Normally I don't like to post anything related to religion, but this takes the cake. Is my judgement off here?

This happened a couple months back, but I cannot get it out of my mind. It is sort of "eating at me". I brought my ds to Sunday school for the first time in his life. His experience was not good. In fact he never wants to go back. My dh brought him to Sunday school, when I picked him up, I could tell right away he looked a little pale and he was thirsty. I could not believe how unfriendly the people were. Not the pastor, he was very nice but the Sunday school teacher, and alot of others were very unfriendly, in fact I tried to make conversation with her and she basically ignored me and proceeded to talk with another lady. Hello, we are new here? I have been to other churches before and EVERYONE has always been kind and courteous and WELCOMING. I really am in shock. I am trying to do a good thing here and it has backfired. We live in a tiny town, this church is close to us. We do not go to church on a regular basis but want our children to experience/learn about the bible so when they grow up they have a good concept of the bible and can make their own choices. Do the children normally have a snack and maybe juice or something? I would think so. I have also found that Sunday school is usually very fun and exciting. Am I off here? Also, I like to go to church on Easter, Christmas etc....truly I will never go back to that church again either. I did try to convince my ds to try it out one more time, but forget it. What's is done.

I know Kenna teaches Sunday school. That is what triggered my emotions. Her class sounds fun, creative, exciting and very friendly. Also alot of people talk about their churches, the people sound so very nice... I don't know, what do you all advise.

By Texannie on Tuesday, April 20, 2004 - 10:40 am:

What exactly happened to your son that has him so upset? Sometimes my kids would have snack at SS and sometimes not. It's only an hour, maybe 2 at the most so it's not like they will starve. ;) Was the woman engaged in a converation when you tried to talk to her? Did your husband go in and introduce your child or just drop him off? Are you sure they didn't do games or activities? I think it's awfully hard to judge on just one visit.

By Yjja123 on Tuesday, April 20, 2004 - 10:41 am:

We had a similar experience years ago trying out a new church. Luckily I sat in on the sunday school so I knew exactly what was said and done. It was shocking. The teacher told the kids that the kids in columbine played video games and that the violence they learned made them commit horrible acts. She proceeded to tell them ALL video games are evil. My daughter walked out asking me if she was going to h@ll because she owned Playstation.
It really shook me up and I am sad to say we did not try any other churches. We read from the bible and the kids are now homeschooled and are doing bible study.
I am thinking of trying again with another church.
Good luck with whatever you decide! I am sorry that you had to go through this.

By Debbie on Tuesday, April 20, 2004 - 10:48 am:

My ds's both go to sunday school. Now, they do not serve snacks, but it is just 1 to 1-1/2 hours long. However, it is very fun and exciting. They sing lots of songs, do an art project and even run around and play games in the gym. Both my ds's love going. I especially love the teacher that is in charge of the younger kids. She is so great with them.

I would definitely try and find another church if you were not happy with the way you were treated. It sounds like they are not very welcoming to newcomers. My church and most of the ones that I have been a member of do want you to commit to being at sunday school each week. The teachers take a lot of time to plan the lessons and they need to know how many dks they are going to have each week. At our church we actually have to register and pay a small fee($10) to attend. Is sunday school something that you are committing to each week or do you just want to take your son every once in a while when you attend church?? This may make a difference. Did you arrange in advance to take him, or did you just drop him off??? It still doesn't excuse the way they treated him or you. I would just try and find another church that you are more comfortable with.

By Mommyathome on Tuesday, April 20, 2004 - 10:58 am:

Our church block of meetings is 3 hours each Sunday. First, *everyone* meets for an hour (sacrament meeting). Then we are all split into age groups for Sunday school which lasts for an hour, and finally the men go to priesthood and the women to relief society and the kids to primary. The only ones to receive snacks during class time is the nursery (ages 2 and under). But, the parents can feel free to take small snacks to sacrament meeting if they feel their kids need them.
My kids are 5,4 and 2 and they go for the 3 hour block without a snack. We just eat before church and they are fine.
How long was the Sunday school that your son went to?
I agree that if you aren't comfortable with that church, just move on and find another church.

By Cat on Tuesday, April 20, 2004 - 11:24 am:

I'm sorry it was such an awful experience. Our younger kids have snack, but the older ones (over kindergarten) usually don't. Our church is from 10am until about 11:30am. The older kids (and some of the younger ones) start out in chuch with us for the worship/music part. Then they're released to Children's Church right before the sermon--usually about 10:30 or so. I think you need to find a different church. When I was church hunting when we first got here, I went alone. I left the kids home with dh and checked the church out first. I visited the children's room and talked to the children's workers. I was very fortunate and the first church I went to is the one we still attend. The only way to discribe it was when I walked in it felt like we belonged there. I still feel that way. We're a small chuch and it truely is like family. When we lived in Maryland we had to leave a church there because the children's service wasn't good. They had a husband/wife team leading it with a few teen helpers, but there were like 100 kids there ranging in age from 4-13, no joke. The adult leaders would humilate the kids if they didn't "behave" like they were supposed to and I wasn't keeping my kids there. (I sat in on a couple of their services) Good luck finding another church. {{{{{Hugs}}}}}

By Ladypeacek on Tuesday, April 20, 2004 - 11:39 am:

I advise finding a church that you are comfortable with. My pastor just did a sermon on this kind of thing. How some churches get so set in certain things they become like a click in high school and forget what the purpose is. Our church is a very good church especially to new people. We have such a turnaround being in another country with 99% military so it is important to be open to new people and make sure they learn what they can. We do this by opening our arms to everyone, saved or not. My class of kids ranges from 10 kids to 30 kids depending on the week, lol! There are new kids every week which is why i did the perfect friend lesson so when everyone left they knew someone new and the new kids had a friend. That made it wonderful for them. Our class is 2 hours and yes i always have a snack for them, and i ALWAYS tie it to the lesson, they seem to get the stories better when i find something to relate it to! I have been to churches that are so caught up in themselves that they rarely noticed new people! That is very uncomfortable and IMO not very christian!
If you decide to try a new church i would suggest maybe going yourself and checking out the childrens church first so that your son does not have a rotten time again, that can be very destructive to his faith as he gets older!

By Coopaveryben on Tuesday, April 20, 2004 - 12:44 pm:

You were at the wrong church.Suanday school is supposed to be fun and make them want to go to church. I would advise visiting services first to get a feel for the people and then once you feel comfortable take him to Sunday school at a church you feel comfortable with, stay with him if you want to. I'm so sorry this happened to you but I have no doubt God wants you somewhere but this doesn't sound like the place. I would also let the Pastor know what happened, I have been the Sunday School Super. for 2 years and I would certainly need to know if the children and especially the teacher acted this way to anyone, let alone to someone new.

By Conni on Tuesday, April 20, 2004 - 01:13 pm:

I always try a church a couple of times before I completely write it off. Because either I could have an off day, or some of the people at church could have an off day. I think it can be overwhelming to a child the first time or two as well.

Pray about it. Ask the Lord where he wants your family. Maybe you could help this church--maybe they need a great SS school teacher and you could be the one. Or maybe you could get on the committee that welcomes new comers!! Since you know how it feels.

I just took over a 5/6 grade class on Wednesday nights. Oh myyyyyy those kids are full of energy and hormones... Should be ineresting. Their teacher had been teaching for 18 mos straight with NO BREAK! He was burned out.

Talk with your dh and see how he feels about it too. My kids dont dictate where we go to church because they had a bad experience. If that were the case we wouldnt be going to our church now. LOL My oldest has had trouble in SS before (he's ADHD)... Of course he also wouldnt be in school right now either because he insists the teacher only picks on him. We just keep working with him. And they dont get snack after K at our church. We are there 2 hrs (SS and then they go to childrens church). They sure do eat a good lunch on Sunday. ;) They always eat a good brkfst before we leave the house too.

As for the teacher, she may have just been filling in for someone else and clueless, or she may just not have good people skills. OR she may be dingy like me and cant carry on 2 conversations at once. LOL You are right, there is really no excuse for her not talking with you or she could have said 'I'll be with you in a moment please'? Some people! I usually just keep standing around tho until they realize they are gonna HAVE to talk to me because I am not leaving until they do. lol

I hope you can find some peace about this and I hope you find the church you are suppose to be at soon.

By Mommmie on Tuesday, April 20, 2004 - 01:16 pm:

Similar thing happened to my son, then 6, in two different ways. First, I signed him up for Religious Education (Catholic's version of Sunday School) paid my $45 dollars and he went 5 times. He hated it. The volunteer teachers were totally untrained. My son has learning disabilities and was not reading at 6 and they expected them to be reading in the kindergarten classroom. Every week was the same boring thing, read a Jesus story, color a worksheet with Jesus in it, make a silly little crafts project with Jesus in it and have a snack and - boom - the hour is over. My son HATED it. The teacher suggested I take him out as he was so unhappy. I did. Haven't been back. He's in 3rd grade now.

At the same time, he was enrolled in a private religious school for kindergarten (not Catholic, but Christian). They put the FEAR of God into him. If you don't do your HW, you're going to hell, if you don't be quiet, you're going to hell, if you don't attend Sunday School, you're going to hell (remember Catholics don't do Sunday School and RE isn't every Sunday and he was given a "zero" on those Sundays there was no RE). The teacher, again, totally untrained, no education degree, no teaching certificate, no teaching experience. I took him out of there after 2 months.

So, we're not much into organized religion, although we are spiritual people.

By Texannie on Tuesday, April 20, 2004 - 02:13 pm:

Conni said what I wanted to, but so much better!

By Momaroze on Tuesday, April 20, 2004 - 03:22 pm:

Texannie, and all, I did pre-arrange for my ds to go to Sunday school. It was a strange phone call, because when I called the lady was basically silent meaning, she did not give me any information I had to ask all the questions. She told me to just bring him on Sunday morn. I asked her if she was the Sunday school teacher and she said no. Anyways, the Sunday school teacher was sitting on a bench beside another lady, yes they were talking but clearly idle chit chat. I looked at her with a big smile on my face and introduced myself, I wanted to ask her how things went, but at that point I just wanted to get out of there. I don't think it was an off day for me or them. As far as my ds goes, he doesn't tell me much about anything unlike our other ds. He is 6. They did do a little cut out craft, but he said it was more like school, boring. He also said one of the little boy's there was being very mean to him, I asked him what the teacher did about it. I don't think anything but I cannot say for sure because I wasn't there. I know what you mean about judging in just one visit but for a church I thought once was enough for me. My dh CERTAINLY did introduce our ds to her and also stayed for a bit to make sure he was comfortable. I know it is a long story and I did expect questions?

We are not much into organized religion either...but are spiritual too. We know of people who go to church every Sunday but in between don't practice there faith. Thanks for all the replies, I hope I have covered most of the questions? My eldest ds goes to Summer bible camp, which is loads of fun and lots of learning and exploring, he loves it. This Summer my 6 yr old will be of age to go, I believe. Maybe I will just stick to that for now. Thanks all.

By Momaroze on Tuesday, April 20, 2004 - 03:26 pm:

I have taken everyones reply into consideration. I also harbour no anger towards anyone at the church. It was just a strange experience.

By Ladypeacek on Tuesday, April 20, 2004 - 04:19 pm:

I am so sad that your experience was bad. I love going to church but if you are more comfortable being spiritual at home then thats what works for you. My mother does not go to church either, its not comfortable for her, although she would like our church here in England but thats not an option !! I think God can be anywhere, not just at church!!! You will know where the right place for you is! Its great that you tried for your kids! i hope they have a great time at camp!!

By Texannie on Tuesday, April 20, 2004 - 05:04 pm:

I am sorry that it didn't work out either. Hope you find something that works for your family.

By Pamt on Tuesday, April 20, 2004 - 10:08 pm:

I'm sorry you had a bad experience. I would definitely let someone on the church staff know, even if you don't plan on going there. Sunday school should be enjoyable, newcomers should be made to feel very welcome, and kids should learn something too! Both of my boys love to go to Sunday school. Maybe try another church and see if it is a better fit. I do beleive that God is everywhere and not just in church, but He also isn't a fan of "lone ranger" Christians...we need to get together as a body for worship, encouragement, and fellowship. Hope you have a better experience next time!

P.S., I have never in my life heard of paying for Sunday school. What's up with that? Not trying to be offensive---just very surprised.