Ok. My mil and I get along pretty good but only because I am nice to her. We are expecting a baby in April and she said that after the baby she was going to give us $500. Now we never asked for it and I told her no that thatwas a lot of money and she could put it towards her debt or make a trip to see the kids or something like that. Her reply was that she felt bad that I had to work (part time while my husband parents the children)and that she hasn't helped out with school books (my dh is a junior in college)and stuff like that. Well the dilema is should I make a big deal and not accept it or should I just take it. My problem is that she feels bad for not supporting us when it is not her job to support us. She likes to give money away and act rich (she is 30,000 in debt)and it makes her feel good to flash cash around and she is always insisting on giving us money here and there and talks about how poor we are and basically feels like we couldn't make it without her (when in actuality we are better off than her when it comes to the ratio of bills to income and debt and such). Alot of the time I just take it because otherwise she makes a big deal adn will hide it in our stuff or something like that. I just don't like her thinking that she has to supprot us or our kids. She doesn't understand that we are not her financial obligation. My dh's older brother gets money from her all the time and she then feels bad adn tries to give us money. NOw part of me thinks that I am stupid to turn down $500, but with all the strings attatched stuff I would rather not, but wonder if it is worth the work of trying to convince her that she is not responsible for us and to cut the strings. My husband knows all this, but he is just like well lets take it. She is going to spend it somewhere (becuase she can't not spend it) oh well. But I don't like the feelings and baggage attatched. I hope I made sense.

By Newbabysarah on Friday, February 6, 2004 - 12:09 pm:

Juli- if you want to talk about mil's, see my post from last week. Take it from someone who DOES NOT get along with my mil, take the money. I wish my mil would give us money, for whatever reason it was. jmho.

By Texannie on Friday, February 6, 2004 - 01:47 pm:

I would accept the gift graciously and then open a savings account with it. If ever she was in need you could use the money to help. If not, you have started a nest egg for college expenses.

By Kate on Friday, February 6, 2004 - 01:52 pm:

I agree with Texannie. She's a grown woman and if she wants to give away money, despite her circumstances, and despite your protests, what else can you do? Sounds like there are strings attached even if you DON'T take the money because she'll be miffed and might make a big case out of it. Accept graciously, but simply, don't act like she's just saved you from welfare. Simply say, 'thank you, that's very kind of you' and change the subject. And then open that account Texannie mentioned.

By Texannie on Friday, February 6, 2004 - 02:39 pm:

If she does bring it up in front of others, just simply say "yes, she has been very generous with her gifts" and leave it at that.

By Ginny~moderator on Friday, February 6, 2004 - 06:26 pm:

I agree with Texannie. Take the money graciously and tell her you are opening a college savings account for this new baby and really appreciate her making the opening deposit. You can't control what she says about you to others, though I suspect that most of these "others" know what is really going on. But if you can tell anyone who comments that you put it into a college savings account for the baby, it takes it out of the "welfare" category.