Would you think a 13 year old would know phone manners?
My 13 year old son is in boyscouts. When there is something going on, one boy in the group will call the rest of the boys.
The same boy "A" will do the calling.(Well the last few months he is the one calling).
Last night the phone rings I said "Hello", he said "Hello"(then silence),again I said "Hello",and he said "Hello"(now granted I knew it was from the caller ID)so I was a little annoyed and said "Who are you looking for?"Then he finally proceeded to say this was "A" from boyscouts and I need to talk to "M"...
Now granted, I knew who he wanted to talk too, but he does this thing with the Hello back and forth each time he calls. My son is not friends with him outside the boyscouts, meaning it is not like he calls here all the time.
Maybe I am expecting too much. I would expect after I said "hello" he should of asked to speak to my son,not go with the hello game back and forth..
I know it is really no big deal, but I figured at 13 they should have more manners.

By Kaye on Saturday, January 5, 2008 - 09:50 am:

Well that is his patrol leader calling. Part of why they have to make those calls is to learn that stuff. Now if it were my son I would be sitting with him and coaching him. but I guess after a couple of months I would assume he knew what to do. I might jokingly mention it to his mom, ya know, like it is so funny when your son calls, you can tell he just isn't used to be on the phone.

My kids do not really know phone manners. The oldest is almost 14 and she is figuring it out. But they don't use the phone. They are starting too, and they are starting to learn, but it i a pet peeve of my when I call someones house and their child answers the phone (under 12), so I didn't have my kids do the same. But when they hit intermediate, I do help them start making phone calls.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Saturday, January 5, 2008 - 10:00 am:

I would assume at 13, he has heard other people use the phone enough that he is aware of how it works.

My kids only answer the phone if it is a situation where DH and I aren't able to and we ask them to grab the phone. I am working on making "business" calls with my DS at 15, so he is use to talking to people he doesn't personally know on the phone. I have him call businesses to ask questions for me.. etc. I have pet peeve's about the phone too..

By Jackie on Saturday, January 5, 2008 - 10:02 am:

I guess I just expect too much then LOL.. When my son has to go call somebody in the group, he will say "What am I suppose to say?"... I tell him. I usually tell him to say his name "Hi this is "M" can I talk to "A" ? He does not use the phone much either. Even when he has to call one of the leaders and ask a question, he always states his name first "This is "M" and I have a question about ,xyz..etc..

By Cat on Saturday, January 5, 2008 - 10:05 am:

To me it sounds like he's trying to be a little smart-alec. However, it isn't appropriate and his parents shouldn't let it continue. For the most part, my 12 and 14yo's have really good phone manners. Robin does this little thing where if he answers the phone and it's not for him he'll say, "I'm handing you over to him/her now". It's kind of weird, but not really rude so I just let it go. With him, sometimes ya just have to do that. I hope people that call don't think it's rude!

By Debbie on Saturday, January 5, 2008 - 10:26 am:

Well, phone manners have to be taught. I have been working with my 7 and 9 year old lately. They don't use the phone much. They just like to call the neighbors to see if they can play. In the beginning, I would sit with them when they called, and help them. Now, they are okay with calling themselves. My dks hardly ever answer the phone. If they do, they have been taught to say just a minute, and get either dh or I, depending on who the call is for. It sounds like noone has taught him how to use the phone. If you know his mother well enough, can you talk to her about it? You are nicer then me, if he just said Hello, and then didn't say anything, I would probably just hang up.

By Pamt on Saturday, January 5, 2008 - 10:48 am:

Wow! I started teaching my kids phone manners about 1st or 2nd grade. They have excellent phone manners if I do say so myself. I don't think that this is an issue of manners as much as it may be phone related nervousness. I know I HATED to talk on the phone to people I didn't know well all through high school even. It's better now, but I'm still not big on talking on the phone except to people I know really well. I think he's just nervous. I would cut him a little slack and use it as an opportunity to teach your son to have better phone manners.

By Colette on Saturday, January 5, 2008 - 11:49 am:

I think he's probably just nervous. I've had a lot of kids call the house and the boys always are a bit off on the phone.

By Ginny~moderator on Saturday, January 5, 2008 - 11:51 am:

Even before I saw Collette's post, I was thinking that this kid may be a bit nervous, *and* wasn't taught phone manners. I don't know that I would expect a 13 year old to have phone manners. It would depend on (a) whether the kid's parents noticed his lack of phone manners and (b) cared enough to teach him.

I'm sure you know as many adults as I do who don't have what I consider good phone manners. My favorite is the person who, when I answer the phone, says "who's this?". To which I respond - who are you and who are you calling?

You might chat with the Scoutmaster about phone manners if you run into him some time, saying that you are working on teaching your son and it might be a good lesson for all the boys.

By Tink on Saturday, January 5, 2008 - 12:28 pm:

I'm with Pam. We started working on phone manners at 1st grade, which is when both of my girls started getting calls and wanting to talk on the phone to their friends. The phone calls themselves drive me nuts since they talk about absolutely nothing but I wanted them to be able to dial a phone number, say hello, give their names and ask for their friends without irritating the other parents. My ds still asks for a prompt before making a call but my girls can call their friends and sound like they know what they are doing. My 10yo dd has two friends with terrible phone manners, playing the hello game and yelling into the phone EVERY time they call, and I get plenty irritated with them each time. Most of her friends are able to make a call just fine so I think it's perfectly appropriate to expect a 13yo to be able to make a call, especially if he's taken on that responsibility for the scout troop.

By Insaneusmcwife on Saturday, January 5, 2008 - 12:45 pm:

Ugh I hate it when we get those "who's this?" phone calls. I find it incredibly rude! We have been lucky with ds friends when they call. He doesn't get very many calls but when he does that are polite and right to the point.

By Marcia on Saturday, January 5, 2008 - 01:09 pm:

My girls have been answering the phone for years, and the oldest is only 14. They know to say "Hello. May I please speak to....?" They know to say, "Fine thanks. How are you?", when someone calls and asks them. They also know to say, "Just a minute, please", while they call us to the phone. Of course I had to drill it into them when they started answering the phone. People have always commented on how polite they are.
So, no, I don't think 13 is too early to know phone manners.

By Mrsheidi on Saturday, January 5, 2008 - 02:43 pm:

I wonder if he knows you have caller ID?

By Karen~admin on Saturday, January 5, 2008 - 06:45 pm:

I agree that a boy that age *should* have been taught phone manners by now, but I am of the thought that he's nervous and uncomfortable making those calls in particular, or speaking to someone's parents on the phone.

By Dana on Sunday, January 6, 2008 - 07:03 am:

Sounds like no one has taught him. I would put the blame on the parents for not teaching him so that he can feel safe making these calls and do it properly.

I also hate when parent's don't teach the kids that you don't call the same number 5 times within an hour. Or call, talk, hang up, call back, talk, hang up, call back...on and on. When this happens, I just tell DD "if I hear that phone ring one more time, I'm picking up and telling them you can't talk any more"

And with a friend of mines house, it used to be when I called I would say "this is Miss Dana, is your mom available?" They would say "i don't know" so I would say "is she home?" and they say "yes" and then just stay on the phone. I would always have to say "and may I speak to her?" I mentioned it to her after the 4th time, and since then they give her the phone when I first say who I am and if mom is avail. Kind of annoying and funny at the same time.