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Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive February 2004: How do other people view you?
I dont mean,how they view you physically, but your personality?
I was just thinking of this yesterday Jackie, not kidding.
I'm not sure exactly how other people view me, probably because I'm pretty adaptable. I will say there are times where I wonder if I sound stuck up or b*tchy because I tend to say whatever is on my mind. This was an interesting thing to think about...
I am a lot like you, Jackie. I have a hard time making conversation with people I don't know very well. I am definitely more reserved.
I don't think I can answer the question of how others view me. I guess it would depend on who we were talking about. My kids? My friends? My family? Each know me in a differnt role and I'm sure you would get 3 different answers if you asked 3 different people. Now, I've been told I am picky, stubborn and my sister used to say I was spoiled (she denies every saying that, but I know she doesn't feel that way anymore). I know growing up I was shy and reserved, but life happens and people change, as I did.
Well, I don't think we can truly say how others view us. I am pretty extroverted though and can make conversation with a wall--LOL. Mostly I crack a lot of jokes and use that as a way to diffuse uncomfortable social situations...and I ask a lot of questions since most people enjoy talking about themselves. If I could only do better with remembering names. People often tell me I am very laid back, but I don't feel that way or even feel I project that sense about me, but obviously they think so. Even though I am fairly outgoing I am not a person who seeks or enjoys to be the center of attention. That actually drives me insane...when someone comes into a room all loud and boisterous and wants to make their presence known. I am more of a small group or one-on-one person. Now that we are back in the south I may be perceived somewhat as stuck-up because everyone here is so huggy all of the time. I am a fairly affectionate person with family and close friends, but I don't just go around hugging people all of the time. Here in Baton Rouge, hugs are more the norm instead of handshakes and that's just not my personality at all. I treasure my personal space
I'm alot like Melanie and Jackie. I'm mostly quiet around people i don't know. But if i do get to know them and like them and feel they like me, then I'm comfortable and able to talk to them about anything. I do feel like I have a hard time making new friends. I have actualy had the same 4 or 5 good friends since preschool!
I could be Pam's sister separated at birth except I am huggy!
I usually don't have a problem talking to someone I don't have anything in common with. I try to come up with ANYTHING to say, just to make conversation. If I don't like someone for a good reason, I will not talk to them unless they ask me a question, and I always distance myself from those whom I do not wish to associate.
This is interesting. Really gets me thinking about who I am.
Good topic. I use to be very quiet. In school (which I didn't find out until I was out of school) they thought I was a Bi***. Because I kept to myself for the most part. But after years of being a stay at home mom and not having much outside contact I have started talking to anyone and everyone that will listen. I think a lot of it came with age.
People view me as very self assured and opinionated. The opinionated part is right. The other isn’t. I’ve taken the Myers Briggs Personality test, and the result was: INFJs are distinguished by both their complexity of character and the unusual range and depth of their talents. Strongly humanitarian in outlook, INFJs tend to be idealists, and because of their J preference for closure and completion, they are generally "doers" as well as dreamers. This rare combination of vision and practicality often results in INFJs taking a disproportionate amount of responsibility in the various causes to which so many of them seem to be drawn. INFJs are deeply concerned about their relations with individuals as well as the state of humanity at large. They are, in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they appear so outgoing and are so genuinely interested in people -- a product of the Feeling function they most readily show to the world. On the contrary, INFJs are true introverts, who can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or obvious "soul mates." While instinctively courting the personal and organizational demands continually made upon them by others, at intervals INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out even their intimates. This apparent paradox is a necessary escape valve for them, providing both time to rebuild their depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which they are so susceptible as inherent "givers." As a pattern of behavior, it is perhaps the most confusing aspect of the enigmatic INFJ character to outsiders, and hence the most often misunderstood -- particularly by those who have little experience with this rare type. Due in part to the unique perspective produced by this alternation between detachment and involvement in the lives of the people around them, INFJs may well have the clearest insights of all the types into the motivations of others, for good and for evil. The most important contributing factor to this uncanny gift, however, are the empathic abilities often found in Fs, which seem to be especially heightened in the INFJ type (possibly by the dominance of the introverted N function). This empathy can serve as a classic example of the two-edged nature of certain INFJ talents, as it can be strong enough to cause discomfort or pain in negative or stressful situations. More explicit inner conflicts are also not uncommon in INFJs; it is possible to speculate that the causes for some of these may lie in the specific combinations of preferences which define this complex type. For instance, there can sometimes be a "tug-of-war" between NF vision and idealism and the J practicality that urges compromise for the sake of achieving the highest priority goals. And the I and J combination, while perhaps enhancing self-awareness, may make it difficult for INFJs to articulate their deepest and most convoluted feelings. Usually self-expression comes more easily to INFJs on paper, as they tend to have strong writing skills. Since in addition they often possess a strong personal charisma, INFJs are generally well-suited to the "inspirational" professions such as teaching (especially in higher education) and religious leadership. Psychology and counseling are other obvious choices, but overall, INFJs can be exceptionally difficult to pigeonhole by their career paths. Perhaps the best example of this occurs in the technical fields. Many INFJs perceive themselves at a disadvantage when dealing with the mystique and formality of "hard logic", and in academic terms this may cause a tendency to gravitate towards the liberal arts rather than the sciences. However, the significant minority of INFJs who do pursue studies and careers in the latter areas tend to be as successful as their T counterparts, as it is *iNtuition* -- the dominant function for the INFJ type -- which governs the ability to understand abstract theory and implement it creatively. In their own way, INFJs are just as much "systems builders" as are INTJs; the difference lies in that most INFJ "systems" are founded on human beings and human values, rather than information and technology. Their systems may for these reasons be conceptually "blurrier" than analogous NT ones, harder to measure in strict numerical terms, and easier to take for granted -- yet it is these same underlying reasons which make the resulting contributions to society so vital and profound. The Introverted description makes people, who think they know me well, shake their heads. I do love people, but I expend energy in being with people. I then need alone time to re-charge. The Intuitive part is the fundamental me. I spend more time walking in another’s shoes, than I do in my own. I am constantly trying to understand WHY people do, act or say the things they do. The only way I know to approach that knowledge is with empathy. ...and that leads to the Feeling and Judging part. I walk in their shoes, but I feel my own feelings while vicariously living the situation. Then I make judgements on the way I feel. People see me as simply pushy and judgmental. I understand that perception, but the person inside simply wishes she was that self assured.
I can definitely start conversations with complete strangers, like if we are stuck in a long line together, or when our kids were playing in the playroom at McDonald's (when they still did that!).
I am pretty shy and people have told me before that they thought I was stuck up before they got to know me. That is the farthest from the truth, I just have a hard time talking to people that I don't really know. I don't make friends easily at all. I've had the same 3 friends since elementary school. However, I really only talk to one on a regular basis, and she's my cousin! I wish I was more outgoing, it would make day-to-day life a little easier sometimes.
I'm an INTJ, Bea!
This has been a major issue in the beginning of this year. I have still pretty young and my old high school friends are on opposite ends of me. They have children of their own and are living with someone but they do not take care of their children as well as they should. LIke they still like to go out partying every weekend. I thought that kind of stuff should not be appropriate at not for every weekend. I have a hard time meeting other people since i feel I will say something stupid or they wont like me. So all my HS friends is who I know. And I decided it was best for me not to be in their crowd since I like to focus on family and my education in which I would be graduating in April with my Bachelors. Most of my friends quit HS or didnt do anything aftewards. So I know its just hard for me to meet new people. Especially with being a home most of the time.
I was painfully shy and insecure growing up, and even into my twenties. People at that time thought I was *stuck up* or *snobby*. That was SO far from the truth! I was just too shy to initiate conversations with strangers, particularly in social settings. I was very comfortable with my old friends, but I had a difficult time opening up with new people. Basically,
I was very shy in school and my older brother told me one time that people thought I was snobby because I was so backward. He use to come up to me in the halls and put his arm around me and embarress me, he said it was so guys would notice me. My older daughter is like this but, she's coming out of it somewhat.Im very out going as an adult and find myself making conversations with just about any one. My daughters have a fit about this. My mother is the same way, she knows no stranger.
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