How do you handle having a child in your class that is being abused? Social services know about it, but my heart breaks every time I look at this child. I give lots of love but I am just so sad about this today. The child's mother is about to have baby #8 or 9 and the mother no longer has an eye, because "daddy got mad". Another child, who's sister died under suspicious conditions, told me the day was almost as beautiful as me today. TIA, I am ready to quit my job.

By Marg on Wednesday, March 10, 2004 - 01:15 pm:

I'm not a teacher, but dh works as a behavior specialist. Sad stories.

What do you do, I take it you work within the school system.

I take it that social services knows, so does school counselors.

Just getting a feel for the situation.

Too many cases to handle, I know that's not what you want to hear. Also too many children within the system and no where to place them Sorry I know I sound like a downer in this situation. Dh has worked with troubled youth since 2000. He has worked at program facilities and within public schools. A lot of these troubled youth are troubled because of the family background and environment.

I know I'm not being helpful, and I'm not making excuses for the system. I find it way too sad.

By Trina~moderator on Wednesday, March 10, 2004 - 02:11 pm:

How does that old saying go? The squeaky wheel gets the grease. ?? Keep reporting your concerns to Child Services and/or urge the school to do so. Document everything. At least you'll know *you* have done the right thing, even if the system fails. {{{HUGS}}}

By Palmbchprincess on Wednesday, March 10, 2004 - 02:50 pm:

I agree with Trina, keep reporting. Have you spoken to the principal? What about the police? Please keep reporting, because that will keep the case at the top of the pile. And make a record of anything you see as suspicious, with dates and description. (((Hugs)))

By Amy~moderator on Wednesday, March 10, 2004 - 02:58 pm:

And think twice about quitting. You may be the only light in these children's life.

By Anonymous on Wednesday, March 10, 2004 - 03:16 pm:

everyone knows, the principal, the classroom teachers, social services, the nurse, the aides, everyone.

By Cat on Wednesday, March 10, 2004 - 03:29 pm:

I agree with Trina and Crystal. Keep reporting it!!! Be that squeaky wheel. I can't imagine WHY if social services knows they aren't doing anything. Very sad.

By Mommyathome on Wednesday, March 10, 2004 - 03:53 pm:

Ditto. Keep reporting it until they are so tired of hearing about it that they finally do something about it. That is terrible. Why hasn't social services stepped in yet? I know in our area if there is even suspician, the family is watched very closely and as soon as they "mess up", the kids are taken immediately. So sad. ((((hugs)))) Just hang in there and know that by reporting, you've done all you can do.

By Marg on Wednesday, March 10, 2004 - 04:13 pm:

I'm sorry I sounded like the negative one in the group. I was trying to get a feel for the next step on the contact list.

By all means, do not give up. You may be the only hope.

But please make sure all the facts are clear. You do not want to make any false accusations. Do document everything. Do you live in a larger town or city. You may have to go above the social worker to a supervisor or someone even higher.

It only takes one person to start the wheels rolling, but it is that one person that must take that first step.

Once again, I did not mean to sound negative, I was just trying to figure out who you could contact to make those wheels start to turn.

I'll ask dh when he gets home.

The company dh works for also has a group home for troubled youth. A lot of them are taken away from their parents due to some type of abuse. Dh works in the group home and often comes home and says, so and so needs a foster placement (home) we could take them, they would fit in... However, they have a lot of emotional baggage and our children are young right now. It will probably change in later years, or if everything "clicks."

If I had a mansion, I would take in as many kids as I could, and that's how I feel. These kids need love. I could go on and on. Don't give up, I know it is emotionally draining. Dh sees it every day and there is only so much he can do. Social workers often blame it on the children's behavior or accusations

I'm just babbling now....

By Anonymous on Wednesday, March 10, 2004 - 04:23 pm:

It is a small town, and I really am not privy to social services records, I know it's been reported, many times and is still and it's being looked into. Just looking for a way to heal my heart that breaks every time I see these children.

By Happynerdmom on Wednesday, March 10, 2004 - 04:42 pm:

I did a research paper in college on abuse, and one thing that stood out to me was the difference one person can make in how a child feels about herself/himself. It may not feel like you're able to do much good, but don't underestimate the power of your respect and love for this child. He/she may decide that they are worth knowing and loving just because of you. It's so sad. Unfortunately we can't save the world...but you can be the bright spot in one child's day! {{{hugs)))

By Dana on Wednesday, March 10, 2004 - 05:01 pm:

Hmmm, just thinking out loud. Not suggesting this,but this is the first thing that came to my mind.

I live in FL and FL child system has really been in the news w/ lost children, children dying, no social workers reporting as they should, not enough workers to go around......the list just goes on. In the news ALL the time about how bad FL is.

If, indeed, you are certain this child is abused, I would (again, just thinking out loud) contact the local news with the information and ask them to find out why the services have not taken action.

Could be really over stepping, but it sounds like something needs to really stir things up.

I'm so sorry you are having to watch this little child suffer with out help. As mentioned, you may be the one person this child can trust and feel special with. Keep up the good work!

By Melissa on Wednesday, March 10, 2004 - 05:48 pm:

Your call might be the one more thing they need to actually open a case. If you are a teacher aren't you are a mandatated reporter? So you have more of an obligation to report b/c of that.
I have had to call before b/c of being a mandated reporter and also once as a citizen it is hard and it is frustrating to call and have nothing done but we can't justify not calling b/c we don't think anything will be done. We just have to make the call and keep calling if new information comes to light.

By Karen~moderator on Thursday, March 11, 2004 - 09:01 am:

I have to agree with being the squeaky wheel........and Amy is right, you might be the only light in their lives. I realize this must be emotionally draining and frustrating to you, but how can you walk away when you KNOW? Mind you, I'm not judging at all. It just makes me hurt inside for these kids. And unless you're knowledgeable about physical or sexual abuse, you or anyone else involved may miss the signs and their *disclosure* of the events....unfortunately a subject I've been learning a lot about in the last 6 months.........please, don't give up, do everything you can to get these kids noticed and get some help or action in their cases. They will seek love and acceptance wherever they can get it, and apparently you give it to them. That is a huge boost to their self esteem, which is crucial.

Kids in these situations need all the security and reassurance and structure and love and respect and encouragement and help they can get. Their reactions to their circumstances will vary from acting out to violence to complete withdrawal, which IMO, is the worst reaction. It gives the message that they have given up. It angers me SO much that a single *human* in their lives can snuff that bright flame that all kids are born with.

Please, don't give up, do whatever you are able to do, even if you ruffle some feathers along the way. These kids need an advocate.

{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}

By Marg on Thursday, March 11, 2004 - 10:06 am:

Local Phone Numbers

Abuse must be reported within the state in which it occurs. When seeking to report abuse, it is important to remember these points:

1. Not every state has a reporting hotline

2. Not every hotline is 24 - hour accessible

3. If the state does have a hotline, it may only be accessible within that state

Should you need to report in another state or the particular state does not have a hotline, you may need to contact the out-of-state reporting number or the specific county in which the abuse occurred. The Childhelp USA® National Child Abuse Hotline can provide these numbers for you.


Click on a state for reporting information and phone numbers:

Alabama Kentucky North Dakota
Alaska Louisiana Ohio
Arizona Maine Oklahoma
Arkansas Maryland Oregon
California Massachusetts Pennsylvania
Colorado Michigan Rhode Island
Connecticut Minnesota South Carolina
Delaware Mississippi South Dakota
District of Columbia Missouri Tennessee
Florida Montana Texas
Georgia Nebraska Utah
Hawaii Nevada Vermont
Idaho New Hampshire Virginia
Illinois New Jersey Washington
Indiana New Mexico West Virginia
Iowa New York Wisconsin
Kansas North Carolina Wyoming

Alabama - Report by County - 334-242-9500

Alaska - 907-269-3900 (out of state)
800-478-4444 (in state)
or Division of Family & Youth Services Regional Office

Arizona - 888-SOS-CHILD (888-767-2445)

Arkansas - 800-482-5964

California - Report by County
916-445-2832 (out of state)

Colorado - Report by County
303-866-3003 (nationwide)

Connecticut - 800-842-2288 (nationwide)
800-624-5518 (TDD/hearing impaired, in state)

Delaware - 800-292-9582
302-577-6550 (out of state)

District of Columbia - 202-671-7233 (nationwide)

Florida - 800-962-2873 (nationwide)

Georgia - Report by County

Hawaii - Report By Island
808-832-5300 (Oahu)

Idaho - Report by Regional Office

Illinois - 800-252-2873 (in state)
217-524-2606 (out of state)

Indiana - 800-800-5556 (in state)
Out of state: report by regional office

Iowa - 800-362-2178 (nationwide)

Kansas - 800-922-5330
785-296-0044 (out of state)

Kentucky - 800-752-6200
502-595-4550 (out of state)

Louisiana - Report by Parish/County
225-342-6832 (out of state, during business hours)

Maine - 800-452-1999
207-287-2983 (out of state)
207-287-3492 (TTY)

Maryland - 800-332-6347 (in state)
Out of state: report by county

Massachusetts - 800-792-5200
617-232-4882 (out of state)

Michigan - 800-942-4357
517-373-3572 (out of state)

Minnesota - Report by County

Mississippi - 800-222-8000
601-359-4991 (out of state)

Missouri - 800-392-3738
573-751-3448 (out of state)

Montana - 800-332-6100
406-444-5900 (out of state)

Nebraska - 800-652-1999
402-595-1324 (out of state, during business hours)

Nevada - 800-992-5757
775-684-4400 (out of state, during business hours)

New Hampshire - 800-894-5533 (in state)
800-852-3388 (in state, after hours)
603-271-6563 (out of state)
603-225-9000 (out of state, after hours)

New Jersey - 800-792-8610 (nationwide, 24 hours)
800-835-5510 (TDD/hearing impaired)

New Mexico - 800-797-3260 (24 hours)
505-841-6100 (out of state, 24 hours)

New York - 800-342-3720
518-474-8740 (out of state)

North Carolina - Report by county

North Dakota - Report by Regional Office
701-328-2316 (nationwide, 8:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m.)
800-245-3736 (in state, 8:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m.)

Ohio - Report by County
614-466-9824 (nationwide, during business hours)

Oklahoma - 800-522-3511 (nationwide, 24 hours)

Oregon - 800-854-3508 ext.2402 (in state, during business hours)
503-378-5414 (TTY, hearing impaired)
503-378-6704 (nationwide, during business hours)

Pennsylvania - 800-932-0313 (in state)
717-783-8744 (in and out of state)

Rhode Island - 800-RI-CHILD ( 800-742-4453) (nationwide, 24 hours)

South Carolina - Report by County (in state)
803-898-7318 (out of state, during business hours)

South Dakota - Report by County
605-773-3227 (nationwide, during business hours)

Tennessee - Report by County
615-532-3545 (nationwide, during business hours)
After hours: contact county Department of Human Services

Texas - 800-252-5400
512-834-3784 (out of state, during business hours)
512-832-2020 (out of state, after hours)

Utah - 800-678-9399 (nationwide)

Vermont - Report by County (during business hours)
800-649-5285 (in state)

Virginia - 800-552-7096
804-786-8536 (out of state)

Washington - 800-562-5624 (nationwide)

West Virginia - 800-352-6513
304-558-7980 (out of state, during business hours)

Wisconsin - Report by County
608-266-3036 (nationwide, during business hours)

Wyoming - 800-457-3659 (In state, report by county)



Arizona
California
Michigan
New York
Tennessee
Virginia










Copyright © 2004, Childhelp Inc. All rights reserved. Permission to reproduce any information or images contained on this site must be requested in writing, submitted to the attention of the Director of Communications at the Childhelp USA® National Headquarters

By Marg on Thursday, March 11, 2004 - 10:10 am:

Sorry so long, didn't know which state you lived in.

Dh said to report it to who ever would listen. Go to the police if you have to, they will or should direct you.

I know you may want to go anon, since you did on the board. If you don't stop in the local police station call, tell them you want to go anon, they should direct you, and explain social services may not be doing their job.

We live in a small area, and I don't believe we have any direct local social service agencies, I know there is one for the county, but they work the entire county.

Remember tell anyone who will listen.


http://www.childhelpusa.org/child/report.htm

By Lauram on Friday, March 12, 2004 - 10:46 am:

Keep reporting. I'm assuming you work with this child in a school setting. Just remember, while this child is at school he/ she is SAFE. THe child knows that. Be there for the child. Open up the lines of communication and trust. Maybe then you'll get more info and will have more data to report. Does the child have a mentor? Sometimes that helps too. YOu can olnly do so much, but by providing a safe environment and a trusting relationship with an adult, you are doing more than you know! It's sad, though. I know. Just try to be strong for them! Imagine how sad they are!