I thought I would drop the bomb. I am personally tired of being too poor to do anything fun! I know I am blessed with healthy children, enough money to keep a roof over our heads, a good husband, and food in the cabinets (too much probably) but I want something more sometimes. Example: My husband has a business meeting in Las Vegas in March and for the first time ever his boss asked if I would like to go too. The hotel would already be paid for by the company so we would only have to pay for my plane ticket. As much as I would love to go and my husband would really like for me to come with him... we just can't swing it. Our oldest wrecked the only good car (1995 Buick) pulling out of the driveway and hit my husbands new pick up (new to us.. 1988) causing damage to both vehicles. Our youngest gets his braces put on this month and the up front of $250 is due. I do home day care but two fo my mothers have just this month found ways to stay at home and not work.. so I am short on income to say the least. I hate feeling like we will never pay off the credit cards, never have a vehicle that is safe on the highway, never take the kids to Disneyland, or a weekend away for us. Heck I hate knowing we will never stop paying for student loans my husband took out in college. I really wanted to vent this to you all since I can't say it to him or the kids. It could be worse and I know that but gosh why do all the millionaires always win the lottery!!!!!!!! I would share, I would donate, do good charity work, and still sleep at night instead of calculating the bills in my head all night long.

Any words of wisdom or ideas ladies?

By Trisa on Wednesday, February 11, 2004 - 04:18 pm:

I am sure most of us feel this way from time to time. Life does seem unfair at times. Some people just have it easier in life. My sister in laws brother in law won the lotto and is giving her them 50 thousand towards buying a house! I am happy for them. Sometimes all we can do if remember all the good things we do have. We had a missionary come to our church and show slides from other countries and It made me cry. It made me realize how much I DO have. I am proud to be a stay at home mom even if we would make so much more money if I worked. I understand you needing to vent. Sometimes life just doesnt seem to go our way and we wonder will it EVER get better???
I hope your car problems get better for you.
One tip I guess would be that when you do get your creidt card bills paid to really try not to charge alot of stuff. Its hard I know. My parents got into sooo much credit card debt and they told me to never do that so I really try not to charge much. Just enough to keep my account open . You have to to insure good credit. I do hope things get better for you. Hope I didnt sound to stupid here!

By Insaneusmcwife on Wednesday, February 11, 2004 - 05:17 pm:

The only advise I can give you is to STOP charging! Have you talked to a financial advisor? or a credit counselor? Hang in there it will all work out.

By Luvn29 on Wednesday, February 11, 2004 - 05:23 pm:

I understand completely. I had a wonderful job with the state before I got sick suddenly and had to quit work.

And to those who say QUIT charging... I understand that that seems like an easy thing to do, but some people have NO choice but to charge. If you have no money and you need gas, food, milk, diapers, etc. you have no choice but to go to your credit cards. I have been there done that. I know what it's like having no money and payday being two weeks away or sometimes more.

Hang in there. Just keep looking at the positive you have in life. All of our money goes towards medications and medical bills. And those are endless...

By Dawnk777 on Wednesday, February 11, 2004 - 06:01 pm:

Well, if it's any consolation, my kids haven't ever been to Disney World, either. I stayed home for 7 years, so there just wasn't money for that, too.

By Sue3 on Thursday, February 12, 2004 - 09:19 am:

Anonymous,
I have often felt like you have.So if it makes you feel any better know that you are not alone.
We also have never been to Disney.
We took our first family vacation 2 years ago and it was in the state we live in , we camped.
We have never purchased a new car.
I shop at goodwill sometimes.
Both DD`s just got braces so yes , another loan payment.
Also our property taxes are due the end of the month and DH was suppose to get his bonus
by now and they just informed him he won`t get it till March..
It wasn`t a big bonus enough to pay the taxes.
We decided we can`t spend any money for a few weeks.

I think alot of it is the sacrifice for staying home.
I often think that if I had a full time job that we wouldn`t be in so much debt and also that we could go more places and have cool family
vacations.
I have asked my kids though what their choice would be and always even my youngest says
they like me to be home.
{Even if it means no Disney vacations or name brand clothes ?}, I ask them.
and they say no , we want you home.
I always believe things will get better finacially.
I hope it will anyway.
Also I want to add that we are not on a budget and I really think that things would be better if we were.
all my family and friends that go on vacations always budget for at least a year
before they go.
So We really need to work on that also.
So cheer Up ! I hope things look up for you real soon .
I hope this wasn`t to long.

By Fionadeassis on Thursday, February 12, 2004 - 12:07 pm:

I feel the same way sometimes. But I do try to think positively. We are still renters and only have one vehicle which dh uses for work. So I am the only mom in my neighbourhood who doesn't have a car. But I am also one of the only ones who is planning on staying home indefinitely. Everyone else has to go back to work in a year or whatever. They have car payments for 2 nice vehicles,really expensive beautiful homes,epensive clothes,expensive nannies,expensive daycares.....I get to listen to them complaining about bad daycares, mean nannies...bad teachers...etc....I get to stay home in my ugly flannel pyjamas and drink tea and chat to you guys!

By Trisa on Thursday, February 12, 2004 - 04:30 pm:

Now that is a great way to look at it Fionadeassis! I will take staying home in my Pjs any day!! Ya know what all those things like a grand house and an expensive cars may be nice to have. But its not what life is all about.
Sue I also liked what you said. Is it not sooo great that they would rather have you home.

By Wandilu on Friday, February 13, 2004 - 03:49 pm:

dear anon,i understand exactly how you feel !!!i was a single mom for most of my children's life at home.and then when i remarried,we still struggled.i have been praying for quite some time that the Lord would help me find a good home-based business that i could do.and He has just recently answered that prayer,and i would love to share it with you.you can e-mail me at rlkwlk777@fhtm.us,or check our website at www.fhtm.ws/cm/the keiths. it's an awesome program,and i will answer any questions that you have.i wish i had had something like this when i was raising my kids.God Bless You.

By Ginny~moderator on Saturday, February 14, 2004 - 06:06 am:

Oh, definitely been there done that. You feel like you are on a treadmill with bills falling out of the wheels. It's only in the last couple of years that I have had any give at all in my monthly checkbook and it only takes needing a pair of new tires or the 6 month car insurance bill to take that leeway away. It is so frustrating, and sometimes you feel like "why am I doing this - it doesn't seem to make any difference".

Vent away - it is definitely safer to come to us. I'm sure your dh feels the same way fairly often and he too wants to be protective and doesn't share it with you. So this is the best place to say those things you don't want to say to anyone else but just have to get out.

By Dananivyboo1 on Saturday, February 14, 2004 - 10:42 am:

Believe me there are more people in the same boat as you are. Now after 3 months of looking for a job and no more unemployment checks coming in we are living off of DH salary. We have just enough to get by and lucky I am a very good saver which we have as back up, but really it was for the down payment on our house. We really would like to get out of renting and give our ds a home which he can run around and play in his own house and yard. We have some pretty crappy neighbors that continue to complain that we are too loud.

So as I continue to look for a job and look for a house in our budget we just do things in the house that can be fun. Watching movies, playing games, etc. You will never really get ahead if you keep charging. We had decided to pay off everything before ds was born and now only have one CC for emergencies only!!

By Mommyathome on Saturday, February 14, 2004 - 10:55 am:

You are definitely not alone! I think that things can be "tight" no matter how much you make. The more you make, the more you tend to spend. People that make a lot of money have a lot of nice things...boats, big beautiful homes, brand new cars and so on. Things are probably tight for them too! Imagine having to pay for all of those things.
Keep your chin up! One day you'll look back and be very proud of yourself for making it through the tough times.

By Bea on Saturday, February 14, 2004 - 04:02 pm:

Well, when this Granny was starting out, we thought we were lucky to have one car. DH drove me to the military post when he went in some mornings. I would walk to my doctor's appointments, (I was newly pregnant) or visit a friend and kill time until late afternoon. Then I'd do the food shopping in time for him to meet me and bring me home. Our vacations were trips back to see our families. We had an old Ford Falcon that he bought for a song, and patched together.
We were lucky to have military medical care, because we sure couldn't afford insurance. We rented our furniture in our first apartment. When my baby came, I rented a washer and hung his diapers out. We couldn't afford a dryer too.
Yes we are comfortable now, but that was after years of making do, and waiting to get the nice stuff. We worked. We saved. We drove old clunkers that he worked on every weekend. I sewed clothes for my kids and myself. We didn't buy anything we couldn't pay off within a month. Our kids worked, and bought their own cars and helped with clothes and their own expenses. I didn't think I was poor. I felt we were working our way up.

By Tmpst44 on Saturday, February 14, 2004 - 05:38 pm:

I like most of you that are posting your feelings here, I have to say that I too have been there and am still there. I just moved from a town where I lived that the landlord decided to evict 150 low income familys from our trailer park because he wanted to build storage sheds on his land. We had been fighting this for over 3 years now, and through the results of this there were around 120 families that did move and some into shelters. I also finally moved but was lucky to be able to stay with family members that I hadn't seen in 30 years, and I have been blessed by it. By saying that I have to say that I think that we just have to manage the best that we can, and hope for a better tomorrow. One thing that I found when things get ruff for me, and seems like I can't bare anymore, that all these things that happen only make me a stronger person so that when I see someone going through the same kind of things I can be able to say that there is a rainbow at the end of the tunnel. Its the little things that count.Its hard out here right now and many many people are going through this same thing, some more then others. But I take these as growning times. Things will get better. The other thing that has helped me is to think of happy times and try and reflect on them. Another thing that can help is go bake a cake or something that is real real sweet and not good for you. This will always put a smile on your face, cause you know that you shouldn't have it. LOL. Problems are a learning experience and we all go through them at one time or another, and being poor is part of it. But as long as you don't allow yourself to be poor in love. Good Luck to you, but trust me you will be ok cause theres a lot of us out here that understand.