My brother and I live in the same town he lives maybe 10 or so blocks from us. Not far at all. My parents came into town to run my brother around. They never onced stopped by or called and said were in town do you want to meet or something nothing. I called my parents early this evening and no one was home. I didn't think nothing of it I figured her and my Dad were out shopping (not once thinking they were here). my brother calls and I ask have you talked to Mom or Dad today. He tells me no Dad had a dr appt. I said okay he says nothing about them being here. So My Mom calls and tells me well we were we had to run your brother around town to do errands. It hurt my feeling and I said why didn't you stop or call Ohh you weren't home so we just did what your Brother had to do and came home. THe only time I was gone today was when I picked my kids up from school. I was hurt but also mad that for one my brother lied to me and that they couldn't stop or nothing. I told dh that I really didnt want to have anything to do with them right now and We are thanking of just staying home for Christmas. My parents live little over an hour from us and we may see them once or twice a month. I am just hurt

By Vicki on Friday, December 7, 2007 - 08:01 am:

I think I would be more hurt because with your brother outright lying to you about it. I would feel that perhaps they had talked about it and decided to keep it from me. But then again, maybe they were out for shopping for you! I could see myself either letting it go completely, or directly questioning why he lied to me. I could honestly see myself doing both! But I don't think this is enough of a reason to have nothing to do with them!

By Unschoolmom on Friday, December 7, 2007 - 08:27 am:

This really wouldn't bother me at all. My parents live a little over two hours away but often come down to stay at my brother's house when they have an appointment in the city or want to do shopping. Half the time I only hear about it after they've already gone home.

They're just got their own life and sometimes they'll call and sometimes they won't.

Maybe your parents had things to do and simply didn't have time to drop in and so didn't call...Maybe they knew if they did call but let you know they couldn't stop by your feelings would be hurt.

I don't think I'd get too bent out of shape by their excuses. Maybe there's stuff going on I don't know about but I sort of think you overstepped by pressing them on why they didn't stop by. I think they deserved the consideration that if they could have stopped by they would have.

By Marie on Friday, December 7, 2007 - 12:54 pm:

I just don't like the fact that I was lied to and that bothers me the most I don't lie to them or my brother and I expect the same from them and It also bothers me that they just cant call or say hi. as for them running around it was only for my brother he can give them a sad story about being home nothing to do and cry on there shoulder and they will drop everything and come running no matter what for him. I am mad and offended and hurt.

By Cocoabutter on Friday, December 7, 2007 - 01:01 pm:

Maybe the real problem is that you see that your brother gets more attention from them than you do? Are you more independent and self-sufficient? Do your parents do a lot for him? Do your parents help him a lot, like bail him out of tight spots?

If these answers are yes, then I can totally understand why you feel the way you do. Your parents did a good enough job raising you to be strong and independent, and you don't need their help. Your brother, on the other hand, they may feel for whatever reason that they didn't do so well with, and they may feel guilt about that, so they are trying to compensate by helping him more.

If I am on the right track, I hope that you will be able to accept it as the way it is. It's sad, because by helping him all the time he will never be able to be as strong an independent as you are. But you have no power to change the situation.

Best of luck. (((((((((HUGS))))))))

By Debbie on Friday, December 7, 2007 - 04:27 pm:

Well, it sounds like you should be mad at your brother, not your parents. He is the one who lied to you. Your Mom said that she called you, and you weren't home. Do you think she is lying? If you think that, then it sounds like there is a lot more to this. Would this one incident bother me, no. I would probably be a little p.o.'d that my brother lied to me, but I wouldn't be upset that my parents spent the day with my brother and didn't tell me first. From the other side, I know dh's parents don't tell his brothers and sisters when they come to visit us. For whatever reason, they get upset if their parents come see us, but not them. I don't know why because they see them a lot more then us. His parents don't say anything until after the fact because they just don't want to deal with it.

By Mlee on Friday, December 7, 2007 - 11:48 pm:

Marie, Now that I'm in my 50's, there's times I can't do as many things in a day as I used to. I used to make sure I visited everybody when I went to Eugene (2 hours from here), but now sometimes I just go and do what I need to and just don't let folks know I'm there.

Your mother didn't lie. Maybe you should ask your parents to come visit just you for once! Moms need their own moms (and dads) sometimes, too.

By Bea on Saturday, December 8, 2007 - 11:52 am:

Sometimes carrying around anger and resentment is just too heavy a load. I would choose to think that people were simply caught up in the seasonal hysteria and messed up. Forgive their slights, and enjoy the season. Life can be too short for anger. Let it go, and simply love your family.