I don’t feel safe in my home anymore. (A very long post) We had a party for the 4th of July and up until around 1 a.m. it went great. That was around the time when most everyone went home. My cousin and her dh had been passed out in my bedroom for at least an hour, her on my bed with the girls (my dd 2 and her dd4) and him on the floor. My dh was outside with my neighbor and two other Marines that were at my neighbors house. One of the other guys came into the house and started helping me clean up. Around 1:30 he excused himself to go to the bathroom. Since I was really tired I sat down on the couch and fell asleep. Sometime between 2-2:30 my cousin and her husband awoke me and took me into my room to tell me that one of the guys had opened my bedroom door, walked over to the bed, felt her up and down and then must have realized that her dh was there on the floor between the bed and the wall and went into my bathroom. When the light to the bathroom was turned on it was then that my cousin realized it was NOT her dh. She said she laid there terrified and tried to act like she was sleeping until he came out of the bathroom walked back over to the bed and slapped her really hard on the butt. She sat up and yelled “What the F@#%” . He ran out of my room and outside to the patio where he sat down at the table with my dh and the other guys and acted like nothing happened. My cousin then awoke her husband and told him what had happened. He went out and confronted the guys and the one admitted to being in my room but said he did nothing. (By this time my dh was so intoxicated he didn’t even know what was going on.) That’s when they woke me up and told me. When I went back out into the living room to confront the guy and to tell him to leave they had all left and my dh was passed out on the couch. So I called the Military Police. They came out and got a description of the guy, then went to my neighbors house to find out who this guy was since he came over with him. Come to find out the suspect was another one of my neighbors, I didn’t know him but I do know his wife. She is out of state visiting family. They arrested him but then turned around and let him go at 9am. My dh called the M.P.’s back as soon as we found out that he had been released and they told him that it will be up to his command as to what charges he will face. WHAT????? This guy lives 2 doors down from me. His wife, I don’t know very well but well enough to know that she is the type of person that is going to try to start something when she gets back. I called housing yesterday and was told that they hadn’t heard about the incident but most likely would not be moving them. My dh is deploying in 1 month. Whose to say that this was an isolated incident. I don’t feel safe here. They moved me into this particular house so that I would feel safe again (for those of you that remember the attempted kidnapping with my daughter). Now I’m scared to walk out of my front door with out my dh. I have to leave today to go run errands but I’m terrified that he or his wife may be outside. Am I over reacting?

By Rayanne on Wednesday, July 7, 2004 - 01:17 pm:

(((((HUGS)))))
Not at all. I am so sorry sweetie. I wish that I lived closer so I could come over and then we could go out together.
Keep your eyes peeled and notice your surroundings. I am always scared when I go out by myself with Rylee. You never know what can happen. I always cary mace with me. Maybe you could do that as well.
What does your DH say to do?
Is there someplace else they can place you?
I don't know how the living sitution works.
I wish I had better advice for you, but I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers to stay safe and unharmed.

By Truestori on Wednesday, July 7, 2004 - 01:24 pm:

If he was bold enough to sneak into your bedroom, then I don't think you are overreacting in anyway.

I'm not familar with base housing but will he know that your husband is deployed?

Do you have friends on base that can watch out for you?

This is a tough situation. Sorry I can't offer more advice. Many ehugs, though

By Mommmie on Wednesday, July 7, 2004 - 01:53 pm:

Not overreacting at all!

By Bellajoe on Wednesday, July 7, 2004 - 02:03 pm:

No, you are not overreacting at all!

By Boxzgrl on Wednesday, July 7, 2004 - 03:52 pm:

Kristie, BE SAFE when Dave deploys. I'm sure most neighbors can tell whos DHs deploy when. Maybe you can request MP to do daily drive bys in your neighborhood to make sure all is safe, especially since your in a SNCO neighborhood. What a jerk that guy was/is!!! Maybe you should warn neighbors about him and start a neighborhood watch? Good luck and email me if you need anything.

By Ginny~moderator on Wednesday, July 7, 2004 - 06:29 pm:

I agree that you are not in any way overreacting. I don't care how drunk he was or what pathetic excuse he might come up with, no one has the right to touch another person's body without their permission. He knew he was doing something very wrong, from the way you describe it. And with the little girls there.

I don't know anything about the military system, but I hope there are chains you can go through to really push this complaint.

Also, I suggest you get one of those pocket-sized air horn things. Or a couple of them, and carry one with you at all times. If he or his wife come near you and you feel threatened, hit the button and keep it down until people come around to see what is going on. Most people don't want others watching them if they are trying to do something they know is wrong. Don't worry about being embarassed - being embarassed is a whole lot better than being physically hurt.

I also suspect this is not the first time this guy has done something like this, and it may well not be the first time someone has made a complaint. Again, I don't know the military but if there is any way you can follow this up without jeopardizing your husband's position or career - and for that I would simply ask him what he wants to do - I would try to follow it up.

By Insaneusmcwife on Thursday, July 8, 2004 - 01:22 am:

I talked to my husbands command today and they are going to help me as much as they can. Hopefully I will know more in the morning. They are suggesting that I move. I just don't think its fair that I have to move...They should move, that just makes us the victim again!!! My poor kids. I helped my dh fill out the forms we need for his command to sign so that we can get on the list for another house and so that my dad and "cousin" can stay with us while Dave is deployed. They say it will take 4-8 weeks once the forms are approved for us to be able to move. We saw the jerk outside watering his yard and when he saw my dh he ran in the house. I think one of those pocket horn things is a good idea...Thank you ladies, I'll let you know what happens.

By Rayanne on Thursday, July 8, 2004 - 08:56 am:

GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!

By Karen~moderator on Thursday, July 8, 2004 - 10:49 am:

I'm late getting in on this one, but you are definitely NOT over-reacting. I understand your not wanting to be the one who has to move, but if that's the choice you have, then you'll be better off NOT living so close to this creep. Be careful, and good luck!

By Insaneusmcwife on Thursday, July 8, 2004 - 06:17 pm:

No word yet from our command but dh hasn't been home yet either....I am hoping to talk to the LtCol tonight at my KV meeting, He is the one that has to sign the request anyways. I did talk to the Chaplain's wife today at out Staff/Officer Wives Coffee. She said she would get her husband involved if I didn't get anywhere at the close of business tomorrow. I am not at all looking forward to the move but I have lots of friends here that are offering to help me move....Hey Melissa, What are you doing 4-8 weeks from now????, lol j/k.

By Boxzgrl on Thursday, July 8, 2004 - 09:32 pm:

Moving on base, LOL!!! Looks like we'll be moving at the same time! We can help each other.... though i'm not sure how that would work!

By Insaneusmcwife on Saturday, July 10, 2004 - 02:03 am: