My two boys(one is almost 10 and the other is 7) wait at the bus stop each morning with 2 other neighborhood boys. The two boys are 9 and 10. The bus stop is one house down from us. They wait by themselves, but I do watch out the window to make sure they get on the bus. Lately, they have started this Kung Fo fighting thing, and there has been a lot of pushing and shoving. Well, my youngest is always the one that gets pushed down, or hurt. He is much smaller then the other ones. I know they are not hurting him on purpose, but I am getting tired of it. I have had to walk outside a few times the last couple of weeks, to tell them to cut it out. I have talked to my two about keeping their hands to themselves while they are waiting for the bus. Well, once again this morning my ds got pushed down. He was crying when I went out. The bus came right when I got to the corner, and he said he wanted to get on. I was going to clean him up and take him to school(his hands were scrapped up), but he didn't want to. So, I let him go.

I want to start standing at the bus stop with them until they can cut it out. I know they will hate this, and be embarrassed that their mom is waiting with them. Dh just wants to start taking away video games(this will kill oldest ds) Dh is really upset with my oldest. I am more upset with both. Youngest ds is not all innocent, he also is involved in the "playing around" I was upset though that my oldest didn't even seem concerned when my youngest got pushed. He didn't even bother to help him up.

So, what do you think?

By Happynerdmom on Friday, December 14, 2007 - 11:15 am:

For me, it's about the appropriate time and place for this kind of playing around. Obviously, the bus stop is not the place! I think standing out at the bus stop with them is the perfect, natural consequence. When they can show you that you can trust them to act appropriately, they can be by themselves. Boys are so fun, LOL.

By Annie2 on Friday, December 14, 2007 - 11:40 am:

I agree with Michele. Before school, at the bus stop is not the time to horse around to the point where kids are being knocked down.
I walk my 10 year old ds down the block every am and am there every pm.
If I were you I would make it a point to be at the stop and I see no problem with telling the other boys to quit wrestling while waiting for the bus.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Friday, December 14, 2007 - 12:13 pm:

You can see them from the house so I am assuming they can see you. I would tell them that this is the last time they pull this stuff at the bus stop. I would tell them that I will be standing on the stoop (atleast) until they can prove to me that they won't be horse playing in the morning any more. I would also set up a list of consequences if it happens in front of me or again after I stop standing on the stoop. Next step will be standing at your bus stop with you. You will loose your Play Station for the day every time you are caught putting your hands on someone else, or allowing someone to put their hands on another person. You (the boys) are responsible for your actions and actions have consequences and you will not put your hands on another person at the bus stop again or I will have to give you consequences for ignoring the "family" rules. Your job is to stay clean and uninjured while you wait for the bus, my job is to give you consequences if you can not perform your job properly.. It is also my job to supervise you while you learn the rules of your job.

Standing on the stoop and making the other kids aware that you are standing there, should stop the whole mess. Letting your sons know you mean business and following through with the rules you lay down is the only effective way to make them see that you are not going to be swayed from this stance.

I would also have a discussion with the oldest about not helping his little brother. He shouldn't be his keeper, but he needs to have compassion for what is happening and think of the way being shoved down feels to his brother. A simple knock it off, probably would have helped. They all get together and they don't react the way they should because of the "ground" effect. Everyone laughs, you laugh too mentality.

By Unschoolmom on Saturday, December 15, 2007 - 06:46 am:

I think you need to be out there. It's not just your kids, it's the two others as well and taking video games away from one of your son would only deal with 1/4 of the problem. They need supervision.

I'd walk out and cheerfully say to all of them that you've noticed they have a problem with roughhousing before the bus comes and you're there to help them make sure it doesn't happen again. You'll be there for a certain number of days but after that you'll leave if they can come up with a plan to behave properly.