In Need of a Miracle,in the meantime a prayer
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive June 2004:
In Need of a Miracle,in the meantime a prayer
I haven't been on much due to the circumstances but I figured I could really use some prayers right now and not having friends around me I came back to all of you. I am dealing with a situation I never thought I would have to face, almost 2 weeks ago my dh left for work and never returned I got a letter from him saying he couldn't take it anymore and needed to get away,that he had done horrible things and couldn't face us. I later learned just how far in debt he had put us,apparently he has had a major gambling problem.
Our savings is done, I am noticing all the bills have not been paid in months and now on saturday I was served with an eviction notice saying I would be forced out on the 23 of the month. I have nothing and no where to go and I just don't know what to do. I spent yesterday and today packing but I don't even see the point because I have no idea where I will put everything. I have been a sahm for sometime now and I know I need to go apply for a job but then I can't figure out where my kids will go, with daycare being such an expense, how do I afford it. Thanks for staying with me this long ladies,please if you believe in the power of prayer, pray for me and my kids
Awwww, I am so sorry this has happened to you and your children. I know this is a tough situation. I just said a prayer for you & your children, God will work it all out for you. I don't know that I could do much, but if I can do anything, let me know.
(((((anon))))))
big hugs to you... I'm so sorry this has happened to you.
(((anon))) you have my prayers and thoughts.
I am so sorry this has happened. Prayer for you and your family.
Ame
Go to your local assistance offices, tell them you whole situation.
They will help you with food stamps among other things.
My prayers go out to you.
I know this doesn't sound right, but if you have credit cards, you may want to call them and cancel them (so nothing else is applied to them) and anything else you can think of.
You poor thing!!
Have you contacted an attorney? Can you move in with relatives? Can you work at a daycare that has benefits and bring your kids to work with you?
((Hugs))
Many {{{HUGS}}} and prayers coming your way! To echo the others, are there any friends or relatives who can help you out? Does your community have a Crisis Center? Do you have a church that helps families in need? I think I would also call the police and make them aware of the situation. You don't know the whereabouts of your DH, and he could be suicidal.
I am so sorry. I will be praying foe you. I just
feel so bad and wish I could help in some way.
Yes you should call a church to see what help you can get. {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}
(((HUGS)))
You have a prayer coming your way right now. I wish that I could help you out. I agree with the rest of the ladies. Find help at a Crisis Center or Church and call the Police.
Thank you all for your prayers and support. I have called many agencies but am told they are all out of funding to help,as far as family I don't have anyone close that is able to help and as sad as it is I really don't have any friends. I have not contacted an attorney because 1-I don't know what could it will do and 2- I can't afford anything I have used my only credit card with avail credit to buy food, diapers etc. I decided I will try and have a sale on saturday with hopes of making enough to get us somewhere. Thanks again for all your support, I really need it.
I can tell you that agencies always say they don't have funding...keep trying. Go to any & all churches in your community. Call the finance company & explain to them, go to a battered womans shelter. Go to DFS, there has to be something out there. Is your DH working still? Get child support started!
My prayers are with you. E-mail me if you need to. You may think you don't have any friends, but I am sure the women here disagree, we are your friends.
(((HUGS))) to you. I really hope everything turns out well. Just remember, WE are here to help you so ANYTHING you may have a question about or if you just need a person to talk to, there is ALWAYS someone on here who can fill that space. More (((HUGS))) to you.
I am so sorry to hear about your situation. The advice above sounds good. Please try to get some help. If you belong to a church, maybe someone there can help you. If you don't belong to a particular church just go to a church in your area and tell them the situation. Maybe they could guide you. If you decide to get out of the marriage and you get a lawyer, he may be able to charge his fees to your husband. Please talk to somebody. Be strong. Do it for your children. My prayers are with you.
(((hugs)))
You've gotten some good advice. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Prayers for you.
Did you try united way and churches will help out, etc. You're local Human Resource Agency will help too.
What state do you live in? In places like New York State they CANNOT just throw you out on the street unless you leave voluntarily.
If you refuse to leave the landlord must go to a court, file papers and wait for the hearing (which typically takes a month or so).
You are then entitled to a hearing with a judge.
Claim hardship with your children, etc. you will probably be granted additional time.
These laws vary by state so it's important to find out what your rights are:
http://www.rentlaw.com/statelist.htm
Free legal advice is available through Legal Aid in most states.
Search in google for
Legal Aid your-state-name
Lastly, after consulting with a Legal Aid lawyer, I suggest you speak to your landlord and explain the situation and your desire to pay the rent as soon as you are able.
apparently my husband already went to court weeks ago, I was served on sat and it states that they can and will physically remove us on the 12:01am on the 23, it is a court document and I am told there is nothing I can do, this is in PA. Thanks for the advice
Legal Aid of Southeast Penn:
1-877-429-5994
Telephone hours are Monday-Thursday, 9:00a.m.-1:00p.m
http://www.lasp.org/
You really need to go to your county agency. They will provide you will food stamps, they don't run out of money. You do have to file paper work regarding income and expenses. Please do so.
Since John posted for Legal Aid of SE Pa, I urge you to call the Department of Public Welfare immediately. Also, call your state legislator, your congressman, and call Senator Spector's office. The politicians won't do anything personally but their aides will know who to call and may make some calls for you. Whatever churches are nearby, call them. If you are church connected in any way or were church connected, call the church of that denomination and call the area/regional office of that denomination.
Yes, if your husband showed up for court (without telling you, obviously) and there was a court order, there is little you can do. However, do call the District Justice's office and explain the situation and find out if you can appeal in any way. Be sure to explain that you have no money, dependant children, and your husband has just deserted you because he had a gambling problem. Also, call Gambler's Anonymous - here is the Philadelphia hotline, and here is the web page for Pennsylvania offices: http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/mtgdirPA.html
They have undoubtedly heard this story before (damn it), and may have connections to emergency services.
Whoever you talk to, be sure to tell them the whole story - that you are a deserted mom of children, that your husband deserted you after running you into serious debt by gambling and that you are about to be evicted and have no money. Be sure to keep a list of who you talk to - agency, phone number and name of person, and what they said.
Email me - at klipvm @ rcn.com (separated to avoid skimming). I am just outside Philadelphia and still have connections in the non-profit legal assistance and personal assistance networks because of my former work with an interfaith agency in NW Philadelphia.
Have you tried section 8? It is there to help people with rent. A woman that used to rent from me only had to pay $300.00 of the $650.00 owed for rent, they payed the rest.
It generally takes at least a month to evict some one. We always gave out "3 day evictions" but they aren't really legal in the state of WY. We just give them put for the people that do not know their rights. Call about your renters rights. This is why I no longer manage!
John I will be calling the legal aid this morning, Thanks so much, and Ginny I emailed you.
thanks for all the support
((Anon))
I am also praying for you and your family. With all of the prayers from your Momsview friends, something good will happen for you.
(((ANON)))
I'm about to cry now from reading your post. You should go to the public aid (welfare) office IMMEDIATELY! If you go to day, they can probably get you an appointment in a couple of days. This way you will get emergency assistance - food stamps, perhaps cash assistance (but it's not much). Look under social services in the phone book, since it's only June some of these groups will still have assistance money left. Also, this sounds bad, but if you just go to an organization that provides homeless services, they usually only help people who are already on the streets, but a friend of mine once went there & they're much happier to see a mommie with her children BEFORE they are out on the streets & they gave her a number & told her to call right then, before they had to move & that this place could set up temporary housing for her & her kids. This way they would be on the list before they actually had to leave.
I saw her through all the way until the day she had to leave. I took her kids to my house to sleep & helped her move everything beginning at 3 in the morning & all night after that. It took her a while to get back on her feet, but now she's working & has her own place again with her 4 children.
Oh, I found this web page, you may find useful:
http://www.homelessphila.org/house.html
If it's the first time you have been faced with anything like this you will have to seek out whoever can help you. It's hard to clal places & spill your guts to them, but in order to get help, they will ask you a lot of questions. The best option would be to try & get the money SOMEHOW to pay the money owed on the mortgage or rent. If you can just stay there, you can ignore the other bills for a while (electric, phone, cable, etc) because even if the power is shut off in the house, at least you have a house! I'm serious about going to the DCF or whatever your food stamp office is, because they can send you to rent assistance places!
Please keep us updated. I can give you a lot of advice, as I have seen this firsthand. Unfortunately, so have the social service agencies & so you will have to be patient & keep trying each one you find in your phone book!!!
Oh, also, usually if you have a Jewish center in your area, they are usually very community minded & help people of all faiths. If you go there & explain to them, they'll be able to help you.
Oh, one more thing, you need to go to these places & tell them you have NOTHING~!!! On your last leg nothing. Don't be afraid to tell them that you rode in to the office on fumes & don't know where your next meal is coming from!
This page has a LOT of info!
http://www.homelessphila.org/intro.html
send me an e-mail, if you would. I would like to tell you some more things that might help you.
I just spoke to legal aid, they said there is nothing I can do because he already went to court apparently and because my name is not on the lease,she said to make sure I am out and get someplace to put all my stuff because they can put everything to the curb.I have been calling groups and churches all morning with no luck as of yet, I did speak to a wonderful lady at one church that was so kind she said she will call around for me too and offered to give me 100 dollars so I could at least put what I could in storage, I'll just wait and see what else I can figure out. Thanks again everyone for making me feel like I am not alone.
You should take the 100 dollars & get your stuff into storage! Seriously! Keep calling. Someone has money still available. They will move your stuff out if the landlord tells them that's what he wants. Usually the sheriff will coem & the landlord will change the locks. then you'll have to make arrangements with the landlord to get your stuff.
OH, and if you go to the public aid office that I was telling you abot, they should be able to get you some daycare assistance too, so that you can get a job.
Look into battered women's shelters. Nate worked at one in Indiana, as security. He said they would accept women and children all night long, when they would get dumped off at the shelter. You are/have been abused, and they should be able to help you get situated. He did say they are not in the nicest areas of town, but they are safe. How far are you and what direction from Philadelphia? I may have some options to help you from S. Jersey. If I can do anything at all, feel free to email me. Ckaiser @ hot. rr. com without the spaces.
((HUGS)) for what you are going through.
Look in the phone book for Love, Inc. We had some tenants in the past that had problems and Love, Inc. helped them out.
I really hope you can find assistance from some groups. My thoughts and prayers go out to you.
My prayers are going out for you. Please find a way to update, as I am sure you will be loosing your computer connection soon. Let us know what is happening. You can go to a local library to use a computer there.
http://www.homelessadvocacyproject.org/legal-services.shtml
The Homeless Advocacy Project (HAP) exists to meet the legal and advocacy needs of homeless individuals and families in Philadelphia. With a legal staff of five and a corps of 300 volunteer lawyers, paralegals, and law students, HAP engages in direct outreach to homeless individuals in need of legal services.
HAP's goals are to:
Provide direct civil legal services to homeless families and individuals;
Connect homeless clients with needed social services;
Advocate for the needs of Philadelphia’s homeless population and promote positive policy changes to address those needs; and
Provide legal assistance to non-profit community groups providing housing and other related services to homeless families and individuals in Philadelphia.
HAP's essential ingredient is community-based outreach to homeless persons. In the last decade, the number of homeless families and individuals in Philadelphia has continued to increase while the availability of affordable housing, as well as free legal aid and other services to the poor, has decreased. HAP’s unique outreach program is vital to a population whose legal needs would otherwise be unmet. HAP collaborates with shelter providers, homeless advocates, community service providers and the legal community.
Each month, HAP conducts eight to sixteen legal clinics at shelters and soup kitchens located throughout the City. At these clinics, HAP’s staff and volunteers meet and interview prospective clients, assess their legal needs, provide advice and referrals for services, and offer on-going legal representation and advocacy to those with more complex problems. HAP currently holds legal clinics at twenty homeless shelters and soup kitchens.
HAP also makes educational presentations to shelter residents and service providers to inform them of benefits and services available for homeless people, and to empower individuals to obtain benefits and services for themselves.
Through these efforts, HAP is often instrumental in helping homeless men and women obtain the access to shelter, income, and services they need to begin making their way to more secure, stable lives.
Homeless Advocacy Project
1424 Chestnut Street
Philadelphia, PA 19102
Phone: (215) 523-9595 or (800) 837-2672
Fax: (215) 981-3866
Email: marsha@philalegal.org
http://www.homelessphila.org/house.html
Emergency Shelter & Services
EMERGENCY SHELTER PROGRAMS
There are a wide variety of temporary and long-term shelter programs. Some of these shelters are publicly funded through OESS and others are privately subsidized. Admission criteria are different for each shelter and some shelters specialize in certain populations. Publicly funded shelters rely on OESS to coordinate and approve admissions.
City Shelter Programs:
Office of Emergency Shelter and Services (OESS)
In Philadelphia, the OESS office is part of the City government. OESS is responsible for the assessment and placement of homeless men, women and families into city funded homeless programs. The following are OESS intake locations:
Women and Families
Monday through Friday OESS Offices
9:00 AM - 4:00 PM 141 N. Juniper Street
Philadelphia, PA 19107
686-7150; 686-7151; 686-7152
Monday through Friday Eliza Shirley House
4:00 PM - 9:00 AM 1320 Arch Street
Saturdays, Sundays and Philadelphia, PA 19107
holidays all day 568-5111
Men
24hrs. Ridge Avenue Shelter
Every day 1360 Ridge Avenue
Philadelphia, PA 19107
236-0909
Private Shelter Programs:
Information should be obtained by phone before clients are referred.
Families/Women
Mercy Hospice (women, single or with children)
334 S. 13th Street
Philadelphia, PA 19107
545-5153
People's Emergency Center (families, single women, teen girls)
3902 Spring Garden Street
Philadelphia, PA 19104
382-7522
Wayne Hall
Germantown
(215) 844-7116
Men Only
Brotherhood Mission Bethesda Shelter
401 E. Girard Avenue 802 N. Broad St.
Philadelphia, PA 19125 Philadelphia, PA 19146
739-4517 (215) 236-0812
St. Francis Inn (no longer a shelter - omit) St. John's Hospice
2441 Kensington Avenue 1221 Race Street
Philadelphia, PA 19125 Philadelphia, PA 19107
423-5845 563-7763
Sunday Breakfast Association Whosoever Gospel Mission
(move to substance abuse)
302 N. 13th Street 101 E. Chelten Avenue
Philadelphia, PA 19105 Philadelphia, PA 19144
922-6400 438-3094
Gateway Service Center (OESS only - omit) Ontario St. Baptist Mission
907 Hamilton Street 114 W. Ontario St. (Kensington)
Philadelphia, PA 19107 Philadelphia, PA
236-7381 (215) 426-0190
Youth
Voyage House Department of Human Services
1431 Lombard Street Division of Children and Youth
Philadelphia, PA 19146 1401 Arch Street
545-2910 Philadelphia, PA 19102
686-9694/95
Hotline: (215) 683-6100
Covenant House Youth Emergency Services
417 Callowhill Street Fairmount Ave.
Philadelphia, PA 19123 Philadelphia, PA
(215) 923-8350 (215) 787-0633
Hotline: 1 (800) 999-9999
Non-Residents
Persons in Philadelphia for less than 30 days are considered non-residents and are not eligible for city-funded services. Individuals will be referred to Traveler’s Aid Society for assistance in returning to their place of residence. Persons seeking to establish residence in Philadelphia must prove that they have been in the city for 30 days to be eligible for city-funded services.
Traveler's Aid Society
121 N. Broad Street
Suite 1001
523-7580
Abused Women
Laurel House Women Against Abuse
PO Box 764 PO Box 13758
Norristown, PA 19404 Philadelphia, PA 19101
386-7777
Homeless Outreach Programs
Outreach Coordination Center
1515 Fairmount Ave.
Philadelphia, PA 19130
(215) 232-7272
Hotline: (215) 232-1984
Coordinates city-funded outreach services to chronically homeless individuals who are at-risk on the street and who are unable to access housing and services without help. Conducts emergency weather outreach in the winter and summer (Code Blue/Code Red). Dispatches an outreach team in response to calls about homeless persons on the street who may need help.
Philadelphia Committee to End Homelessness
802 N. Broad St.
Philadelphia, PA 19130
(215) 232-2300
Covenant House
Old St. Joe’s Outreach
321 Willing’s Alley
Philadelphia, PA 19106
923-2381
DAY PROGRAMS
Day programs can assist homeless persons in accessing shelter and social services. Additional services are also often available on-site, such as showers, clothing, health and social work services.
Philadelphia Committee to End Homelessness
802 N. Broad Street
Philadelphia, PA 19130
232-2300
Showers, clothing, mailing address, telephone and employment services
University City Hospitality Coalition
3741 Walnut Street - Box 410
Philadelphia, PA 19104
238-6454
Referrals to emergency services; mailing address, clothing
Gateway Services Center
907 Hamilton Street
Philadelphia, PA 19107
236-7381
Shelter for men; includes a day program for men and women
Mercy Hospice (Women only)
334 S. 13th Street
Philadelphia, PA 19146
545-5153
Lunch daily; social services, phone, shower and clothes
Old St. Joseph’s Church (Men only)
321 Willing’s Alley
Philadelphia, PA 19106
923-2381
Mon: case management, social services
Tues/Wed/Thurs: meals
Fri: case management, social services, clothing and toiletries
St. John’s Hospice (Men only)
1221 Race St.
Philadelphia, PA 19
563-7763
Mon-Fri.: Lunch
Introduction | Hotlines | Emergency Shelter & Services | Health |
Mental Health | Substance Abuse | Transitional & Permanent Housing |
Benefits & Entitlements | Employment & Training | Additional Services|
Resources Homepage
http://www.homelessphila.org/
I would call them up and explain the situation.
Greater Philadelphia Urban Affairs Coalition
1207 Chestnut Street - Philadelphia, PA 19107
Tel: 215-851-1847
Fax: 215-851-1965
http://www.libertynet.com/rol/template4.asp?type=linkurl&abbr=homeless
Here are the websites that matched your search criteria.
Bethesda Project
http://www.netaxs.com/people/bethesda/
Dedicated to the plight of homeless men and women of Philadelphia.
Diversified Community Services
http://www.libertynet.org/~dcsphila
A multi-service, multi-site non-profit social service organization that provides human services to the residents of South Philadelphia. Services include camping, day care, homeless prevention, employment, delinquency & more.
Greater Philadelphia Food Bank
http://www.libertynet.org/~gpfb
Southeastern Pennsylvanias primary provider of donated food for agencies that serve the needy in the Philadelphia area.
Homeless Advocacy Project
http://www.libertynet.org/~hap
A legal aid organization providing free legal services through volunteers to homeless individuals and families, and to non-profit community groups developing affordable housing and other services for the homeless.
Let Everyone Eat
http://www.geocities.com/CollegePark/Library/6643/
VOLUNTEER IN PHILADELPHIA over the holidays at an agency which offers food to the needy!!! We compiled this directory with our Wharton Management 100 class at UPenn.
Philabundance
http://www.philabundance.org
A not-for-profit organization that has been serving the Greater Philadelphia region since 1984. We help fight hunger by reclaiming nutritious surplus food from restaurants, grocers, caterers, wholesalers and manufacturers.
Philadelphia Committee to end Homelessness
http://www.libertynet.org/pch
privately funded organization working for the elimination of homelessness
Philadelphians Concerned About Housing
http://www.pcah.org
Philadelphians Concerned About Housing (PCAH) is a nonprofit agency that helps homeless, low income and single parent families reach self-sufficiency by providing comprehensive social services in tandem with safe, decent and affordable housing.
Project H.O.M.E.
http://members.aol.com/prjhome/
A nonprofit organization that provides housing and services to chronically homeless men and women in Philadelphia. Also involved in homelessness prevention through community development, education, and advocacy.
Emergency Numbers in the Philadelphia Area
The Philadelphia Bar Association's Homeless Advocacy Project's mission is to provide free legal services through volunteers to homeless people, and to non-profit community groups developing affordable housing and other services for the homeless.
Advocacy | Courts | Criminal | Driver's License
Housing | Immigration | Public Benefits | Shelters
Student Loans | Taxes | Women/Children | Outreach |
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ADVOCACY
Homeless Advocacy Project
1424 Chestnut Street
Philadelphia, Pa 19102
(215) 523-9595
Community Legal Services
1424 Chestnut Street
Philadelphia, Pa 19102
(215) 981-3700
Philadelphia Legal Assistance
1424 Chestnut Street
Philadelphia, Pa 19102
(215) 981-3800
Defender Association of Philadelphia
1441 Sanson Street
Philadelphia, PA 19102
(215) 568-3190
(Criminal Matters)
Lawyer Referral and Information Service
1101 Market Street
Philadelphia, PA 19107
(215) 238-6333
(Fee Generating)
Legal Services of New Jersey
Camden Regional Office
530 Cooper Street
Camden, NJ
(609) 964-2010 ext. 283
Women Against Abuse
P.O. Box 13758
Philadelphia, PA 19102
(215) 386-7777
http://www.phmc.org/housing/transithousing.html
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H.E.L.P Philadelphia
HUD Supportive Housing Program
H.E.L.P Philadelphia
H.E.L.P. Philadelphia is a transitional, low-income housing complex located in West Philadelphia. The facility provides 50 transitional apartments for homeless families and 40 permanent townhouses for low-income families. The program is a partnership between HELP USA, the largest provider of transitional housing in New York City, Community Council 4, a local base service unit and PHMC. The overall operation of the transitional housing facility and all supportive services are managed and administered by PHMC. The intent of the program is to assist these families in becoming increasingly self-sufficient and independent through the acquisition of life management skills to permanently break the cycle of homelessness and substance abuse. An empowerment focus undergirds the program.
Comprehensive services are provided on site including day care, health services, and intensive case management. Families are eligible for the program who are formerly homeless, single heads of households, have no more than two children, may be in recovery for substance abuse and are willing to accept intensive case management services. Persons affected by HIV are also accepted.
For more information, please contact:
Shirley Robinson
Project Director
(215) 473-7451
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HUD Supportive Housing Program
The Supportive Housing Program, funded by the Department of Housing and Urban Development, addresses the need for supportive services for homeless persons who are moving from shelter into transitional or permanent housing. The following populations are served through this program:
Large families (four or more children)
Persons in recovery from substance abuse
Persons with HIV/AIDS
The overall purpose of the project is to support clients in their transition from shelter to transitional or permanent housing. The program provides coordinated and comprehensive case management services necessary to address the myriad needs of the homeless and thereby break the cycle of homelessness. Services assist the participants in maintaining their transitional housing as well as prepare them for permanent housing, employment and ultimately self-sufficiency.
Clients who may have been living on the street or who may never have had a home of their own need support and services when they obtain housing. Assistance in budgeting, parenting, obtaining job training or employment, negotiation with landlords, and other issues is necessary. For clients who have a history of substance abuse, the danger of relapse is high. Supportive services during the transition process can intervene before small challenges turn into overwhelming problems, and can help the client develop the skills necessary for living independently. Currently, most case management services terminate when the client obtains permanent housing. When possible, the project provides follow-up services into permanent housing.
The major source of referrals is the Tenant's Rental Assistance Corporation (TRAC) via the City's Office of Emergency Shelter and Services (OESS). Persons moving directly from shelter to Section 8 housing are also eligible for services.
For more information, please contact:
Deborah McMillan
Director of Social Services
(215) 985-2559
deborah@phmc.org
My husband house burned down and the red cross gave them so much. (motel, food vouchers for local restaurants, clothes, everything.) They said they might have homeless services in your area.
http://www.redcross.org/where/where.html
I am sending hugs and prayers-I hope you can find some help for you and your family.
How is it going, were you able to get some help, through the lists that the girls gave you? Hope you found some help, thinking of you , and your family.
Just wanted to let everyone know what was going on. I have had no luck with calls, mostly because most of these programs are out of funds to help or you have to live in philly to get help, and I am about 20 min. from philly, closer to Trenton.
But now I am faced with another choice and I could really use an ousiders advice. My husband called yesterday and asked to come home and talk with me, I had him wait until the kids went to bed because I didn't want to upset them and have him leave again. We talked most of the night about what he had done, he says he's been talking to someone about it and getting help. He went back to work today and gave me the money he had left,360.00 so I can at least get a storage unit for all the stuff in the house. I just don't know what to do, do I work this out with him, I don't know if I can ever trust him again. But then I think of my kids and the fact that we have been together since I was 16 and I just can't think clearly. I love him with all my heart and up until this we have had what I thought was a great relationship, but the fact that he did this and has caused us to loose everything, I just don't know, I could really use some advice. You are all so wonderful I don't know what I would have done without your support.
I don't know what I would tell you to do in this case!!! It's tough. Only you know how in love with your husband you are. He deserted you and the kids! If you think that he really wants to help & be a unit again, maybe (also, you don't have much of a choice since things are how they are). Even if you don't think so, you can do a "sleeping with the enemy" and let him come back home so you can all get on your feet again. In the meantime, save some money, get your own bank account if you can.
Or, get back together with him & then make it so that if he DOES leave again & desert you, you will be ok. You have to think that way now. It may never happen, but you can feel secure knowing that if it did, you'd be ok!
Please - he must call Gamblers Anonymous immediately and set up an immediate appointment. If you can get your major stuff into storage and he can locate a place for you and the kids to live for a short period until something is begun on sorting stuff out, then by all means take advantage of it. No matter what, you and your furniture are going to be out on the street on June 23rd unless he can pay all the back rent, court costs, and whatever else the landlord demands before that date. (Which I wouldn't count on.) But he must (1) admit he has a problem, (2) admit he cannot control it without help and (3) seek help. Gamblers Anonymous is the best source I know for the kind of help he needs. The next thing he needs to do is to put the bank account in your name only and give you his paycheck every time he gets it, with you giving him a cash allowance. You also need to cut up all credit cards and in writing, signed by both of you, cancel all credit cards. Your husband should not have access to any credit or bank accounts or loans of any kind with your signature on them.
Gambling is an addiction and, like any other addiction, the addict will find all kinds of rationalizations to justify his/her behavior. You have two children to protect (as well as yourself) and that is your first job. By my reckoning, your husband comes fourth and last in terms of who has to be taken care of.
And, you should call Gambler's Anonymous and find out if they have support groups for "second hand" victims of gambling like you. Here is the web page for New Jersey: http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/mtgdirNJ.html
The web page for Pennsylvania is http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/mtgdirPA.html
I can't advise you whether to give your husband another chance or not. I do advise you to take whatever help you can get so that you and the kids have a roof over your heads on June 24th (especially given how heavy it is raining in NJ and SE PA this month, and only then start working on the counseling, etc. that you and your dh will need to work this out.
I wish I could tell you what to do, but you know your DH better than any of us here. If it were me, I would make him get help. If he did this, then I might consider it. I wish you all the luck in the world sweetie.
Good luck anon. I hope your marriage can be saved and that things work out for you.
http://mywebpages.comcast.net/mikeswayze/commres.html
www.catholiccharitiescamden.org.
http://www.catholiccharitiesinfo.org/states/PA.htm
http://www.hud.gov/local/pa/homeless/shelters.cfm
http://www.gtii.com/members/lannin/shelters/pa.htm
http://www.nationalhomeless.org/local/pennsylvania.html
These are for Central and South NJ, Eastern PA, and all state. Please keep calling, there will be something you just have to keep trying.
I agree with Ginny, but I also think that if you two get back together, you need to (do everything ahe said - AND) make sure that you are in a position to be self sufficient if something does happen! Maybe a part time job, that could turn into full time if you need to!
I don't believe you can go into a shelter with him.
Someone correct me if I am wrong.
http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&q=new+jersey+homeless
I am now looking under new jersey homeless family
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/ofa/nj.htm
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New Jersey
(1) Does the State's TANF program define homelessness? If so, what is the definition?
New Jersey's Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) program does not define homelessness as such, but enumerates a number of situations in which emergency assistance (EA) may be provided to alleviate actual or imminent homelessness under these circumstances. Please refer to the pages one through three of the Work First New Jersey (WFNJ) Manual for this enumeration.
(2) Does the State keep track of the number of homeless families who receive TANF? If so, what are the most recent data available?
The State does track the number of homeless families who receive TANF, provided they have requested EA for their housing problems.
(3) Does the State's TANF program provide for targeted cash benefits or services to cover the needs of homeless families? If so, describe these cash benefits or services.
New Jersey's TANF program provides both targeted cash benefits and services to cover the needs of homeless families. All payments are vendor payments, and may be made for emergency shelter, food, clothing, furniture; back rent or utility arrearages; security and utility deposits; storage, moving expenses and travel connected with a housing search.
The targeted payments or services listed above are also provided to TANF families who are at risk of becoming homeless.
(4) Does the State's TANF program provide benefits or services targeted to families who are at-risk of becoming homeless (e.g., payment of a rent arrearage)? Please describe these benefits or services.
The targeted payments or services listed above are also provided to TANF families who are at risk of becoming homeless.
(5) Describe services furnished to families in temporary shelter arrangements, including services to transition families to permanent housing. Are these services provided by the TANF agency or by other agencies? If other agencies are involved in the delivery of transitional services to families, how are services coordinated?
Families in temporary shelter arrangement must develop a service plan that details how a family will take steps to identify permanent housing, which includes a number of house searches a week. The county or municipal welfare agency are responsible for developing this service plan with the family or individual. This plan shall also include the provision of the following specified services: Information and referral, assistance in securing shelter, including transportation, assistance in arranging for child care, and referral for legal services. There may be other agencies involved in the provision of transitional services to families. These services are usually coordinated through County Comprehensive Emergency Assistance Services (CEAS) committees that exist, whose charge is to plan and coordinate services to the homeless.
http://www.hud.gov/local/index.cfm?state=nj&topic=homeless
Help hotline - NJ Homelessness Prevention: (609) 633-6204
Shelters and emergency housing
Emergency rental assistance
Help with your utility bills
Food and Clothing
Food stamp hotline
Meals
Clothing
Jobs and Training
Skills training and counseling
Job placement and assistance
GED programs
New Jersey State Employment & Training Commission (SETC)
More job training programs
Other New Jersey Resources
Homeless service organizations
Local advocacy groups
Legal assistance
Social Security offices
United Way
New Jersey Human Services Hotlines
http://nch.ari.net/local/local.html
Directory of Local Homeless Service Organizations
http://www.redcross.org/where/where.html
red cross homeless locate a shelter
http://peerta.acf.hhs.gov/pdf/New_Jersey_homeless.pdf
On the bottom of page number to call about possible emergency assistance.
also google
for
new jersey eviction family emergency assistance
add your county such as bergen county.
I am going to call the number and see if the assistance is dried up. Maybe you misunderstood them....
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