Feeling like the bad guy

Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive February 2004: Feeling like the bad guy

As most of you know I'm a family child care provider. I have a full time 6 1/2 month old boy I watch (have had him since he was 2 months). He was out all week last week sick and his dad is home sick today. Today little *J* was sleeping a LOT more than normal. I usually get 1/2 hour nap out of him in the AM and about 1 1/2 hours in the afternoon. Well today he slept about 1 1/2 hours this morning, then fell asleep on me (which he's NEVER done before), fell asleep in the car when we picked up the kindergartners, stayed asleep after I brought him in the house and then didn't want lunch when he finally woke up. He had to be hungry because it'd been about 6 hours since he last ate. I'm thinking possible growth spurt. Anyway, I picked him up out of the high chair and he was very warm. I only have an ear thermometor and it said his temp was 98.9. I called dad because little *J* just isn't acting like himself. Dad asked if he had a temp and I said not one that's registering on the ear thermometor. Dad says, well, I'm come get him but his sleep schedule's all messed up from last week and he's been sleeping on us at home lately. Well I'm sorry, but this kids was NOT acting normal for me! If it were my kid I'd have picked him up pronto. Dad didn't seem to act too concerned. I would have called Mom but she's a teacher and Dad's first emergency contact anyway (she can't just leave school at the drop of a hat--he can with his job). I hate when parents make me feel guilty for their kids being sick and not being able to be here. My mom had called right before I picked *J* up and felt he was warm. I told her "Gotta go." I called her back after he left and she couldn't understand why Dad was so resistant to picking him up. I know Dad doesn't feel well either, and I even told him "Sorry to bother you when you don't feel well," but this is his kid. Like I told my mom, I don't want something to happen to him here. I don't want anything to happen to him anywhere, but if something is wrong it's better he be with a parent than me. *sigh* Guess I just needed to vent (again! lol at least it wasn't the cat this time!) Thanx for listening.

Update: Mom just called (while I was editing) to see if *J* had any diahreah this morning because Dad had called her and said *J* had a 101* temp (I knew my ear thermometor wasn't accurate!) so Mom called doc and they asked her that. Poor little guy.

By Truestori on Tuesday, February 10, 2004 - 05:16 pm:

Vent on...lol
What makes me mad about the whole daycare thing is sooooo many parents bring their kids sick and it really makes me mad! If your child is sick then he/she needs to stay home! It seems that most parents could careless if their kid gets another families kid sick..UUGGHHH ok I'm venting too...LOL

By Cat on Tuesday, February 10, 2004 - 06:13 pm:

He wasn't sick when Mom brought him this morning. He was actually in a very good mood. Mom did say he'd slept in later than normal, but neither of us thought anything of it. Hopefully it's just a 24 hour bug (like Dad had--he's feeling better this afternoon). I did send a 3yo home a couple of weeks ago that was sick in the morning when her dad dropped her off. She was coughing, runny nose, sniffling, the whole bit. By 2pm she had a fever and I called Dad to come get her. Mom came about 15 minutes later and said, "I had no idea she was this sick!" Whatever. She's probably the reason *J* was out all week last week. Yes, it irks me when parents send sick children to daycare/school. It also irks me when they medicate their children so they're nonsymptomatic long enough to drop them off and make it look like they're not sick when they really are. I want to scream at them "It's part of parenthood. Deal with it!" Okay, I'm done now.

By Sue3 on Tuesday, February 10, 2004 - 06:30 pm:

Hey Cat ,
You did the right thing.I`m sure Dad was hesitant about picking up his little guy because he didn`t feel well him self
But..... oh well, like you said that`s part of parenting !
Hope tomorrow is better for you.
We have been having alot of flu and strep
here in Michigan.
We havent had it ........ yet ! Yikes !
I hope we don`t.
It`s DD`s birthday tomorrow , the golden Birthday
11 on the 11th.

By Cat on Tuesday, February 10, 2004 - 10:43 pm:

Sue, I hope you guys don't end up with either the flu or strep. Randy seems to get strep every time it goes around. The flu has passed here for now. Now they're seeing a lot of RSV cases. We had three babies from church with it last week (one was a set of brothers--2 1/2mo and 19mo--the other was a 1 1/2mo girl--scarey). Pretty bad for a small church (about 70 in attendance every week). A friend of mine works at the ped's clinic at the AF Academy and she said they've seen a LOT of kids come in with RSV. They are expecting the flu to come back next month, though. Hope your dd has a great birthday tomorrow!

By Kittycat_26 on Wednesday, February 11, 2004 - 08:07 am:

That's a shame that Dad didn't seem to care a little bit more. I sort of understand where he is coming from though. I'm first contact for Timmy at daycare and there are times when he should probably stay home but I have to go to work. Most days, he is fine and makes it through the day but other days I have to go and get him.

I have to work and I can't stay home all the time. It's sort of a judgement call. When I was a kid, it was the same thing with my parents and honestly 9 times out of 10, you could get through the day by just getting up and moving. For kids with both parents that work, this is a fact of life.

By Yjja123 on Wednesday, February 11, 2004 - 08:39 am:

I also babysit and often take kids that are sick. Granted I now only watch one families children so they are more an extension of our family (I have watched both children since they were 6 weeks old).
I remember how difficult it was to get days off (when I worked a regular job) so I try to be accomadating. If the child has something that requires prescription medication I require the parent to administer it.
Of course this often means that my family will likely catch whatever is going around. This seems to happen regardless if the child is kept home a day or two. There has only been a couple times when I insisted the mom pick up. One the child had a 104 fever and two the child broke out in a rash and had a horrible cough.
It is a hard decision to leave a sick child at daycare. Employers are becoming increasingly more insistant that you give them 110% (while they do not give you the security of knowing your job is not going to be ripped out from under you).
I doubt I will ever work a "real job" again because of the demands put on you. I am lucky that my husbands job allows me to stay home (and the extra income I make by ebay and babysitting give us that extra boost we need).
Now on the subject of the husband. I think most men are quite helpless when they are sick. I really doubt my husband would be very helpful in caring for our sick child--in particular if he too was sick. My husband is my biggest baby when he is sick! LOL

By Cat on Wednesday, February 11, 2004 - 11:14 am:

*J* is out again today. He still had a fever this morning. I do occasionally watch mildly ill children. I take them with colds, ear infections, illnesses that require antibiotics AFTER they've been on them 24 hours, stuff like that. The big thing yesterday was we didn't know what was wrong with him. He just wasn't acting like himself at all and given he's only 6 1/2 months old and can't tell me what hurts, I thought he should be with his parents. If I had a 6 1/2 month old at daycare and he were not acting normal and had a fever I'd want to pick him up. Also, if a daycare child is miserable they need to be at home with mom or dad, not at my house with 2-5 other kids running around, making noise and bugging the sick child. I also like to think I get to know my dc kiddos and can tell when something's not right. I had a 2yo boy in Maryland once that I watched part time (twice a week). He NEVER cried while at my house. One day he woke up from his nap just screaming. I knew something was wrong and called the dad. When he answered the phone I said, "Hi, it's Cathy" and he immediatly said, "Is that Andrew?" Dad came and got him and he ended up having an ear infection. If you have a school age child and they throw up or get a fever while at school (or a rash, or a sore throat, etc) the school calls and wants them picked up. They don't let them tough it out the rest of the day, and as a parent I wouldn't want my kid to have to tough it out, trying to keep up with the rest of the class or sitting in the office miserable. I tell my parents if they're too sick to go to school don't send them to my house. I also tell them if they're sick child comes to my house and gets either me or one of my kids sick I'm going to be calling them to find backup care anyway because they won't be able to come. This is all in my contract (sick policies) that the parents all know about. And this particular dad yesterday was already home. Granted he was sick, but not that sick (already on the mend). I told Mom I almost called her instead so I wouldn't bother Dad and she said she'd have called him to pick *J* up anyway. lol So there you have my 2 cents (give or take a couple dollars! lol) on the subject. I'm done now.

By Kittycat_26 on Wednesday, February 11, 2004 - 11:23 am:

Cat, I think that's great that you are willing to take kids that are "mildly" sick and that's the stuff I'm talking about. There is a difference between sick and SICK. I didn't read close enough to see that the baby was that young. I've only had to pick Timmy up one time from daycare and his fever was 104 in the ear. It came out of nowhere. I'm pretty sure I broke all kinds of speed barriers that day to get to him. He was just limp. It scared the crap out of me but made me glad that they had enough sense to know when sick was really SICK.