I Think Ex-DH is Recording our Phone Conversations . . .
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive January 2004:
I Think Ex-DH is Recording our Phone Conversations . . .
My woman's intuition just tells me real strongly that ex-DH is recording our phone conversations regarding child support and visitation with our DS. I don't have anything to hide, but I'm just getting real uneasy feelings because I sense that ex-DH is up to something. Isn't illegal to record phone calls without consent? I'm feeling really uncomfortable . . . any comments or advice? Thanks. 
Yes, I do believe it is illegal. You must first be told that your conversations are being recorded.
Maybe you could start recording the conversations and start the conversation off by saying:
"Just so you know, this conversation will be recorded. By law, I have to inform you of that". Maybe that will make him wake up and realize that there could be a legal side to all of this.
((((hugs))))
I hope you get things figured out and can put your mind at rest about it.
This is what I found...
The federal law makes it unlawful to record telephone conversations except in one party consent cases which permit one party consent recording by state law. What that means is a person can record their own telephone conversations without the knowledge or consent of the other party in those states that allow one party consent.
It's important to understand the difference between what has become known as one party consent and two party or all party consent. One party consent simply means that one party to the conversation must have knowledge and give consent to the recording. Two party or all party consent means that every party to the conversation must have knowledge and give consent to the recording.
There are twelve states that require all party consent. They are:
California
Connecticut
Delaware
Florida
Illinois
Maryland
Massachusetts
Michigan
Montana
New Hampshire
Pennsylvania
Washington
There are 38 states that permit one party consent. They are:
Alaska
Arkansas
Colorado
District of Columbia
Georgia
Hawaii
Idaho
Indiana
Iowa
Kansas
Kentucky
Louisiana
Maine
Minnesota
Mississippi
Missouri
Nebraska
Nevada
New Jersey
New Mexico
New York
North Carolina
North Dakota
Ohio
Oklahoma
Oregon
Rhode Island
South Carolina
South Dakota
Tennessee
Texas
Utah
Vermont
Virginia
West Virginia
Wisconsin
Wyoming
In all 50 states and through federal law, it's considered illegal to record telephone conversations outside of one party consent. There are a couple of exceptions. In the state of California, one party consent can be applied only under circumstances in which one party is involved in criminal activity which would include extortion or blackmail. In the state of Arizona, the subscriber to a telephone service can record telephone conversations with no party consent when criminal activity is involved. Other than those two known exceptions, all other recordings outside of those states that permit one party consent are a violation of state and federal law. The question is often asked by clients if they can record the telephone conversations of their spouse in a domestic case or the conversations of their children concerning drug usage. In both of these cases, the answer is it's unlawful. Many clients will complain that they own the telephone and pay the telephone bill so they should therefore have a right to record what they want. However, the law doesn't address who owns the phone nor who pays the phone bill. It only addresses the use of one party and all party consent. Anything outside of that is a violation of state law and federal wiretapping law.
The Federal Communications Commission goes further into details on recording telephone conversations and states that the party recording must give verbal notification before the recording and that there must be a beep tone on the line to indicate that the line is being recorded,.
Calls Crossing State Lines
Calls that cross state lines become complicated legal issues especially when one state is a one party consent state and the other state is an all party consent state. What has happened is that you didn't violate the law in the one party consent state and violated the law in the all party consent state. Moreover, since the call went across a state line, the federal laws would certainly apply. The most famous case involving this type of issue is the Linda Trip case. You will recall that Linda Trip recorded the telephone conversations of Monica Lewinski concerning her relationship with President Clinton. Trip was in Maryland and Lewinski was in DC. Note that Maryland is an all party consent state while DC is a one party consent state. The law is actually quite fuzzy on these issues. The recorder is advised to assume that the sticker law would apply.
My suggestion would be to contact an attorney and make sure what laws (one party/all party consent)apply in your state and see if there might be something you can do to prevent the recordings OR to keep him from being able to use them against you. And most of all watch what you say period. But from what I have read in a quick search Illinois is a two party consent state. Thus if he is recording, it can not be used against you. But that said I am sure there can be justifications behind the use of the tapes (abuse, neglect etc) which would be up to the judge sitting in on the case as to whether he will allow the tapes or not. The judge always has final say for what can and can not be used in his/her court. Call and attorney......
I would come right out and ask him if he is recording. If he lies on tape and says no, then it looks bad for him if he ever tries to use any of it against you.
Joy, according to your profile, you reside in a state that is *all party consent*. I'm not clear on the legalities of this, but I know I would be highly PO'd if MY X were taping our conversations.
I actually know someone whose X did this to her first husband. 10 years later, when my friend was married to her, she was stupid enough to leave literally dozens of these old tapes in the closet. I have actually listened to many of them. It was a total scare/manipulation tactic on her part. What was really scarey was she was a certified paralegal and I guess she thought she knew everything, she would go so far as to call third parties and attempt to initiate discussions that would possibly harm her X and she would ask the third party the date and time as she was speaking/taping so she'd have that on record. She proved to be quite the psycho, and when they split up, he found all these tapes. Now they are in the hands of legal personnel, and she's got some explaining to do.
If you currently have an attorney, my suggestion would be to contact him/her and voice your concerns. Personally, I think anyone who resorts to these matters in your average divorce/child custody/child support situation has got a screw loose somewhere, and is, at the very least, controlling and manipulative.
Stand your ground and don't allow him to intimidate you. And keep written records of all of your conversations, including dates and times, and your thoughts on the conversations.
I hope Ginny sees this thread, she can probably shed some light or give some valuable advice/opinions on this.
{{{{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}} to you.
If you have an attorney, do tell him your concerns. However, I would bet serious money that since you live in an "all party consent" state, anything he tapes (if he is taping) cannot be used and your attorney would simply object to any recordings being admitted in evidence. The only exception might be the life or safety of a child or the planning of a felony. (I wonder, by the way, if maybe he is having someone listen on an extension rather than taping.)
However, as long as you watch what you say, there should be no problem. I mean, seriously, watch what you say. Don't be flip, don't respond to questions which are not clear, don't say "no you can't see the children", instead, say, "according to the court order you are allowed visitation at such and such times and you are requesting an additional visitation. If you want to change the visitation schedule, have your lawyer contact my lawyer." Don't get into any discussions about money except to say "where is the check" or "I got the check". Certainly don't answer any questions about money or spending. If you are asked about a child's school progress, doctor visit, etc., anwer politely and factually because as a parent he is entitled to this information.
Above all, don't let yourself be bluffed or buffaloed by any thoughts of taping. If he is taping you he is violating the law, and that will be his problem - not yours.
P.S. discussion about child support in terms of how much and how often and what it is intended to cover are discussions you should hold with your attorney, not your ex - don't get sucked into such discussions. Just say - have your lawyer talk to my lawyer.
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