My dd's friend came here, he is a male , 15. dh was talking about fixing up our cars that are at my mom's house and he showed an interest in working on cars and learning and was really excited, as he has no father, well dh had said that if he helped him he would see what he could do about getting bil's old truck for him, but nothing was confirmed he just said it. Then two months later ( on the weekend) the kid finds out dh is going to fix a vehichle and jumps at the chance to come and help. The kid tells me that his mom says " well I hope you are getting paid for this" He told me, he said to her that their was a truck in the deal. I sat their and just said oh, as I did not know if dh had talked to bil about the truck or not. The kid did end up going to help, in the mean time I am scrambling around trying to find out if it is possible for the kid to get the truck, but bil said no he wanted to part the truck out. Orginally we thought that the kid just wanted to spend time with dh and learn about cars, etc,, and we were all kind of flattered about the whole thing. My dd said that he had said to her well I am sure I am going to get something out of it! Now that whole day I was on dh to say something to him, so this did not go on all day, but of course he didn't so now we have a situation. I was also painting and the friend (boy) his girlfriend was also came with him, and my dd, so I told them right off, now no one is going to get any money for helping paint the house, so if you don't want to help you don't have to. The girl friend said what ohhhhhhhhhhh. I said I did not say anything about money. I am a little upset that the boy's mother is teaching him already that you do not help someone out unless their is money involved. The boy had no experience at all working on vehichles, and if we wanted to put out money we would take it into the shop instead of doing the work our selves. I am going to have to get on dh and get him to call this boy and tell him their is no truck. The boy wanted to go up and help the next day also but dh declined the offer, so now I either have to tell the kid myself or keep harping on dh to do it, it is really not fair to the boy to keep him hanging like that. dh is a bit upset because in his day, he worked all the time like that and got nothing at all, and he was really happy he thought this boy wanted to learn something about vehichles.

By Emily7 on Monday, July 5, 2004 - 01:41 pm:

I think that your dh should never have said anything. You can say one thing to a teenager & they are going to hear what they want to hear. Your dh has the responsiblity to tell this kid that he spoke to his bil & that there won't be a truck involved. I do think though that if he has been doing a good job he should be compensated in some way, because your dh did lead him, unintentionally, to believe he would be.

By Karen~moderator on Monday, July 5, 2004 - 02:21 pm:

I agree with Emily.

By Amy~moderator on Monday, July 5, 2004 - 02:29 pm:

I also agree with Emily. Your dh should never had told a child that he would be compensated with a truck unless he was 100% positive that he would be able to follow through. I think maybe a $20 would be able to end this situation with no hurt feelings. However, I do believe that your dh should do the explaining and compensating. (((Mrse))) It sounds like you are dealing with a lot right now, considering your other posts. Try to take it easy, girl!

By Bea on Monday, July 5, 2004 - 02:31 pm:

I agree. Your DH misspoke in tentatively offering the truck. It's his responsibility to set the record straight. I wouldn't pay him though. I'd make sure he understood that things like this are what friends do for, and with each other. I think he needs to learn that lesson.

We had a boy in our neighborhood who joined us to carol from house to house because his parents told him people give you things. He thought it was a way to make money. I found that so sad.

By Mrse on Tuesday, July 6, 2004 - 12:07 am:

Yah I think you are right, 20 sounds fair to me, but, only because dh told him about the truck, we certainly can not afford to pay a regular wage for a day.I was their the day dh talked to him about the truck and at the time he did stress maybe......... and the boy said yah ok. But it is just a misunderstanding the boy will get his $20.00. Glad I talked to you guys about this I think he will be happy with the 20.

By Emily7 on Tuesday, July 6, 2004 - 01:04 am:

I hope so. Let us know what happens.