I have a friend that lives away from her family. They are in TN and she is in DEL. She is just getting along financially.. well barely. Yesterday, she found out her dh was sexually abusing her dd and he was arrested. Currently, She has no heat as he didnt buy oil and they have no money.

Are there agencies that she can call to get a bit of money to tie her over til she can leave and even assistance for her and her 3 children to leave?

By Mrsclark on Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 07:51 am:

She should be able to go to a women's shelter to at least be warm. I'm not sure where you call, but look up shelters for women, etc., and call around. At least until she can sort it out, that way she also isn't alone. And they can also give her assistance and point her in the right direction. That is just terrible. How very sad. I hope it was just a bad rumor, those things happen, too. I'd hate him to be accused and it is wrong, but better that than for it to have been true. Of course, I do not know the situation at all. Hugs to her.

By Annie2871 on Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 08:07 am:

She should also be able to go to the local Food Stamp/Medicaid office and get help or local churchs would probably help too.

This is horrible, I hope your friend and her kids will be okay!

By Renee on Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 08:14 am:

I really wish it were a bad rumor. Last night she said the police came and took some evidence.

It all really makes sense because he dd has been having problems the past few years and this is the time that she said he's been doing it to her.

Thank you for all the help. I'm relaying it all to her.

By Mrsclark on Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 08:21 am:

OH my, how very sad and hard to deal with, for both mom and dd. Is dd all she has or are there more kids? I know it doesn't help, but I am so very sorry. That is just something that is about the worst thing a mother could find out, especially being the dh (not d for dear in this case mind you!)

By Marg on Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 08:31 am:

Please have her go to her local county assistance office for emergency help. They will get her so much fuel/food stamps, etc if her income is within the limits. I would tell her to go there right away.

This is so sad and I'm so sorry.

By Eve on Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 09:07 am:

Heatbreaking. I agree with Marg. Her city or town should have an emergency fuel assistance budget that is set up for these kinds of things. Also, if she has a church they could help. It wouldn't hurt to call some local churches for help, even if she is not a member. I'm sure they would be very helpful in this situation.

By Eve on Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 09:09 am:

BTW-Please tell her to call and talk with the Manager or Credit Manager at the oil company and tell them what is going on. I worked at an oil company for 6 years and I would have found a way to help her. Even if they just give her the number for Fuel Assistance.

By Trina~moderator on Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 09:14 am:

A heartbreaking nightmare. I can't add anything that hasn't already been said, but this woman and her kids will be in my prayers.

By Renee on Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 10:00 am:

I just got off the phone with her. She has 2 other children. They have not been touched by dh. Thank God.

She has contacted her mother and she is driving up to get her. They are contacting a few agencies to get help to pay for her to move her stuff. She said her dh may be out of jail by Friday and she wants to move by this weekend. But her house is a mess. She just got out of the hospital from a 10 day stay and no laundry is done so she needs to catch up with that and still talk to police and social workers and spend time with her kids and get heat.

I was at a loss on what to say for her. I just kept crying with her as she talked to me. Her dh was not her dd's father but he'd raised her since she was very young.

Thank you for the prayers for her. I know she would very much appreciate them.

Oh.. no church for her. Her dh didnt want her to attend as a form of control on her. (yes she was physically abused by him, I found out)

By Mommyathome on Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 10:53 am:

Well it sounds like things are figured out now. I would have suggested the same things as above. A womens shelter would be a great place for her kids to stay while she is packing up the house. How far away is her mother? I hope everything works out. That is so sad. Please keep us updated.

By Dananivyboo1 on Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 12:00 pm:

She can get Foodstamps I believe for one month or more depending on financial stuff. Like she cant be driving around in a new car, because they will ask if she has one and may have to sell it before she can get any help. At least that is what happened to a friend of mine.

CHIP, may help, but I believe kids have to be uninsured for at least 6 months.

Womens shelters are definitely good cause they will help you get job and help in all ways.

By Dana on Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 12:43 pm:

Prayers for your friend. I would think the shelter could help her find assistance. I would also have her ask for help in the move/cleaning. 10 days in a hospital is not over something simple, and she needs to stay healthy. Make sure she swallows her pride, and asks for help. I can't imagine any person not being ready to help her.

By Colette on Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 12:50 pm:

If she can't be out of town by Friday and he gets out, she should get a restraining order against him for her and the children.

By Renee on Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 01:43 pm:

Oh yes.. I forgot to mention that she was going to get a Restraining order today too.