Will you/do you/did you leave your children home alone for a significant amount of time?

Oprah's show is sad today

I hate to admit this but I was in 9th grade before I stayed home alone for a significant amount of time. We lived in a rural area, I didn't mind in the daytime but in the night time I did. Mom would even let me babysit when I was younger than 9th grade at our house instead of other people's homes.

I'm not sure. My dds are 11, 8 and 3. I will let dd (age 11) when she is ready, but it will probably not be before 13-14. But if it's later than that I don't mind. I'm not even sure if I'm ok with that age. We have neighbors but still live in a very rural/wooded area.

Some of the people on the show, especially a Navy couple went to work everyday and left a 9 month old home frm 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. What were they thinking? I am sorry this is such a sad show.

I know a lot of them say they can not afford daycare, etc. And I believe them but you can not just let children home to fend for themselves.

By Trina~moderator on Wednesday, January 14, 2004 - 04:31 pm:

I remember reading about that Navy couple.

Although I don't know for sure, I believe some states actually have laws set as to how old a child has to be before it's legal to be home alone. I also think a lot has to do with a child's individual level of maturity and responsibility. Differs from child to child.

My kids are 5 & 7 so we are a looong way off from that milestone. I think they will be *at least* Jr. High age, most likely older, before I even consider it.

By Mrse on Wednesday, January 14, 2004 - 04:46 pm:

a 9 month old? They should be put in jail, their is no excuse for that. My dd is 11 and she has just recently started to stay home for short periods of time. When she is sick, and home from school, I was getting one of her older sisters to stay with her, but last year she was sick alot, so grandparents took her, as I could not keep letting my other kids miss school as well. She is off school right now, but dh is unemployed at the moment so he has been home with her. When she is at home alone the dogs, are in the house, and no one would ever be able to get by the bigger dog, he is a black lab, and can be very scary, when he wants to intimadate someone.

By Yjja123 on Wednesday, January 14, 2004 - 04:50 pm:

Does anyone leave their children alone to go to the neighbors house. I remember my parents used to play cards on friday night at the neighbors and I would be home in bed. I knew they were next door if I needed them but still I can't even imagine doing that with my children.
I left my daughter (9 years old) home alone once for around 10 minutes. I gave her the phone took my cell and called her before I walked out the door so we were talking to each other. I went to school picked up my son and came home. The entire time she was on the phone with me but I was a basket case. I let her stay home because she was in the bathroom with the flu and couldn't stay off the toilet for even a few minutes. I felt like the worlds worst mother. I cannot imagine how parents do this on a regular basis and think kids are old enough to fend for themselves?

By Jackie on Wednesday, January 14, 2004 - 04:56 pm:

I just got done watching Oprah. Im sorry, the whole show made me sick to my stomach. The Navy couple was from the area I live in. I dont know them. I didnt realize they didnt get punished. Is that crazy or what???????????? My goodness they left a 9 month old baby home alone for months and all they have to do is take parenting class. That is just crazy to me. Im so outraged on this whole matter.
And how about that single mother and she works long hrs. And the 11 yr old leaves for school by herself and comes home each day to an empty house and cooks dinner and eats alone every night. Im sorry that just breaks my heart. There is nothing in this world that would make me leave my kids home alone to go to a job...Ok, talking about young kids LOL...The whole show made me so sad.

By Marg on Wednesday, January 14, 2004 - 04:59 pm:

Jackie same here! Just think how these kids have grown up

By Sunny on Wednesday, January 14, 2004 - 05:02 pm:

My oldest started staying home alone for short periods of time when he was 13. He's 15 now and while I'm more comfortable leaving him here alone, I still don't like to be gone for more than a couple of hours at a time. I'm sure that will change as he gets older. I don't remember why I thought 13 was the cut-off age, there is no law or ordinance I know of, but I felt it was the right time. As far as my younger boys, it will be 13 also as long as they are mature enough at that age to handle it, but they will all have an older brother(s) there so they won't always be alone.

By Mommmie on Wednesday, January 14, 2004 - 05:34 pm:

Missed the show...9 months old?? EEK! That's awful!

There is no law in Texas as to what age but the parents can get in trouble if the situation is dangerous or something like that for any age child left home alone.

This subject comes up among my coworkers a lot. Many of us are working parents. A few had their kids walk or bike home alone starting at age 10. That's too young for me, I think. My son is 9 and I don't see him doing that next year. For most of those folks it's a money issue and/or the kid wants to do it since they feel too old for aftercare. Other parents here wait until age 12 when the aftercares and daycares won't take them anymore.

My brother and I started staying home alone at 9 and 10 for some evenings every now and then (my mom was a SAHM so aftercare wasn't an issue - or even invented yet!) I hated it bec my brother tortured me during that time.

By Kernkate on Wednesday, January 14, 2004 - 05:35 pm:

The first time I left my oldest DS who is now almost 18, home alone was he was 12. And that was just to run to the store for 10 minutes. And I was a nervous wreck!! He did fine,I was the one that was nervous! He is and has always been very mature for his age. At around age 15 I felt he was ok to leave alone for a few hours if I had to.
I have a 9 yr old DS that I would never leave alone.
A 9 month old that is terrible!! I could not imagine. I am glad I didn't watch Oprah today...I would probably cried the whole show.
I thought States had laws about children being home by themselves...I thought in PA , at one time it was age 13...not sure tho...Maybe the law has changed.

By Dawnk777 on Wednesday, January 14, 2004 - 05:43 pm:

My mom started leaving me home when I was 10! I started leaving my daughters home alone when my older one was 11 and the little one was 8. Now, they are 14 and 11. We do leave them home alone and we always have the cellphone with us. At 14, the older one is old enough to babysit. The 11 yo will be 12 on March 23rd. They have been fine at home by themselves.

By Mommyathome on Wednesday, January 14, 2004 - 06:14 pm:

I'm watching Oprah right now. The parents didn't get charged with anything in that 9 month old case. Not sure how I feel about that.

I don't remember how old I was. I was in my early teens. I wasn't left home for much at any point. It was just me and my mom, so I was usually with her. I did babysit for others, but again, I can't remember the age I started that.
Our babysitter started with us when she was 12. I felt comfortable with her at that age, and we've grown to just love her.
I think a lot depends on the individual. One 12 year old may be a lot different from another 12 year old.
Not sure when I'll leave my kids home alone. Not for many many years from now though!

By Bobbie on Wednesday, January 14, 2004 - 10:11 pm:

My oldest two started staying home when DD was 11 and DS was 9 for short trips (to get gas or run through the drive thru for something probably about 10 to 15 minutes round trips). Then when DD was 12 we started leaving them alone for longer trips (grocery store, Dr appointments about an hour little over maybe). Now that DD is 14 we have just started leaving the girls who are six with them. They have always done well. But they get a long very well, I think that has a lot to do with it. I have my cell with me and on the whole time and I have neighbors that live very close. So they know what to do in the case of an emergency. Since I open enrolled DD into the city school I have to be at the school to get her DS 11 (will be 12 in FEB) gets dropped off by his buss while I am getting her he lets himself in after school. But we are usually here before he even gets his snack fixed. But I wouldn't have an issue with leaving him home. They are both pretty mature and level headed. And like I said we have had no problems. And they have been staying home for almost 4 years now. I think it all depends on where you live and what type of child you have. I have a friend whose DD is 14 and she is just now leaving her home alone for quick trips.

By Bellajoe on Thursday, January 15, 2004 - 02:58 pm:

I don't know how old i was before i was left home alone.
I know they didn't leave me home alone at night till i was probably at least 13 or 14 yrs old. Most of the time if my parents went out at night, i had a friend come over. They knew we were good kids so it was no big deal.

I am shocked that the people who left a 9 month old baby home alone didn't get punished. Can you imagine how hungry the poor thing would get, or the diaper rash he/she has? Unbeleivable. People should take a intelligence test before they are allowed to have kids. Really, in order to adopt a child the adoption agency has to know your whole history, do a house visit to check out your home, probably do psychological examination. They should do the same before they can take a baby home from the hospital.

Sorry, i guess i just had to vent there for a sec.

By Lauram on Thursday, January 15, 2004 - 03:59 pm:

I don't think there is a specific law that states an age- it's just that they can't be left where it would be unsafe. There are rules about public places though. I think it's 12 in CT. My dk's are young now, but I think I'll be ok with it for an hour or so by the time my ds is in sixth grade- while he does his homework. He'll be 11 1/2. There will be strict rules though- no tv, internet, cooking..... I'll also have phone answering and door bell ringing talks! We'll see. He's VERy responsible now.... Also, I ALWAYS have a cell phone with me and he'll have that. It seems like a long way off though. To me, a BABYSITTER at that age seems more of a "threat" than being alone....

By Andyjoy on Thursday, January 15, 2004 - 06:08 pm:

I was 11 (fifth grade) and my sister was 9 when we started staying home alone for up to 3 hours. However, when my parents went out at night we still had a "babysitter" until I was in sixth grade. At 11, I was also babysitting other people's kids during the day. Every kid is different, however. My sister wasn't allowed to be home alone without me until she was 12 or 13 because she was too scatterbrained and got scared easily.

It's sickening to think of people leaving tiny children alone like that poor baby!

My aunt (single mom), used to leave her 8yo dd, 6yo dd, and 2yo ds alone for hours at a time. My mom pleaded with her not to, but my aunt wouldn't listen. The kids didn't even have to stay in the house! My mom was so worried that they'd be kidnapped or abused. It took the 6yo breaking her arm falling off the trampoline to make her mom realize she needed to make better arrangements.