"Get your mammies grammed" (caution, some "language")
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive March 2004:
"Get your mammies grammed" (caution, some "language")
Laugh, and then do it!
This is a cute way to send "the message"! There is a serious message at the end, but you get to laugh on the way there. Now go out and have your mammies grammed!
___ ___
For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And I always wore my bra.
After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr. Pruitt,
Said I should get a Mammogram
"O.K," I said, "let's do it."
"Stand up here real close" she said,
(She got my boob in line),
"And tell me when it hurts," she said,
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."
She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooter's in a vise!
My skin was stretched and mangled,
>From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's vise-like grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!
"Take a deep breath" she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?!?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting.
"There, that's good," I heard her say,
(The room was slowly swaying.)
"Now, let's have a go at the other one."
Have mercy, I was praying.
It squeezed me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
To HER tender little hide.
Next time that they make me do this,
I will request a blindfold.
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steam rolled.
If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have gone "ker-pow!"
This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his balls in there,
And see how THEY come out!
Mail this to 13 other females. Now, don't break the chain! One female broke the chain, her plumbing became so bad, she now has an outhouse!
OK ladies, now that you have had your laugh, remember... Breast Cancer Awareness... Go have those boobs checked out and stay healthy! Pass the message on to your mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts, cousins, friends -- and even your enemies -- because the WORST enemy is Breast Cancer!
(A dear friend sent me this and I can't think of a better way to get this message out than to post it at Momsview. Besides which, it IS funny!)
;)
What can I say Ginny!
LOL! Just got my girls squished a couple months ago. Been going annually for 5 yrs. now. Actually, it's not bad. It's uncomfortable but doesn't hurt.
Here's a nice visual. *EG*
OMG Trina, way too funny!!!
I had it done once. Not looking forward to having to get it done again.
I'v had an apt. 3 times since January to have a mammogram done and I'v chickened out and canceled them. Im not having any problems it's just Im almost 40 and the doctor's assistant who is a woman thought it would good to have one done.I can do just about anything but, when it comes to the mammies as you put it Im a nervous reck.
Too funny, Ginny! I'll have to send that to my mom. 
Trina, I love that pic! So true!
ROFLOL
I've never had one before. And, I'm not looking forward to my first one LOL.
Barb, it's really no big deal. In fact, I'd rather get a "mammie" than go for a pap smear. LOL! It only takes about 10-15 minutes and is definitely worth the peace of mind. I lost my very dear MIL to breast cancer several years ago. She never went in for mammograms. By the time she was diagnosed it was too late. 
GO GIRLS!!
When are you supposed to go have one? Is it still at 35 and older? I've never been told to go get one. Just curious.
Eve, I think the general recommendation is 35+ but since I've already had two breast tumors (benign) removed I started going at 30.
I agree, it is not the MOST fun I've ever had, but please, ladies, you need a baseline mammogram by age 35 or 40 (depending on your doc and your insurance company). Even doing regular monthly hand checks at home won't catch things as small as a mammogram will catch. And the baseline mammogram gives the doc something for comparison later on. Starting at age 40 or 45, I think (again depending on your doc and insurance company) you should get one annually.
One of the nicer things about getting older and having my boobs droop is that the mammogram is less uncomfortable. It really is no big deal - a couple of pinches and sqeezes, no bruises, and it's over. And then you have done one more thing to keep yourself around long enough to be a great-grandmother.
Funny post, Ginny! I like the cartoon also
Both my grandmothers and my mom had breast cancer. Thank God they all survived it. I haven't had one yet, im only 26 and my Dr. said i didn't need one till i was about 30. But I do do the self breast exam. I'm not looking forward to my first mammogram, i barely have anything to squash!!
|
Members
