visit, and I told him so. Mom gets stressed out because she says that we always fight every time. I told her it was not me, it was dad that starts it. He always has some comment about dh, don't get me wrong he thinks he is a great guy, he just nit picks about him all the time, like if he is working in the shop fixing the cars he never put tools away, or their were nuts and bolts left over etc.. Today I was telling them how my sis was kind of picking on dd, on the camping trip, I guess the youngest dd left a wet towel on the floor of the tent, granted she should have known better etc.. but I thought sis could have handled it in a better way, my dd said she left it their and sis said oh, I should have known it was you!! ( not good) made her feel really bad, I think she should have been told to put the darn thing up, that you don't leave it their etc, but to imply that every time something is out of place that she is the culpret, is not good. Anyway telling mom and dad that story, dad piped up everytime they are here they leave stuff all over the living room, you should teach them to put stuff away etc.. no I gave birth to them, and I called it quits!! of course I have told them about picking up etc.. Anyway I said to dad, dad, ok now my husband is no good now my kids are no good, I should have moved away a long time ago! When I was drinking my coffee I instantly had this feeling like I wanted to wiggle my nose and disappear. Dad started laughing, then I told him he gave me a headache and I headed for the tylenyol. Just before I left, he said don't get me wrong I love my grandchildren they are the best thing that ever happened to us etc.. then I went to give my kisses bye and dad asked if I wanted some gum, he hands me the whole pack, I went to take one out he said I have lots take the whole pack, I said oh, he says well, I had to give you something to make up for what I said. Talk about jeckal and hyde. When dad makes me mad I will not call their house, then mom calls me and says are you mad at me, knowing full well who I am mad at, I just say no!! it dad again. I swear it is dad's fun to get a rise out of me. The other day he started about dh, and I was not feeling well, ( almost to tears) I just blurted out dad NOT TODAY I am not up to fighting with you, maybe another time, and he stopped right away and said oh ok. Makes me laugh when i think about it. So that is usually how my visits go, dad goes on and on, and usually mom heads for the barn, so she does not have to listen to it. that is my visit with my parents

By Amy~moderator on Wednesday, August 25, 2004 - 12:20 pm:

ROFL, sounds familiar here. But, our family pokes fun at one another all the time - it's nothing unusual. I can't really tell - does it REALLY bother you, or is it just annoying?

By Eight_Kids on Wednesday, August 25, 2004 - 12:34 pm:

My parents have chilled out a lot in the last few years...but 7-10 years ago my DH was 'another one of my bad mistakes', his kids were not permitted in my parents house...lots of stupid stuff (mostly from my dad...mom just went along with it cuz of my dad, I think) so........I moved about an hour and 15 minutes away (not too far, but far enough) Funny...but about 3 or 4 months after I moved, my DH (he wasn't my husband at the time....just a live in boyfriend) wasn't such a bad guy anymore and since I had my daughter (she will be 7 next month) everybody is great and I don't have too many problems with my parents. Hope things get better for you!

By Mrse on Wednesday, August 25, 2004 - 12:50 pm:

Well it is a little of both I suppose, it really all depends on how I am feeling emotionally at the time. It bothers me that my dad, will go in spurts about dh, on and on, does not stop the whole visit. I have told him several times you got a problem with dh you tell him. When I met dh he had very low self esteam, my dad knew that, his parents were divorced, and he had a step dad, and his parents did not treat him equally to the others and it was so ovious it was not funny. One thing I did say to dad this morning was don't put dh down, you know what his self esteam is like you have to try to bring him up, don't put him down, his own family did that eneough! dad agreed. My dad showed my dh how to fix cars, which he knew nothing at 18 now he can fix almost anything, and showed him how to run machinery tractor's etc.. so in that respect dad has really taken him under is wing. One big thing dad has always said is dh is just to dam nice, as he will and has given someone the last dollar in his pocket to help someone with no regard to what he may need. This thing with dad and dh has been going on so many years, once I said to dad, you know you are right!! I was bawling my eyes out I said you are right I should never have married him I went on he is this and he is that, what kind of a guy did I marry, I said that is it, I am going to end it while the getting is good. Well dad sure changed his tune in a hurry, well he aint that bad. ( too funny) just wants something to ••••• about that is all. Dad just has to watch he does not do his nit picking on a bad day. As he gets older he just does it more. Funny when parents get older you see how much more things bother them, they can not let the little things go anymore. So really to answer your question, yes it bothers me, especially if dad does it the whole visit, which is alot latley. If I can not handle it, I just say NO and he drops it, so I guess we got it down to a system I suppose he knows my limits, because if he did not stop I would pick up and leave and not call him, he would have to call me and he knows I would do it as I have done it before. He calls it our fun, but sometimes it aint so fun.