Neighbor kids vent
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive January 2004:
Neighbor kids vent
Just wondering if anyone else has this
problem. My house has always been the one
all the neighbor kids want to come to. I do not mind it if lets say every other day or so if they want to come over for a little bit. But its ALL THE TIME and its really starting to bug me.
The very second my son is home from school the phone is ringing and kids are knocking at my door and have even woke up my napping 2 year old many times! This morning school was delayed 2 hours and would you believe at 9 am I had kids knocking at my door wanting to play!!! My son just can't understand why I do not wants kids here everyday.
I know he does not understand how it can get on ones nerves. Just wondering if anyone else has this problem? Hey I am glad he has friends but this is crazy! When I do allow kids to come over they could be here for 2-3 hours and no one even calls for them or checks on them. Gee what if I was some weirdo?? Thanks for letting me vent.
Sorry,I dont have this problem but a friend of mine does. It drives her crazy.
We dont have that problem,I kind of stopped it before it started. My son likes to play after school. His friends would come over after school, which is when my daughter naps. They would knock at the door and the dogs would bark, and I would get mad.As, I didnt want the dogs waking up my daughter. SO I told him, he needed to tell his friends they were not allowed to come to the door after school as thats when his sister naps. So that was settled. He just goes outside when hes done with his homework. And, hes not allowed any friends in when she is sleeping. So basically, the kids dont come here anymore, and its a nice thing for me 
Isn't it sad, are their parents home?
Trisa, when we first bought our house (we live in the country) we had a neighbors in a house next door that was made into two apartments. Upstairs they had a dd about 4 or 5 and a 1 yo. Downstairs, military mom, strange dad and two dds maybe 5 and 3. We have a very good size yard. A stream runs through it and at the end of the property is a railroad track where the water seems to create a pond in the spring and summer months. Sometimes this pond can be 2 feet deep and 6 or 8 feet across. We had no children and we have plenty of wildlife, deer, turkeys, bobcats and even a bear at one point.
Anyway, our house and this neighbor's house sit at an angle and the pond sits within this angle. Our neighbors knew the water was there, and it is on my property and it is at least an acre from there house. You can not physically see this pond from any view of their house.
One time I came home from lunch and found 3 little girls wading in this pond. I went down, asked their names and decided they were the neighbors kids. Took them home both mom's apologized and went on my way. This same event took place many times, whether I was there or not. Dh was in the Navy at the time and overseas. This scared me to death. Finally I got both moms together, explained the situation nicely and requested their children not be in any part of the yard unless I am home. I requested the mother's knock on my front door and ask me to play with their kids.
They said ok, didn't work. Always found the kids in my yard, playing with my dog, in the water, in an old shed, in the woods, one day up on the railroad track.
Both couples finally moved away, which was a blessing. I was always afraid I would find a child face down in the water.
We even have two policemen that live back our road. I told them. They said I didn't have to do anything about the water, it is not a pond all the time, but I could turn the couples into social services. I should have.
If it is different kids, I think what I would do, is put a note on the door, for early visitors. Just be firm with them, make sure you go to the door, and just say this is not a good day, or come back at 2 you can stay untill 3.
My dd, have had friends come over to stay the night, and I have not even met the parents, so I write all the information down on a paper, and make them call their mom, with our phone number my, and my husbands name ,and our exact street addresss. You could also make a phone first policy, not before say 11:00 .
With us, it is weekends we get all my daughters friends here, I call it our revolving door, some weekends we have all 3 dd friends here on one night, that makes 8 of us in total, makes the grocery bill go through the roof. A few of the friends want to stay the following weekend also, and I will just say no, you were here last weekend. The problem here is that my girls will not go stay at anyone elses house, so we usually end up with the kids. My dh, is more willing to have all their friends over than me, he loves getting up in the morning, and making a huge breakfast for all the kids, french toast, pancakes, sausages. He grew up with tons of people around him, and it was common to have 10 people at the breakfast table.
I am frustrated today with this problem. Our kids are home from school today and I was in the shower at 9a.m. when DS friend came to the door to play. DS knew he couldn't play outside today because of the bitter cold and he has asthma. So I guess he took it upon himself to invite his friend in. I think this is way to early for kids to come for a visit and I like to get my house cleaned in the morning, and it just seems like my whole day is thrown off now. His mom goes to work and his older sister watches the kids and I don't think she gives a hoot where they are.
Its now almost 10:30 and he is still here. I am going to give them another 1/2 hour and then kindly ask him to leave so that DS could get his bedroom cleaned. Do you think I am mean by asking him to leave??
I don't think that's mean at all. You have things to do and he's been there long enough.
When we were kids, we never called anyone before 10:00 or never went over before 10:00. It was just what we were told by our parents. I think anything before 10:00 may be too early.
YES, YES!!! I have grand central station too!! I get the neighborhood kids for 6-8-10 hours at a time. I've had 9 kids over at the same time before. I get them at 8:30am on Sunday morning wanting breakfast. It's crazy! No one else's parents can stand having kids in their house so if these kids want to play they are either outside, weather permitting, or in my house.
I would say to the parents, Why do I always get the kids?? The other parents replay, "My [say name of their spouse who isn't standing there] doesn't like kids in the house." Or, "My little one is napping" I say, ALL DAY?!?! She naps ALL DAY LONG??? It was just an excuse. They didn't want the noise, the chaos, the food bill, the mess (Oh yea, here's another popular excuse, "The housekeeper was just here and I don't want to get things messy.") and their kids were hounding them to let them go visit.
These parents - all with multiple kids, me with just one - loved having the break. They loved unloading their kids over here. That's just the plain truth. If I say NO MORE then the other parents would just not let their kids play anymore. It was either outside, in my house, or forget it. Total insanity.
Now the upside to this. I got to know these kids really well. I watched them, spied on them, talked to them (they told me things going on in their lives they didn't tell their own parents!), fed them, made things with them. And guess what?! One of them is...well, how do I put this... is on his way to becoming a sexual predator. It started out as playing doctor which I busted numerous times. Then it escalated. All the parents think he's just this wonderful kid, star student/athlete (he's 10). He's not. He takes kids into the bushes to touch dingdongs, to pee on them. He poops in people's yards. He pees on their belongings. I know this bec I have spent a lot of time with this kid. He's sick. No one believes me. But I know. He is now ban from my house (and as been for 8 months). My son is not allowed to play with him ever, nowhere, at any time. The other parents? They just don't believe it. It's normal. I'm blowing things out of proportion. Another kid is being negatively influenced by this sick boy bec they are close friends. His behavior is just getting worse and worse and he is starting to destroy property, too. I have watched this progress bec the kids were over here so much and had been since they were 3 or 4. Parents are paddling down the River Denial. And since I ban the sick kid other parents have said if that kid isn't allowed in then neither are their kids. Gee, I'm devastated. Let me get a kleenax.
Had I not let the kids over here and interacted with them like I did for years I might be in denial, too.
So that's the plus. You get to know these kids so you can judge whether you want your kids around them. It's a hassle, but enlightening.
You have some good ideas. I do feel sorry for
the kids. They have parensts who just do not spend any time with them. I have even had one of the mothers call me many times asking if her kid could come over because she was going to the store and he did not want to go. I am like a free babysitter. And so what if the kid does not want to go. Make him go for cryin out loud!! I agree 9 am is to early to be beating on the door. And today was a school day it was just delayed 2 hours.
On 2-hour delay days, I'm always amazed at how fast that 2 hours goes and then it's time for school. I can't imagine trying to get ready with other kids in the house! We haven't ever had that issue, thank goodness.
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