Why did we choose international adoption?

1) I have always wanted to adopt internationally ever since I was in junior high. My younger sister had a friend who was adopted from Korea and I was fascinated by the process and his family.

2) The first time we adopted we were not parents yet and wanted the experience of adopting as young a child as possible. We were not comfortable with domestic infant adoption for several reasons...A) birthparents can change their minds B) we could wait years and years and years and still not get a child

3)Why not adopt a child in U.S. Foster Care? Living in a state that is VERY "Preserve the Family at all costs" we knew that adopting a child placed in foster care would be a very difficult process. Having researched this further in the past few years I have found from other who have adopted through the foster care system and trying to adopt a child in another state's foster care system is also VERY difficult. Workers are short on time with too many cases and interstate compact makes the process even more time consuming for them. So while there are MANY MANY children here who need homes the process is far from easy and probably more complicated than international adoption.

4)Children who are available for adoption in foregin countries really have no future in their home countries. This is particularly true of children who have minor to major and even correctable medical needs. In many cultures the birth parents feel that they are being punished if they give birth to a child with an anomily and that is why the children are relinquished. These children would not be chosen for adoption by parents in their own country and so would live out their childhood in orphanges until they "age" out.

Soooo for us we felt that while the U.S. foster care system is FAR from ideal at least children here have a system in place to help them and they have a good chance where as children elsewhere may actually have NO chance at a future.

Lastly..because Vietnam and China were the two countries that OUR children were born in.

Adoption really is a wonderful way to add to your family. If you have any other questions that I could answer for you please just ask!!

By Marg on Friday, January 30, 2004 - 03:26 pm:

Tammie, I think it is wonderful that you adopt, and I know you are blessed because of it

By Melanie on Friday, January 30, 2004 - 03:34 pm:

I don't mean to butt in on your post, Kathie, but I just wanted to share something a friend of mine said to me as I think you will really appreciate it. Her and her husband have two daughters they adopted from China. I asked her one day why they chose to go through China to adopt. I loved her answer. She said there were all the logical reasons, which were all the ones you just stated. But then she said that the real answer to that question was because that was where she knew here children were.

I still get choked up as I remember that conversation.

By Mommyof4 on Friday, January 30, 2004 - 07:57 pm:

Melanie,

That is exactly it! Because that is where my children were (two of them at least).

By Dawnk777 on Saturday, January 31, 2004 - 12:04 am:

My sister adopted a son from Guatemala about 5 years ago. He was already 3yo. I can't imagine our family without him!

Since he was already 3, they wanted him to go to a family that had already had a child. My Sister and her DH had a daughter a year before Alex was born, but then were never able to get pregnant again. Then she found out about another person who had adopted a Guatemalan child and that got the ball rolling.

Her daughter was the kind of baby who never slept! She ran them ragged for her first few years. they were always tired. As a result of this, they were glad to not be getting a newborn baby! It worked out great for everyone.

By Kathym on Saturday, January 31, 2004 - 12:34 pm:

Thank you so much for your response...it will give me a lot to think about!!! We had really been talking about a foster child adoption but I am really attracted to China for some reason. We will definitely look into this further.

By Babysitbarb on Sunday, February 1, 2004 - 01:17 pm:

My DB and DSIL just got came back from China in November with my neice and they had such a great experience with their adoption that they are ready to go again. She turned 1 while they were there. We can't imagine our lives without her. They also just found out after 17 years of marriage that they are finally pregnant but, if everything goes right for them they are still planning on one more trip to china and possibly two.They have asked me if I wanted to go next time,(joking with me) but, I would do it in a minute if I could talk my husband into it.My problem is I would want to bring them all back and that isn't possible. People have asked them why China and they have said for one thing they knew when they got her there was no one ever coming to try to get her back.They have a couple different friends who have adopted from China and I think with their plesant experince that helped in their dission on were to adopt from.