Anybody who knows me knows I am so NOT a confrontational type person. I just came back from picking up my daughter. We are not in the bus zone. Faiths shoes were wet so we drove to get my 8 yr old. We live 9 houses from the school, so we are close. There are normally about 7 kids who walk home without parent supervision(it is allowed if parents ok it)they range from 3rd grade to 5 graders).These same kids(all boys,except one girl who is the sister of one of the boys).
They are typical boys, they run on the lawns, run back to the street, horse play, run in the middle of the street, go back to the side, go back towards the center. Granted it is a residental neighborhood,but cars are still coming and going. Several times, cars have to slow down because they are in the middle of the street, or drifting towards the middle, or running from peoples lawns etc...

So today I am driving home. I see this van pulled over to the side(dont think anything of it)see a 5 yr old boy on the other side starting to dart over to the van. Granted speed limit is 25, and I was probably going 15.My guess the mother was motioning him to come across the street to the van. I never stopped completely but I was going slow enough and was far enough back. I beeped at him, and yelled "Dont run out in front of cars you brat". Yes I was mad...I have never seen such a young boy without parent supervision on the streets after school and I didnt realize the mother was in the van telling him to come over.

Apparently she heard me beep adn say that to her son. I was 3 houses from house when this happend. I pulled into my driveway, and she backedup so she can pull up by my house. Told me I should of not called her son a brat and that she told him to come to the car. I was furious. I said I am tired of the kids running wild after school and it happens all the time. She said "WELL HE WAS COMING TO ME, and THAT IT WASN'T CALLED FOR". I APoligized for calling him a brat. And, it a not so nice tone told her what the big boys do after school all while walking home. She said "Well one of those boys is mine". I said, "Yes I know". I said the Crossing guard has said things to them as well, and if you dont believe me, talk to her about it as well. By this time, the crossing guard had left..As they were walking back to their car, the older boy said to the mom
"YEs, she yells at us all the time"
I do,as when I drive down the street, I do beep at them and tell them to get out of the middle of the road as that is where the cars drive. The crossing guard as well as myself as noticed this behavior on several occasions. I was fuming mad. I am not one for a face to face like that...but I stood my ground. I was wrong for calling that kid a brat..

By Vicki on Tuesday, November 20, 2007 - 03:10 pm:

Yes, you were wrong for calling that child a brat. In my opinion, if you have issues with the kids walking home from school, you should notify the school, or the parents, of the behavior. I just don't feel that anyone should call a child a "brat" especially one that isn't yours!

By Vicki on Tuesday, November 20, 2007 - 03:12 pm:

oops, I read your last sentence wrong. I thought it said was I wrong for calling that kid a brat....

By Colette on Tuesday, November 20, 2007 - 03:19 pm:

I think you have two issues - one you should not have called a 5yr old a brat -that was just uncalled for and wrong but you know it. I don't fault the mother for yelling at you- if someone called my child a brat I'd be all over them.
On the other issue of kids walking home, I do know that at my school if the kids who are that age are acting up walking home from school (and they do, and I have beeped too) that you can call the principal and complain. If that doesn't work, call the local pd and ask that a cruiser just be in the area where these kids are walking - I live in a small town though and the police would do that without a problem. Tell them it's a safety issue.

By Jackie on Tuesday, November 20, 2007 - 03:57 pm:

Im the first to admit I should not of called the child a brat. But, what kind of mother motions for a child to run across the street when cars are coming????I dont get that? She did not get out of the car, she motioned from the drivers seat? If worried about safety, get out,and go collect your child from the other side of the street?

By Bobbie~moderatr on Tuesday, November 20, 2007 - 04:08 pm:

Jackie, are you just venting?

I think it is time to contact the school, principal, to have this addressed. The kids shouldn't be walking in the street that is what side walks are for. I am sure that with your address they can figure out what kids are doing it simply by looking at the connecting streets in that area and who has permission to be walking. However, I don't know how much help the school will be, it isn't on school property after all and if this is the case. I would contact the police. Explain to them the situation, see if they can send a patrol through your area after school or if they can make a suggestion of who you need to address about this dangerous situation. Some one will end up hit, hopefully you aren't the one that hits.

Around here over the next few months walking out into the street with out properly checking the street can cost you your life, ice..

If someone yelled at one of your kids calling him/her a brat for doing something that you told him/her to do, how would you feel? What would you have done? Not the best at parenting her children I am guessing, she was after all crossing her small child in front of your vehicle but I doubt she reacted much differently then most would. Hear to many stories of parents beating each other up over less, honestly.

I personally wouldn't have confronted you. I would have just told my kids to ignore you and that you apparently were having a bad day. But that is just me. I am not about starting anymore conflict for my self than need be.

By Jackie on Tuesday, November 20, 2007 - 04:19 pm:

Oh Yes, I was just venting more then anything. I would of been mad as well if somebody said something like that to my child. But number one, I would of never instructed my child to run across the street in front of moving vehicles...no excuse for me to call another child a brat.I know that..I guess I was just frustrated more then anything. I didnt realize that the boy was running to the van, and that the mother had instructed him to do so.
We do not have sidewalks in this town...so stupid I know. A big complaint of a lot of people.
Tomorrow morning I will talk to the crossing guard and let her know that I had a run in with the mother. She has discussed this with me on the boys behavior on several occasions. She had brought it to my attention because she wanted to know if I knew who these boys were.
When I was tell the mother today what went on on a daily basis with those other kids, the older son and the other kids played off all innocent.

If it were me, I would of not confronted the other mother. I would of told my child to just ignore my bad behavior. I am not proud of what I said.It was a build up of the frustation I see on a daily basis, and this was just the last straw.

By Tsa on Tuesday, November 20, 2007 - 05:06 pm:

There's no sidewalk?!? Well, then where do you think is an appropriate place for the kids to walk? I understand that they are being boys, but are they doing any damage to anybody or anything? If it were me I'd have confronted you. I hope if someone called your kid a brat you would stand up for your child too. I remember screwing around on the way home from school, it was fun. You know they are going to be there adjust your time to allow a little extra to slow down.
We live in a small town. At 3:00 the kids rule the town and the streets. They are burning off steam after being cooped up in school all day. Let the kids be kids.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Tuesday, November 20, 2007 - 05:10 pm:

I was sure it was, so vent away and remember opinions are opinions and that is what you are going to get here..

That said, I would be telling someone that is in charge and I wouldn't have let it build up in me to the level it apparently has...

By Jackie on Tuesday, November 20, 2007 - 05:33 pm:

No there is no sidewalks, but there is appropriate space for kids to walk on the side of the street, not down the middle of the street. Most kids walk on the edge with the curb is. When I walk my 8 yr old home from school. I take my 3 yr old by hand and and we walk against the curb and so does my 8 yr old, we no way walk in the middle of the street and stop traffic or have people honking at us to get out of the middle out of the street.Kids and cars can be a dangerous situation.

By Dawnk777 on Tuesday, November 20, 2007 - 06:48 pm:

Sidewalks or no, they still shouldn't be in the middle of the street. I would have probably parked my car and gone and gotten the 5yo. That said, I didn't let my 5yo walk to school, when we lived close to a school. We lived 6 blocks away and one street was busy. I didn't feel comfortable letting Sarah walk alone to school, in kindergarten or first grade. I either drove her to school and dropped her off, or we walked together.

That was crazy that the mom was motioning to her 5yo to cross a busy street, with cars coming, on his own.

By Claire on Tuesday, November 20, 2007 - 07:03 pm:

Well said (as usual) Bobbie.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Tuesday, November 20, 2007 - 08:27 pm:

Thank you Claire

By Debbie on Tuesday, November 20, 2007 - 10:22 pm:

Well, calling him a brat was wrong, but you already know that. I would just talk to the crossing guard about it. I think the biggest problem is that you don't have side walks, that is crazy. Should they be walking home alone if they can't stay out of the middle of the street, probably not? But, they are, so I would just drive slow when school lets out, and try not to let it bother you.

By Crystal915 on Tuesday, November 20, 2007 - 11:08 pm:

I really can't blame the other mom. How far away were you? If she was motioning for him to cross, and you were a good distance, I don't see the problem. Of course, I don't let my 5 year olds walk from school, and I would have crossed the street with them, but I think you were out of line. Every parent makes mistakes, and you are human, and allowed to make your mistakes too. At 3rd-5th grades, I don't see too much of a problem with the kids walking home by themselves, if it's a short distance. Yes, they should not be in the street, and if there is no sidewalk, they should be extra careful. However, you mention them running in the lawns, I assume that's the safer alternative to the street, correct? And boys will be boys, it's not unusual for them to horseplay and run around.

By Ginny~moderator on Wednesday, November 21, 2007 - 04:11 pm:

"Boys will be boys" is one of my least favorite sayings. What is says is that we should expect/allow boys to be rude, run on other people's lawns, walk in the middle of the street, or do other rude things and ignore other people's rights and property, because they're boys. Nonsense. It promotes very low expectations for boys and gives them the perfect excuse to refuse to behave in a civilized manner. It also often gives their fathers (and sometimes mothers) a "reason" to refuse to discipline them or demand good behavior from them. Would we allow girls to misbehave because "girls will be girls"?

By Jackie on Wednesday, November 21, 2007 - 05:55 pm:

Ginny, I dont agree with that either. It is allowing boys, to have bad behavior with no consequences.Even the fact they have been cooped up in school for 6 1/2 hrs is no excuse for bad behavior after school. I think there should be some sense of responsibility on the childs part and the parents part. If you are giving your child that much responsibility to walk home alone with no parent/adult supervision, you better make darn sure you child can handle the situation and no the proper way to act. Now granted, children are children. I dont expect all the children walking home to be perfect angels, but I dont expect them to be running in the middle of the street, pushing into each other, just plain hoarseplaying around either.Cars and kids are serious business. Yes as adults, we need to slow down and take our time when kids are walking home, and yes we know there are no sidewalks here, but there is plenty of room to walk on the street up against the curb without getting into traffic. I am living proof it is able to get down. If in fact there are cars parked on the street and other cars are driving by then I stop, wait for the cars to pass, and continue walking. I think if your kids can not do that, then they should not be allowed unsupervised to walk home from school alone.I dont believe because we have no sidewalks that gives them permission to run on peoples lawns, chasing each other, and in the middle of the street.

By Crystal915 on Wednesday, November 21, 2007 - 08:28 pm:

I never thought about it that way, and I see your point about the saying. Honestly, my son is better behaved than my daughter!! LOL I certainly don't think boys *OR* girls should go without discipline. However, kids will behave as children, and a certain allowance should be made for some goofing off.

By Marcia on Wednesday, November 21, 2007 - 10:26 pm:

I think that an allowance can be made for going onto a lawn when there is no sidewalk, but there is no reason, EVER, to be chasing each other into the middle of the road. You can certainly be sure that if Jackie had hit that child, she would have been the one who was blamed. Drivers shouldn't be set up for that.

My husband hit a kid several years ago. He had just crossed at a stop sign, so was going very slowly. Someone dropped a kid off in front of the school, and the kid bolted across in front of him, without looking. This was a kid in high school. The person in the van freaked at my hubby, but every person who witnessed it defended him. The kid was fine, and hubby was not charged. It can happen that quickly.

By Ginny~moderator on Thursday, November 22, 2007 - 05:58 am:

Your dh might not have been charged, Marcia, but I'll bet he had nightmares for a long time. My mom went shopping one night and came home about an hour later a real emotional mess. Turns out a teenage girl, wearing dark clothes, darted across an unlight portion of a main road in front of her and Mom hit her. Fortunately, mom was in a line of traffic and going only about 20 mph. The girl wound up with a broken arm. We had to have the car hood replaced. Also turns out the girl had told her parents she was going over to a friend's house to study, and the two girls and a couple of boys were on their way to the mall.

I think mom was having nightmares about it, off and on, for a couple of years.

By Marcia on Thursday, November 22, 2007 - 12:17 pm:

It's true. I've never seen him so shaken before. I had to go pick him up, because he couldn't even drive he was so upset.

By Jackie on Wednesday, November 28, 2007 - 02:55 pm:

As of today, this mother has still not spoken to the crossing guard about the behavior of her children. I talked to the crossing guard the very next day.,I let the crossing guard know what happened and that this mother is suppose to come and talk to her. The crossing guard said she highly doubts the talk would take place because she had words with this mother previously. I had no idea. Apparently this mother was sending her kids to school at 7:20(School starts at 8am, the school does not want kids coming before 7:40)and yelled at the crossing guard "Why werent you here crossing my kids?"...the crossing guard explained that she is not scheduled to be there until 7:30.

Yesterday I was walking home with my 8 yr old and 3 yr old. The walkers(without supervision)crossed about 10 seconds after me. Not more then two seconds they were across the street, 2 of the boys were throwing a football in the middle of the street I live on. So I yell over to the crossing guard "Look see, they do not walk in the middle of the street, do they?"...obviously it was to prove a point, the crossing guard has talked to these kids about their behavior as well as the school, and still nothing was done.After I made the comment about the football and the boys being in the street, they decided to walk down the next street.I guess me being on foot, scared them more then me being in my car.

Today I was in the car, all of them were walking to the side of the road. I figured, "it finally sunk in", except one boy.The one boy was walking directly in the middle of the street. I stopped the car, beeped my horn, and waited for him to get with the "pack"...he did..As I was getting my kids out of the car, they walked by and were saying things to me because I was starring at them through my window to make sure they didnt touch any of our property. Sorry.. I trust nobody, not even smart mouth kids like that.

Tomorrow I will go into the school and talk to the people about what goes on. I have a feeling though that nothing will be done because once the crossing guard crosses them they are then officially off school property.

By Claire on Wednesday, November 28, 2007 - 04:43 pm:

Jackie at this point all you can do is leave it between this mother, the crossing guard and the school.

You said what you needed to say, be careful driving and at this point you should take a deep breath & let it go.