I am almost 38, oldest dd will be 12 in June.

Boy have times changed. I had a friend who lived 1/4 of a mile from me, actually 2 girlfriends and 1 girl had a little brother. We rode our bicycle for miles, however, my grandfather lived near where they lived. I would go to the pool with them (meaning all this stuff without mom). However, she knew where I was all the time, we always had a good relationship.

Don't know if I would let dds do what I did so many years ago, too many incidents.

I was reminded by this because oldest dd said she is allowed by pool rules to go swimming without me being at the pool and she is right. When I was young the age was 12, but they raised it at some point. It's scary for me to just drop her and her friend off. Haven't done it yet, and we have 2 other dds ages 8 and 3. She doesn't mind being "seen with me." We are very close and I believe we will always be because of her knowing my mom and me were close and us taking care of mom until she passed away. It has left a huge impression on our children.

Back to the point, at what point have you left your children go somewhere alone with a friend, pool, movie, store, down the block on a bike, rollerskating, you get my point.

It has changed so much in 26 years....

By Feona on Thursday, February 12, 2004 - 03:48 pm:

I don't think things have changed. I think the bad events get more publicity. I also think that about 1 in 10 woman our age were molested growing up.

Glad we are aware now, I think. No more head in the sand.

By Texannie on Thursday, February 12, 2004 - 04:12 pm:

I went everywhere even younger. I know my mother had no sense of trepidation about letting me do it either. My son started going to movies with groups of kids last year, but not roaming around afterwards. Kids in our neighbhorhood can do to the pool alone at 10, but there are tons of lifeguards who pay better attention (I am usually reading a book! LOL) than I do. My kids go all over our neighborhood.

By Mrse on Thursday, February 12, 2004 - 05:29 pm:

Well, my youngest dd is 11, and we just recently started letting her walk home from school, we are 2 blocks from the school. She was starting to go down to the store etc on her own, but I withdrew that privledge, when their was yet another child abducted, so now she can not go unless one of her sisters go with her, or a friend. Still kind of wondering if I should be walking up to the school, to get her, but their are other kids walking the same stretch at the same time. Not sure it is not even that safe for teenagers to be walking anywhere on their own anymore.mmmmmmmmmmmm what to do. Sorry not much help here, I guess we are all in the same boat

By Yjja123 on Thursday, February 12, 2004 - 06:31 pm:

I think there was a better sense of community back then. I remember playing with neighborhood kids outside and someones parent watching. Back then if you did something wrong another parent would punish you or call your mom. Now days people do not get as involved. Of course back then all the moms were at home. Now days both parents have too many things keeping them too busy to be sitting on the front porch.
I do not even let my kids play in front of our house. They play in our back yard where I can glance out at them (and no-one can grab them). I will never let them walk to school. We have had several incidents here.
It just isn't as safe a world anymore for children. Its very sad because I feel like they lose their innocence so quickly when you have to drill into them "stranger danger" and warning about drugs, peer pressure, sex etc.
I wish my kids could grow up like I did!

By Dawnk777 on Thursday, February 12, 2004 - 11:45 pm:

My 14yo is going by herself to movies now with friends. I think they have to be 13-14 to be there without a parent.

When she was 5 and 6 and in kindergarten-first grade, my dad asked if she was walking to school by herself. We lived 6 blocks away from the school then. I said no because I didn't feel comfortable with that. I know I walked to school throughout all of grade school. We were like 2 blocks away. I would have been terrified sending her down the street by herself.

When my kids were 9 and 11, I let them ride their bikes to the discount Hostess store that is about 2 blocks away. They thought that was cool.

Last summer (13 and 11), they walked the mile home from church once during vacation bible school. Gary and I were both busy and couldn't pick them up. They did fine.

By Juliem on Sunday, February 15, 2004 - 01:35 pm:

It really saddens me the way things are these days. I grew up in a neighborhood filled with children, and I remember getting up and being gone all day. I had to be home by 5:00. My mom knew we were up and down the street and at the park a few blocks down. I can't imagine giving my daughter that kind of freedom. I wonder if Feona is right, things are just more publicized these days? I know when I was little, there was a pervert that rode up and down our streets. He exposed himself to me one day when I was eight years old. My dad went and had a "talk" with him. He owned a clothing store in the mall. My dad worked(s) in the legal field, and had him checked out and he had been arrested several times for indecent exposure, but was still doing it. I remember several years later, he married a woman that had two little girls. I still think about them today. There is no telling what happened to them. Well, I digress, but it makes me think that Feona could be right, because nothing was done to that man. Actually, the police advised us not to file a complaint because it would be so devastating for me to have to testify against him. Can you imagine??

By Bea on Sunday, February 15, 2004 - 02:52 pm:

I agree with Feona. I don't think there are more abductions or crimes against children today. I think that we are simply more aware and sensitive to it. Children were beaten by parents when I was a child. It was the norm. Cat-o-nine-tails and special belts were routinely used to discipline children. No hospitals reported treating these kids. The police didn't investigate. It was "A FAMILY MATTER". You were taught some street smarts. We routinely walked to school past a house where a man exposed himself in his doorway to elementary school kids. We thought he was funny. Men stopped, and tried to get me to take a ride with them. I told them to get lost. I never told my parents. It was simply part of the way we grew up.

I'd leave in the morning, and come home at night when the street lights came on. I knew my boundaries, and even though I sometimes exceeded them, I took special care not to get caught doing something bad, because parents would call each other, and report on you. Life was simpler, and freer. It wasn't as safe, but I think the freedom was worth it.