She will not eat or sleep for me but will for Rich. I do night duty because he works she is up every 2-2.5 hours will onyl eat 1-2 ounces and is back then up for 30-60 minutes then sleeps for around 90 minutes maybe 2 hours and is back up again. She will always take 4 ounces for Rich no matter when it is. She will go to bed when he gets home from work at 2pm and sleep until 7pm or 8pm (when he goes to bed for the night) then does it all over again and gets up and stays up for me. What can I do?

I am right now making her stay up I have not put her to bed since 8am this morning I am letting her sleep in the livingroom in the swing or bouncy seat but not for any more than 30 mintes at a time then I get her up and move her around. I am hoping that tonight she will sleep better but this is nuts. I know that she can sleep longer than 2 hours caus eshe has so what am I doing wrong?

If the bags get any bigger under my eyes they are going to take over my face!!!

Rich tells me to put her on a schedule but I cannot get him to understand that a 3 week old will not adjust to a schedule there is no such thing with a baby who is not even a month old.

And to top it off it looks like I am going to have to go back when she is 8 weeks instead of waiting until 14 because we are so tight on money right now. I want to sit and cry but where will that get me no where!!!!

Also we (I) had Timmy tested and he is testing high for both ADD and ADHD! He goes to our family DR in 2 weeks to see him then we are going to go from there.

By Trina~moderator on Tuesday, March 16, 2004 - 03:46 pm:

{{{Tonya}}} Sounds like normal newborn behavior to me. The sleep deprivation is awful, isn't it?! That was the hardest part for me, especially when I also had an older child to tend to. I agree it's a bit much to expect a newborn to fall into a schedule. For now I'd let her sleep and feed her on demand, unless your doctor advises otherwise. As hard as it may seem now things WILL get better. Try to grab cat naps while the baby sleeps whenever Timmy is at school. More {{{HUGS}}}

ADD and ADHD are the same thing except one includes hyperactivity (ADHD) and the other doesn't (ADD). Info here: CHADD.org

By Coopaveryben on Tuesday, March 16, 2004 - 03:52 pm:

You aren't doing anything wrong. I can't remember how I finally moved that 5 hour block of sleep to night but I think it just happened on it's own.

If the problem is her going back to sleep while eating then when you are feeding her at night move her from arm to arm to kind of keep her awake or try tickling her toe a little and maybe you can keep her awake to eat more than an ounce.

Also, where is she sleeping? If she is in a crib, what about a bassinet next to your bed if you don't believe in bed sharing?

I wish you luck, I know how hard it is.

By Fionadeassis on Tuesday, March 16, 2004 - 04:07 pm:

{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}

That was one of the hardest and most awful(but awesome)times of my life! My ds NEVER slept more than 45min-2hours at a time. When he was awake, he cried and cried unless he was being held. I looked like I was 55 years old. I don't have a lot of advice, but one thing that helped me was to have ds in bed with me. But I was breastfeeding so I could just 'pop in a boob' when he woke up crying....excuse the wording..LOL.

But you are doing formula, so that doesn't really help I guess.

Is the baby sleeping the entire time that Rich is home? Maybe he could try to keep the baby entertained and awake so that you could get a litle sleep out of her later.

Hope it all goes well. I thought I would never ever get a good nights sleep again. But now at 3 years ds sleeps soundly through the night.

But when the NEW BABY comes in June......

fiona

By Happynerdmom on Tuesday, March 16, 2004 - 04:15 pm:

I don't really have any advice...I just remember what it's like having a newborn. I always describe it that it feels like someone took your life, turned it upside-down, and shook as hard as they could! It feels like nothing will ever be "normal" again! It is worse when you have an older on to take care of, as well. Hang in there, and don't feel bad about going into your room by yourself and CRYING...it's a stress reliever. Just remember it doesn't last forever... {{{hugs}}}

By Mommyathome on Tuesday, March 16, 2004 - 04:28 pm:

Oh the joys of newborns! I don't think there is much you can do while she is so little. Just enjoy her! All too soon she will be a big girl and out of the precious little infant stage.
((((hugs))))
It's good to see you posting!

By Momaroze on Tuesday, March 16, 2004 - 05:06 pm:

I don't have any advice either. My ds is 4months old and he still is waking 3x/night. All I can say is I feel for you and understand your dillema. Sleep deprivation is very difficult. My dh works night too which does not make matters any better. Bags under the eyes is my middle name. Time does go by quickly.....they do grow so fast..That's not much help when you are in the situation but how true it is. Try to rest when possible.Keep us posted as to how things are going.

By Truestori on Tuesday, March 16, 2004 - 05:09 pm:

Tonya,

I think you are doing the right thing by trying to keep her up during the day. I had the same difficult time with my son. I would allow him to rest but only for short periods of time so that he would sleep more sound at night. If you really aren't getting any sleep, maybe have a friend/family memeber come babysit for a few hours so you can get alittle rest. Hope it all works out.

By Rayanne on Tuesday, March 16, 2004 - 07:21 pm:

Tonya,

I feel for you sweetie. When I first had my daughter, I swore that we would have no more. She was up every 2 to 3 hours. I don't believe in waking a sleeping baby. She needs her rest, even if it is a little at a time. She will eventually adjust and get on a scheduel. It took my daughter about a month and a half to start sleeping through the night. If she fell asleep while I was feeding her, I would just take her clothes off. That's what the Dr. told me to do and it kept her up. I hope evryhting works out and you get some shut eye. Keep us posted. ((((HUGS))))

By Vicki on Tuesday, March 16, 2004 - 07:29 pm:

I only have one child, but I remember that stage so well. I do not do well on lack of sleep, so it was a bear for me. I remember feeling like I was on drugs or something!! This walking zombie!! LOL I have no idea how people take care of older children!! Anyway, I would try to get her to take more at the feedings than one ounce. If she is falling asleep, try moving her around as suggested. For some reason, I don't really like the idea of keeping her awake during the day. Can't say why...maybe because I feel babies need the sleep. I have no medical reason for saying I don't really love that idea..LOL I hope she starts sleeping better for you. My dd starting sleeping pretty much through the night at 7 weeks. I think she knew Mommy couldn't take much more!! Good Luck and I hope you get some sleep soon!!

By Dawnk777 on Tuesday, March 16, 2004 - 08:42 pm:

My first one slept through the night at 8 weeks. However, there were plenty of sleepless nights up til that point! Argh. Newborn was not my most favorite stage!

By Tonya on Tuesday, March 23, 2004 - 02:54 pm:

Well ladies things are going better. She is now sleeping 5-6 hours at a time at night. I let her sleep during the day but oly for abot 1.5-2 hours at a time then get her up. She is doing really well with it. At night she eats dinner between 8-10pm and sleep till between 3-5 it is great. Just thought I would give you an update.

By Kernkate on Tuesday, March 23, 2004 - 03:09 pm:

Great news....the joy of the newborns. Been there 3 times know exactly what its like. Just remember it will get easier

By Coopaveryben on Tuesday, March 23, 2004 - 04:36 pm:

I'm so glad to hear she is sleeping better.