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Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive January 2004: Is this strange to you..
Im posting ANON, simply because I find it embarassing(I know spelled wrong).My dh pointed out something last night, and I figured I would ask here. Its nothing new. Im a very privite person, Ive always been privite. When I was growing up, I never had to share a room(Only girl) around so always got use to get dressed and undressed by myself. I dont like people in the room when Im undressing, even now Im uncomfortable, crazy I know. Also Ive always been one to go to the bathroom with the door closed. Of course with the kids, they have come in and out. Not so much my older one anymore, but the younger one still does on occasion. Im ok with this. But, I will not go to the bathroom with my husband in there. I always shut the door. It doesnt make a difference what Im doing, the door is always shut. Last night he went upstairs first, and was brushing his teeth, so I say "Hurry up I have to go to the bathroom"(Granted we have 3 bathrooms total, but didnt feel like leaving the bedroom). So he said, you know most women wouldnt have a problem going to the bathroom with their husband just in here brushing his teeth. So I tell him Im not most women. But it had me thinking? Am I just that strange? Is it strange for me to want my privacy? Or am I just crazy ?lol
You're not crazy, it's not strange or weird. You're entitled to your privacy, plain and simple. And if you think about it, guys just DON'T care who they go in front of, so call that a *guy thing*. And, at the risk of giving too much information, I'll just say that I will sometimes *go #1* with DH in the bathroom, but that's IT, if you get my drift.....and there are certainly times when I want to be ALONE in the bathroom.
This is a personal thing that's different for everyone. You're not strange or crazy, it's just YOUR personal preference. As for me, I have absolutely NO problems dressing/undressing, showering or using the toilet in front of DH. We've been married 15 yrs. and it has always been that way. Keep in mind, he's one of the few people who are allowed those privileges. I certainly was appreciative last week when I hurt my back and he offered to help me dry up after showering and even helped me get dressed.
I have to say I was the same way with the bathroom thing until just recently. Now, I will go *#1* (LOL...that makes me feel like a little kid) with DH in the same bathroom.
Robin, you are SO right about when you have babies-I've told people that if you had any modesty to begin with, you certainly lose it all when you're in L & D, since everyone that comes in the room seems to look between your legs or put their hand *up there*! LOL
It is very much a personal choice. I was like that when DH and I first got married. Now 9 years and 2 kids later...anything goes! You are not crazy.
Well Ive had a couple of kids too, and still dont like going to the bathroom in front of other people LOL(IM original ANON)
ANON
I have been married for 4 yrs and have a 3 yr old. I still go to the bathroom & shut the door to get dressed. I lock the door if I have to use the bathroom. I am pregnant now and I almost make myself sick before every doctors visit. I thought I had some kind of complex or something. I am glad to know that I am not the only one.
You're not strange at all! Dh doesn't come in the bathroom while I'm in there and I don't go in when he's in there. I remember being in labor with my now 8yo and the nurse wanted me to get up and go use the bathroom (during a contraction, no less!). So she, dh and I all head that way and I said, "You coming, too?" to dh. lol That's the ONLY time he's EVER seen me pee! We've been married almost 12 years now and I don't see that changing. Must be something to that only girl thing (I have two older brothers and no sisters so I had lots of privacy). I will change in front of dh, but I prefer to do that alone as well. I've had two kids and still have a LOT of modesty!
I never let my dh in the bathroom when i'm *going* and i don't even WANT to be in there when he is *going*! LOL There's just some things that should be left private IMHO.
Not only do I like to be in the bathroom alone I have also never peed in the woods/outside and I don't intend to start now! I can and have been in the bathroom with dh and or dd but it is not my favorite thing.
I'm don't mind #1 with company in the bathroom with me, but #2 and when I have my period, I expect people to leave me alone. Although, sometimes I have to say, "Do you mind?" LOL!
I have no problem with DH or the kids being in there when I #1. But like Dawn, #2 or on my monthly I get the bathroom to myself. But there are 6 of us and only one bathroom. So you do what you have to do.
Oh geeze, I forgot the monthly thing....no way is ANYONE going to be in there.
I have been married 13 years and don't mind tinkling in front of DH at all (or vice versa). However, anything more than that and I want my privacy. We both agree that some things should remain a *mystery.*
I'm not, and have never been a bashful person. I have no trouble peeing behind a tree when outdoors, or leaving my bedroom door open while dressing. I have sheer window treatments, and think that if anyone is desperate enough to want to see a fat, naked, older body, they can have a good look. That being said...I think using the toilet is a private affair. Even my cat refuses to go unless we leave the room where her litter box resides. I'll shower, spray my underarms, shave my legs, tweeze my eyebrows and clip my toenails with someone else around, but when I sit on the toilet I want to be alone.
LOL Bea, your post made me laugh
That's another thing. I would just as soon put on pantyhose by myself, also. DH always has to make a comment! Grr!
I'm a nudist at heart...so changing in front of Dh isn't a big deal! LOL As for going to the restroom, I'm like Bea...I have no problem squatting in the woods..LOL
My DH and I are pretty open about this type of stuff. I usually keep the bathroom door open, and sometimes when company is here, I have to turn around and close the door. LOL! ;)
I've been married almost 14 years. I'm a breast cancer survivor and also in 2001 when DS was born it was a prolonged back labor , really messy, and a horrible emergency c section. I was bleeding like crazy for 2 days after and hardly able to get out of the hospital bed with the pain pills not really working for very long. DH helped me with everything thru both the above crises. I mean EVERTHING- #1, #2 , my period pad changing and also every 20 mins pad changing after my C-section, puking my guts out etc etc. I guess I'm immume to him being around whenever during whatever. He is too. During my sickness we needed to keep an open door policy as I needed open bathroom access 24/7. So he gradually lost his reservations.
I will pee anywhere I can or have to. I've gone in 32 oz cups in the front seat of the car on the interstate while DH was driving. I have NO bladder capacity. I've gone in cups in the car in parking garages. I've gone behind trees, and I will go anywhere I can that won't get me arrested, as long as there's something/someone to shield me from view.
Oh my, LOL @ Karen. You nasty old woman.. EEEWWW!!!!!!!! J/K LOL
I will have to say I can pee anywhere. In our house no one shuts the door unless they are going #2 and to be honest only Rich shuts the door then I don't and neither does Timmy. I will change in front of Rich and walk around in my bra and underwear ( no less than a bikini anyways) in front of Timmy (never less). The only time I shut the door in the bathroom is for company or if it is that time of the month cause my son doesn't need to see that stuff. Rich I don't care what he sees and he doesn't really care either. If the door is closed and I am in there he knows why so he doesn't come in and Timmy has now learned if it is closed leave it that way (just scream through the door!!) LOL.
I have been married so long, that DH and I have no secrets from each other, either, but we were always that way. We "go" in front of each other. In fact, DH will wait until I am in the bathtub, to decide that he has to go #2. Fortunately, I usually light a nice candle before I get in the tub, so it helps with the "aroma". LOL!
i agree that it is each persons personal preference.so don't be hard on your self for the way that you feel.but,i also am very comfortable going to the bathroom with my dh,and vice versa.several yrs ago,i had a very hard bout with my colon.during this time period,i would cry and almost pass out when i had a bm.so my dh would sit down in frount of me and hold me while i was going ,because it was so painful.sometimes i would be so weak from it,he would have to clean me up.i hope thats not too much info.but i was thankful that we were comfortable enough with each other to do this.
Here's a twist that no one else has mentioned... with my ex, we shared the bathroom completely, not caring who was doing what into the toilet! Running around naked in front of each other was no biggie, either. But with my second dh, to whom I've now been married three times as long as the first, modesty prevails We never share a bathroom or nakedness (except, well, you know...)--actually, I miss the intimacy, but we just never did, and it's too late to begin now!
It's NEVER TOO LATE!!! LOL
I am not embarrassed about being naked. I walk around naked sometimes in teh morning. Our kids are still young (under 3). But when it come to going to the bathroom I usually shut the door. NOt necessarily number 1 but definetely number 2. And if dh walks by the door he doesn't look in or talk to me. Oh and I never wipe in front of him. I have but neither one of us likes to have the other around when wiping. We are both respectful of that. And I am even more private during the monthly cycle. BUt we just know our boundaries and respect it.
I agree with Stori. Strip down and run through the house Anon it is never to late.. LOL
Im somewhat like this also. I have always been a private person and feel uncomforatble undressing in front of anyone even my DH and we have been married for 16 years. I will go to the bathroom with him in the same room but, the undressing thing just seems harder for me. He will come in sometimes when Im in the shower and stick his head in to talk to me. It is uncomfortable to me but, it doesn't phase him.I have gained some weight over the years and this makes me uncomfortable about myself but, I was even like that before when I was a size 5.
anonymous,here's the perfect chance to start up a " second honeymoon" for you and dh.dim the lights,or better yet,get out the candles,put some soft music on ,and walk up to him with nothing on but your beautiful smile !!
Don't feel weird at all, Anon! Like everyone before me has said - it's a personal preference. I guess maybe some of it has to with how you grew up. I grew up in a fairly modest home myself, so I sort of carried that over into my marriage as well. My husband teases me once in a while, but he understands that I am just private. In my mind, also, I feel better keeping bathroom issues, monthly issues, etc. behind closed doors, because I think it makes me feel better that he doesn't see that particular not-so-glamourous side of me! LOL Granted, he certainly has seen me vomit, he sees me every morning when I roll out of bed, and he sees me at my outer worst - I just can't bear the thought of him being in the bathroom with me, lol. I know that many of my friends are like a lot of the gals on this board - quite comfortable with themselves. I just am not in that area. I will change my shirt or pants in front of my husband in a hurry, but that is rare. So you see, you are not alone. I also had a terribly long, difficult labor (posterior baby, grr), and had everyone and their brother take a look at one point or another, but my husband was overseas during the birth, so I was sad that he was gone - but thankful he didn't see me in that state, lol! Now THAT is probably weird! But anyway, I intend to teach my daughter the same modesty - it is just comfortable for me. She is only 7 months old now, so naturally it's okay that she still takes a bath with Daddy and I, but as she gets older I will start instilling a little modesty in her. She can decide when she gets older if she wants to run buck-naked through her own place - and frankly, I say "more power to her" if she is that confident, LOL! You're not alone by any means, Anon! :-)
How 'bout this. How many talk on the phone while using the bathroom? I will, but ONLY with my mom. I usually take it in there with me if dh isn't home, just in case someone calls (like the school with tales of my ds's latest adventure! lol). Just curious.
All depends on the person but I have been known to talk on the phone while I go too. And I also take the phone with me if no one else is home.
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LMAO