Well, I thought I was adjusting ok, it has been a month. I guess, it has really hit home this week that we have moved. I am just so sad today. I miss my family and friends. Ds started school and I am not real thrilled ( I posted on the parenting board) Ds really did well though. The kids were so warm and welcoming with him. He, at least, seems better about things. Dh used to always get home by 6pm so we could eat dinner together. He is now not getting home to around 7:30 or 8:00pm. He doesn't even see the dks some nights. And did I mention, I hate the cold. We were below 0 with wind chills yesterday and I HATE IT. How does anyone get used to this??? I walked out of ds's school and a big gust of wind came. There is lots of snow on the ground, so all of that ended up in my face. URG!!! I am trying to be a "big girl" and not come down on dh for moving us again. Also, trying to put on a happy face for the dks. My 3 yr old told me last night he missed his old house and wanted to go back to Texas.

Thanks for letting me vent. Please send some strength my way to get through this adjustment.

By Jackie on Wednesday, January 7, 2004 - 08:13 am:

Debbie,
SO sorry you are having a hard time with the move. It is always hard moving no matter where you move too. But, moving to a cold climate is even worst, expecially when you arent use to the cold winds and snow...
I lived in the Chicago Suburbs for 29 yrs until moving here, and I STILL hate cold weather. When it gets colder here like in the 30's(which is nothing compared to cold weather in Chicago)Im complaining about it like a big baby. People who I know always ask me , why Im complaining, I should be use to this ". NO, cold weather is something you never get use to.
But on the other hand, there are people who love it.. Just never understood that.
Im sure once the weather starts warming up, you will start enjoying your new home more, and the environment and go exploring. Its hard to want to go out and explore, when there is 3 feet of snow on the ground.

By Mrsclark on Wednesday, January 7, 2004 - 08:50 am:

Debbie, another one I missed -- where did you move from and to? I moved about two years ago to Ohio. I came from Ark. and was happy HAPPY to get out of there, and yet I got quite sad, too. I didn't know anyone, etc. I really was sad moving from the West Coast to Ark. in 99 when I got married. That was rough. But now I'm doing better. I've made friends and know where the stores are! I also do stuff with our church and that helps. How old are your kids now? My ds is 17 and is at a tech school and I just wish he didn't go and grow up on me! But he's happy, so...I'm okay...uh...sort of. If you had lots of friends and family you left behind, I know that must be hard. I don't have any relatives here (other than DH and DS, of course). Guess this post didn't add any strength for you -- I'm sorry. You are being thought of though! I hope sunshine comes to you someway, even if not through the sky! Hugs to you....

By Marg on Wednesday, January 7, 2004 - 09:12 am:

((((Debbie)))) Praying and thinking about you I wish I could send warmth your way, but it's cold here in PA too Think Spring

By Trisa on Wednesday, January 7, 2004 - 09:17 am:

I know what you are going through believe me!!
I have been married for 15 years and have moved 9 times! My husbands work is moving in 2005 and we will be moving again. Staying in the same state this time, but Its still starting all over again. My son who will be 10 this month does NOT want to move. I am sick of moving BUT of all the places I have lived I hate this place the most. I will miss our church but I can not stand the city!! It will take time but you will make friends. It gets easier with time.

By Karen~moderator on Wednesday, January 7, 2004 - 09:17 am:

{{{{{Debbie}}}}}} Moving is one of the top 3 or 4 stressful things you can do in your life. It's harder when you have strong ties to the people and places you've left. Harder still when you have kids involved.

My opinion - you AND your kids will grieve for the friends you have left, and for the life you had there. It was part of what made you feel secure and happy. But that is not to say that you can't be secure and happy where you are now. Give it some time. You and the kids will make some new friends. You can keep your old ones, even though you don't see each other often. You will begin to make a home and a life there. Right now it's all new and foreign, and I'm sure you feel *raw* and exposed and isolated, in a sense.

I briefly read your post about DS's school before I left for work this morning. I'm sorry you aren't happy with that situation. I suppose you could say that the *good* thing about that is that it is mid-year, so if you have to, could you maybe find a different school for him for next fall?

I know that your DH not getting home until *late* is making this adjustment harder on all of you.

Hopefully, as Janet said, when it warms up you will get out more, learn who and what and where things are, and start to feel you are part of it. Make it a new experience, for you and the kids. Use it as an opportunity to grow and learn.

By Blueridgemom on Wednesday, January 7, 2004 - 09:29 am:

((hugs))

What Karen said! A wise response.

I really feel bad for you and I realize how fortunate we are that we haven't had to go through what you are experiencing, and how much I appreciate DH and his job.

However, my DH has to travel sometimes, and some nights he is not home until late. That ALONE can leave me feeling stressed and depressed. So I can hardly imagine how you must feel going through that every day, and in a new location as well.

If you are a praying woman, then ask for guidance...God has brought you to this new place for a reason and a purpose. I have to pray for energy and the focus to do the things I need to do, and I often get that inspiration from NOWHERE but it isn't nowhere, it is God working in my life.

If you are not a praying woman then please forgive me, I don't mean to preach, I just wanted to share with you the source of my strength.

Take care,
Christy

By Debbie on Wednesday, January 7, 2004 - 10:17 am:

MrsClark, we moved from Texas to a suburb of Chicago. Big change!!!

This is our 3rd move in 6 years, so I know there is an adjustment time. But it still makes it hard. I think I really need to talk with dh. He hasn't helped as much this move. In his defense, I think he feels it is easier since we have done it before. However, it isn't. Doesn't matter how much you move, it takes time.

Christy, you didn't offend me at all. I do pray and feel that everything happens for a reason.

Thanks for letting me vent.

By Mommyathome on Wednesday, January 7, 2004 - 10:24 am:

((((hugs))))

By Trina~moderator on Wednesday, January 7, 2004 - 11:12 am:

{{{Debbie}}} I'm was born in Canada, and have lived most of my life in New England, and I still hate the cold! I'm "used to it" but that doesn't mean I have to like it! LOL! I grin and bear it the best I can until Spring.

It takes a long time to settle and feel at home in a new community. We moved to my current town 5.5 yrs. ago and I finally feel comfy. Joining the Newcomer's Club and meeting other moms through my kids has been a big help. Also, since Eve moved here, it's NICE to have family in the area!

By Trina~moderator on Wednesday, January 7, 2004 - 01:53 pm:

Debbie, this morning I bumped into a friend of mine who moved to my town (in CT) from San Antonia, TX. I told her, "A cyber friend of mine just moved from TX to the Chicago area, and she's hating the cold." She rolled her eyes and replied, "Oh, I've so BTDT. The first year is tough. Tell her it will get better after the first year. Oh, she probably won't want to hear that. LOL!" I met her through our town Newcomer's Club. Such a sweetie! In fact, I think her kids are similar in age to yours. She has a DD in Kindergarten and a 3 yr. old DS.

By Sue3 on Wednesday, January 7, 2004 - 03:16 pm:

{{{Debbie}}} sending strength your way

By Cat on Wednesday, January 7, 2004 - 03:30 pm:

{{{{{Debbie}}}}} I'm sorry you're having a tough time with this move. I really feel for ya. We've moved more times in the past 12 years than I care to count. It will get easier. I know you know that, and it doesn't help much to hear it right now, but it will. Hang in there, Girl.

By Annie2 on Wednesday, January 7, 2004 - 11:04 pm:

I grew up in New England. Although I wish my kids could have snow because for kids, snow is awesome! Mommy dresses you warm, Mommy undresses you, mittens go on the radiator to dry, hot cocoa, snow days....endless.
As an adult, snow and cold temps are just that: snow and cold temps. Unless you are skiing, sliding, skating, taking cute pictures of the kids in the snow...it's a pain.
Plus the cabin fever that can develop when everyone is stuck in the house for long days....
(((HUGS)))) this too shall pass.
I live in FL. The winter you are experiencing now is my mid-July....(as you know!)
beach is great for the kids...mom finds bathing suits, mom packs lunches, snack, drinks, toys.....no snow or cold...but sand, sun exposure, undertow and sharks.
Instead of hanging mittens to dry there are bathing suits which need to be de-sanded, soggy snacks to unpack, showers to be taken....
You'll adjust. What is important is that your family is together...cold, but together.
(((HUGS)))

By Kaye on Wednesday, January 7, 2004 - 11:35 pm:

Debbie, we did the move thing 6 months ago. And like you we have had 3 moves in 5 years. So I completely get it. (((HUGS))). I know the best thing for me is to find a church, it just gives you something to do and people that notice if you are missing. This last move I was able to join a tennis group and play often, that was great. But really any small group of people you can gather with will help. I am not sure what area you are in, but Willowbrook church has a great reputation. As for the cold, we moved to tx from Ohio (and did the opposite originally), boy does it take adjustment! I hated the cold, but loved the snow sports, here I miss the seasons! And schools are the PITTS! When we moved to Ohio my dd was in just a bad school situation, I knew know one, I was just so SAD. I decided that I needed to keep her in the school for social reasons and I ended up homeschooling her in the afternoons. On top of playing taxi to my preschooler, because I couldn't get matching schedules for them..UGH! Just rambling, ugh...I feel for you it can take so long!

By Debbie on Thursday, January 8, 2004 - 08:15 am:

Thank you all for the support and encouragment. I know it will get better. Dh and I are just a little discouraged with the school system. We also just aren't used to this weather, so it is really hard. I think our timing with this move has made it harder. Moving in the middle of winter is not the best time. Also, the boys and I aren't used to being stuck in the house, which is driving us nuts. Jordan is really settling in school though which makes me feel much better. I am just trying to make it through the next few months. I know it will be easier to settle in then.

Thank you again for all the hugs and support. They definitely help!!

By Feona on Thursday, January 8, 2004 - 08:29 am:

Can you join a gym to get you out of the house more? I really bundle up and go for walks but if it is windy or under 30 degrees I don't go. Winter Sucks.

By Debbie on Thursday, January 8, 2004 - 11:02 am:

Feona, Dh set up all my exercise equipment in the basement. We have so much stuff...treadmill, full weight set, etc that I hate to spend the money on a gym. I have been working out again this week which seems to help. I was in great shape and then stopped working out when we moved. I also put on 8 lbs which doesn't make me feel so great. I am hoping to take it back off in the next few months.

I did join a Moms group last night that my neighbor recommended. They had a preschool info. night that I went to. Everyone was really nice so I joined. I also found a preschool for my youngest ds. I am signing him up for next fall. He is very excited.

By Dawnk777 on Thursday, January 8, 2004 - 06:03 pm:

It is hard to move to a new place. Even when it's in the same state, so that the climate doesn't change very much. When we moved to Sheboygan 10 years ago, my best friend from college lived here, so I really didn't have problems finding someone to do stuff with. She had her friends and they soon became my friends. Also, I had a great next door neighor, too, who was also a young mom with kids. We moved into our house 7 years ago and I still miss having her as a neighbor.

We don't get together all that often even though we only live about a mile apart. Lives get busy and I just don't think about it. We talked on the phone recently. When we lived next door to each other, sometimes we could look out our windows and watch each of us talking on the phone to the other! LOL!

By Janet on Wednesday, January 14, 2004 - 02:44 pm:

Debbie, I've been meaning to write to you, but I can't while I'm at work (I can't remember my password!)--I just want to send you big hugs!!! I live a couple of hours southeast of you, and I know, this cold weather has been the pits! I moved up here from Kansas 12 years ago--not the same as you, I know, but there definitely is a difference in the winters. I've also heard Chicago is extremely cold on account of the lake. I just want to offer encouragement to you and to let you know that it will take time, but eventually you'll get used to it! I wish you could've been able to take it slow and get acclimated...
Hang in there, be good to yourself and don't expect to be a native all of a sudden. I still get homesick for the prairies! There's a lot of beauty in this state--when you can, get out and explore it (not just your city, but other parts, too). You'll make it, don't despair! :-D

By Debbie on Wednesday, January 14, 2004 - 04:54 pm:

Thanks Janet. I am doing better this week. The weather hasn't been too bad until today. Gosh, the wind is just terrible. I don't mind the cold so much as the bad winds we get from the lake.

The boys are doing better which makes it easier and dh has been getting home at 6pm again. He has set the alarm on his cellphone to remind him when it is time to leave work.

The homesickness just seems to come and go. I think we are just bored. It is just too darn cold to go anywhere some days.

By Dawnk777 on Wednesday, January 14, 2004 - 05:47 pm:

I have lived in WI all of my life and most of that life has been along the lakeshore of Lake Michigan. I guess I don't really mind WI winters all that much. Of course, I haven't EVER wintered anywhere else, so this is all I know. Spring will come soon enough. We are just about halfway through January already.

On the plus side, spring comes much sooner to Chicago than it does to Sheboygan! So, keep that in mind! You will be having nice warm temps when we are still a bit colder up here. I live between Milwaukee and Green Bay!