I think I lost myself.

By Happynerdmom on Tuesday, March 9, 2004 - 05:55 pm:

I felt like that more when my kids were small. It's like your whole life is just about what you can do for other people. Now that my kids are older, I'm able to take more time for myself, and the things I enjoy. I'm lucky to have a husband that supports whatever I want to do. I think getting together with friends, just yourself- not as "couples," is important. Just the fact that you've realized that you've "lost yourself" is a step in the right direction. Make it a priority to remember who you are without dh and kids. They deserve the real you! {{{anon.}}}

By Vicki on Tuesday, March 9, 2004 - 06:16 pm:

Maybe I am where you are!! LOL I know how you feel!!!

By Eve on Tuesday, March 9, 2004 - 06:19 pm:

YES!!! I think it's easy to let it happen, epsecially with kids.

I put *me* on the backburner for a long time, and now I am changing that. I have taken up Scrapbooking with a group of women and I love it. It gets me out of the house to socialize some.

I am also being very selfish and putting myself FIRST and planning a lifetime dream vacation to Italy. Life is too short to wait!! I'm taking a little *me* time now.

I have not been doing it lately, but what always works for me is to do something that is a little scary for you. It should be something that you want to do though. Like going back to school, or joining a club, or joining a gym. If you push yourself a little, you'll feel great about yourself.

Maybe you can start by taking one day a week that is all YOU! Tell your DH that Fridays or Wednesdays(Whatever day you choose) are your day and he has to be home to make dinner and the night is yours to do whatever. Do something selfish all for you! ((HUGS)) Hope you feel better.

By Mommyathome on Tuesday, March 9, 2004 - 06:22 pm:

Yep! That has happened to me.

By Anonymous on Tuesday, March 9, 2004 - 06:24 pm:

Thank you so much

By Trina~moderator on Tuesday, March 9, 2004 - 06:28 pm:

Ditto Happynerdmom!

Anon.,


I don't know how old your kids are, but as difficult as it may be, try to find some time for YOURSELF. Even if just reading a good book after the kids go to bed. Surf the net to research something of interest to YOU. Have your DH stay home with the kids for an afternoon while you have lunch and go shopping with a friend. Go by yourself if need be. Anything that allows you take off your mommy hat for awhile! Eve and I plan mall days together. We go out to lunch and leisurely shop all day. It's such a treat and we return home recharged.

Hey Eve, it's time for another mall day, isn't it?!

By Payday614 on Tuesday, March 9, 2004 - 06:32 pm:

It's nice to know I'm not the only one

By Sue3 on Tuesday, March 9, 2004 - 06:46 pm:

Anon,
Yes, I can totally relate.I used to feel that way alot.Like the others said,take time for your self and don`t feel guilty about it,you deserve it
and you will feel better.
This is the first year since Dk`s that I
have done something (out side of my family life)
I joined a woman`s fitness center and I joined a once a month women`s bowling league.
I love it!

By Marg on Tuesday, March 9, 2004 - 07:17 pm:

You know I've always been the person who does for others.

I don't know if I've ever really found myself, lol!

The only thing I ever did for me was children. Dh asked me when we were married (after 6 years) if I would like children. He wanted them, but get this, we never talked about it. He said it was really up to me. I also really enjoy being a mom and I love them so much

Oh, I went to college for accounting and wanted to move to NYC after I got out. That was my big plan in high school before I met dh, lol!

I'm trying to do something for myself now. I'm looking into courses online and would like to work at home. I don't want to do accounting, too many years of telling people they owe money is depressing!

By Momaroze on Tuesday, March 9, 2004 - 09:21 pm:

I can relate too. We need to take the advice of these ladies. Life is too short that is for sure. It's taken me years to figure "me time" is priceless to myself and to my family.

By Conni on Wednesday, March 10, 2004 - 11:24 am:

Oh no, I know exactly who I am!

Maid
Dishwasher
Errand lady
Laundry lady
Appt Scheduler
Taxi Driver
Food Replenishment Specialist
Head Chef
Head Waiter
Financial Advisor
Counselor/Mediator
Decorater
Car detailer
Hostess
Pool lady in the summer months
Landscaper
Lawn mower
Nurse (specialize in splinter removal lately, can be a tricky procedure, if squirming is going on)
Travel agent
Homework helper

Shall I go on? LOL!!! Just teasin~ we have all been where you are! Just take some time for yourself.

By Ladypeacek on Wednesday, March 10, 2004 - 11:36 am:

I feel like that alot too, i do have small children and i am a stay at home mom. Sometimes i feel like i don't contribute since i bring home no money(even though my dh loves me being home and is very uplifting with me)and sometimes i feel like my days are sooo long and i get so tired of cleaning up after everyone. But i do know that once they are older i will make up for it all and take my time and do my things and so that gets me through the days, most of the time!

By Janet on Wednesday, March 10, 2004 - 12:14 pm:

LOL @ Connie!

By Bellajoe on Wednesday, March 10, 2004 - 01:04 pm:

Connie! LOL! I am the Domestic Engineer, as my dh calls it! LOL

Anon, i know how you feel. I've just decided to sign up for Jazzercise. I need me time and excercise. This way i have scheduled me time every week.

Do something for YOU, not dh or kids, YOU.

By Brandy on Wednesday, March 10, 2004 - 01:14 pm:

Not anymore i started doing things for me like so many people have i started going to the gym that is all my time and i lose weight in the process also i started working 5 almost 6 years ago yeah it's work but i get out of the house to breathe = ) anyways which is always good and i make money while i'm at it.I used to always buy the boys stuff too when i went shopping and stuff well for awhile i quit doing that and instead bought my nieces stuff and now i'm not doing that anymore i'm buying stuff for ME now nope i'm not selfish i'm alot happier and better mommy because i do stuff for me.You can and will get there = ) good luck and {{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}

By Amy~moderator on Wednesday, March 10, 2004 - 03:00 pm:

Conni, sounds like I'm in almost the same field as you!

By Janet on Friday, March 12, 2004 - 09:53 am:

Anon, how are you feeling today?

By Anonymous on Friday, March 12, 2004 - 01:39 pm:

Much better, thank you

By Janet on Friday, March 12, 2004 - 03:21 pm:

Glad to hear it!