My 9 month old got tons of toys for Christmas. His birthday is right around the corner and I don't want him to get lots more toys at his birthday party. Do you think it is ok to put gift suggestions on the party invitation?

By Mommyathome on Tuesday, January 6, 2004 - 10:42 pm:

Hi Audrey!
My little guy turns 2 this coming Friday. We are in the same boat...lots of toys for Christmas!!
I don't think I would include suggestions on the invitations, but that's just me. But, when someone asks what he needs, just be honest and tell them NO TOYS! (we are getting him a bike)
My MIL called last night and asked what my DS needed for his b-day. So, I told her no toys! She asked if he could use shoes, so I said sure! So, she is getting him shoes and some socks too.

The reason I wouldn't put suggestions on the invitation is because that may make people feel like that's all they can/should get. Maybe someone has a special idea, or a special toy that they've previously purchased especially for his b-day. I wouldn't want to hurt their feelings.

By Annie2 on Tuesday, January 6, 2004 - 11:00 pm:

I have never stated anything regarding gifts on an invitation.

When my children our invited to a party, they LOVE buying their friend something special just for that friend. I love watching a child give their friend their special gift. They hold up their box and shout "open Mine next!".

When I am invited to a party, I love buying a gift for the occasion. If it were stated on the invite not to do so; I would anyway. I "never show up at a doorstep, with my hands by my sides".
The last quote was stated to me by my Mom.

Let your baby open the gifts. Keep the ones he wants, put some away, then donate the rest to charity or "re-gift" them down the line.

By Pamt on Wednesday, January 7, 2004 - 12:08 am:

I agree with Annie about people likely bringing a gift anyway and then you can donate to charity or something. However, for a party for a one-year-old I would assume that you are primarily inviting family since most 1 y/os don't have a really wide social circle. For close family or family who asks specifically about what type of gift you might suggest a book (verbally not in an inivitation). Books make great gifts and you can NEVER have too many.

By Bea on Wednesday, January 7, 2004 - 02:13 am:

From the etiquette side of this question, the answer is definitely, “No. You should never suggest any gift on an invitation.”
However, I doubt that anyone would find it in bad taste to say..."Instead of gifts for the Birthday Boy, please bring a can of food that we will donate to the local food bank in his honor."
You could decorate a basket in which to collect and present the food.

By Mrse on Wednesday, January 7, 2004 - 02:27 am:

I would not put anything on the invitation, either, but what I would do if anyone asks would be to say, if you want to buy a toy, it would be nice for him to have some toys that are appropriate for the next stage of development, that way you can put them away, and you have some things for him to play with right away soon as he comes the age of use. He is 9 months now, so say 15 months of age, that way they are not sitting in the closet forever. I liked it when our dd's got clothes that were a little big, then when they grew, we had a new outfit.

By Babysitbarb on Wednesday, January 7, 2004 - 09:35 am:

My DSIL and DBIL are going through the same thing.My nieces 2nd birthday is Saturday and she got tons of toys and they really don't want anymore.The stuff is starting to flow outinto the living room. They actually gave me a beauty shop tikes toy for my daycare kids because they are so over full. I told her just when she called people about the party just say she really needs clothes and she already has more then enough toys." Their house is small and that makes it hard also. It's mostly family and a few friends anyways.I just had a baby shower for my DB and DSIL and we did put suggestions on the invite for many reasons.The suggestions were certificates and to certain places and were they were registered and her size of clothes. It was a large shower. We did just one with all the family and all their friends. We had over 200 people come and we probably invited twice that many. They adopted and she was already 1 when they got her so it was easier then getting lots of stuff they didn't need.

By Kaye on Wednesday, January 7, 2004 - 09:44 am:

When you are dealing with close family I think ettiquitte is different. I had one friend who threw themed parites. Like her dd was turnign three adn she was getting a cat and the invite, mostly calls just said, Miriam is turning three and a cat is her wish, help us make her dream come true, we supply the cat, what else might we need? One year they did a beach theme, etc. Worked out well, people got to pick gifts, but it was also stuff she needed.

By Andi on Wednesday, January 7, 2004 - 10:30 am:

My sons Birthday is on Jan. 3rd so we have it one week after Christmas and he just turned 3. I would never put suggestions that would be in poor taste. Maybe you can suggest stuff to people who ask or like someone said above, donate the items to a charity.
Hope you little one has a wonderful Birthday.

By Missy3 on Wednesday, January 7, 2004 - 11:05 am:

Just an idea, I have had attended MANY parties where gifts were specific. One, it takes me less thinking what to get the child. i.e a video or book party-great ideas!!! I just had a donation party for my 7 yo, she donated 92 new books to her schools library(her b-d day is in NOV)!! She was proud to do it too. She knows she gets too much stuff.

By Carolk on Wednesday, January 7, 2004 - 11:15 am:

I agree that it shouldn't be put on the invitation.

I have issues with my mother. This Christmas she wanted to get my DD an excersaucer and she told me all about it and what it did. But when I told her we already had one from when DS was a baby, she got all upset that she couldn't get this particular one for my DD. I told her that we didn't need two of them. The one we have is 4 years old, but my DS didn't like it, so it was hardly used. DD likes it so now she's using it. My mom constantly asks me if it's okay if she gets them this or that, and when I tell her I'd rather they didn't have it, or that we would like to buy it for them, she gets mad or upset. So I finally told her to stop asking and just get whatever you want. We'll just do with it what we want.

Our house is just so cluttered with toys, we would love for the kids to get clothes and one toy for birthday presents. They usually get an outfit and a toy from my BIL and his DW. I wish everyone would do the same. My DD just had her first Christmas and her Birthday is in May, so I'm hoping she'll get some clothes, only because we already have one year old toys from when DS was her age. Everything is still in good condition. Sorry this was so long.

By Audreyt on Thursday, January 8, 2004 - 12:00 am:

Thank you so much for your opinions! I think you are all right about not putting it on the invitation. Thanks for the suggestions too!

By Tripletmomme on Friday, January 9, 2004 - 01:38 am:

Just a little suggestion, Our triplets b day in in Jan also, I let my mother hand out the invitations. She then talks about how much they like Mcdonalds and how many toys they have, so then she just kind of works in that Mcdonalds gift certificates are so great. And that sinse we rent a hall for the party thats less that we have to take home also. It works out great!

By Kathym on Friday, January 9, 2004 - 01:32 pm:

I once casually asked a neighbor what her child would like for his bd before I got the gift. She then went so far as to actually buy the gift and I reimbursed her for it. ( i did wrap it and include a card) I was so sorry I asked afterwards but she was very insistent that she buy the gift so little "Fred" could get what he wanted. Needless to say I avoid this neighbor now. Great suggestions for my own ds's upcoming party though!