My dd had a dance/cheer competition today at the local college. While they were waiting for the awards ceremony the school mascots came out and danced around with the kids. These are people who are in inflatable type comstumes. One of the other moms had gotten all the girls in my 7 year olds group together with this mascot for a picture. I had my camera so I went over to get a picture and one of the girls was crying. I wasn't sure what she was upset about so I asked my dd if she would let her stand by her and try to make her feel better and dd did this. Well it turned out that the little girl was crying because she was scared to death of the mascot and didn't want to be in the picture. I did not know this and after the picture was done her mom was livid and ran over and told her daughter that Nobody had the right to make you do that. From what my dd told me the mom that originally set up the picture did know that this little girl was afraid but told her she had to do it anyway. I DID NOT know that was why she was crying but in essence *I* was the one who made her do it as I asked dd her take her hand and have her stand by her. I really wasn't aware of the whole situation until after we had left do you think I should call the mom (and her daughter)and apologize? I feel badly and the mom was right nobody had the right to make someone elses child do something that frightend them.

By Bobbie on Sunday, February 22, 2004 - 09:57 pm:

You can try to call and talk to the mom. Not sure how she will handle it but it might be a appreciated. If not, you tried.

By Mommyathome on Sunday, February 22, 2004 - 10:08 pm:

I would probably call to "check on" the girl. Maybe explain what happened and then just hope for the best. Of course you wouldn't have *made* her stand in the picture. I have a DD who is deathly afraid of costumes as well, so I can see where the mom would be frustrated if she felt like her DD was forced to be in a picture. Good luck!

By Insaneusmcwife on Sunday, February 22, 2004 - 11:32 pm:

I agree it probably wouldn't hurt to call. Let us know how it goes....and good luck!

By Cheekymama on Monday, February 23, 2004 - 12:59 am:

I would definitely call and explain. I agree with Bobbie - she might understand, or she might not, but either way you know you've tried.

By Mrse on Monday, February 23, 2004 - 01:09 am:

Where was the mother, and why did she come to the rescue after the picture? anyway, I would try to call her too, and just tell her you did not know why she was crying, but you sent your dd over to console her and show support by getting her to stand by your dd. If you call her and she gets angry with you, which would be so absurd, I would not let your dd know about it, because in the future, it could mean a negative lesson and not a postive one. She may not want to step in and help someone who is upset again. just a thought.

By Amy~moderator on Monday, February 23, 2004 - 01:23 am:

I can totally understand that you didn't realize what was going on at the time, but I think you should call anyway to check on the girl and explain what happened. I'd understand if I was the girl's mother.

By Ginny~moderator on Monday, February 23, 2004 - 06:05 am:

Call if it will make you feel better. And yes, if Amy was the girl's mother she would understand, but this mother already knew her daughter was afraid of the mascot and forced her to be in the picture despite that. I would not be surprised if she continues to make it "your fault" that her daughter was crying.

I think what you did was kind and thoughtful, and gave your daughter a lesson in what to do when someone is unhappy. I would have done something similar if I saw a crying 7 year old at an event.

I certainly would not tell your daughter how the mother behaved if she doesn't already know. Why let her know the down side of helping (and sometimes there is a downside) before she has to learn it.

By Sue3 on Monday, February 23, 2004 - 01:47 pm:

Yes , I would call also. Tell her you want to explain what happened. Hope it goes well.