I dont know why but I'm just ticked off beyond belief that my ex isn't jumping at the chance to have Brendan for a period of longer than his usual weekend visits. Our school district gets out on Friday and they have the entire next week off for Thanksgiving, I've told him that he can have Brendan from Wednesday-Sunday and he's acting like he doesn't want to do it unless they go to his mom's out of town. I work nights and I have to work Wednesday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights that week and it's really going to put alot on my mom to have him that period of time. It's his normal weekend to have him so it's not even like I'm asking for much more. You'd THINK he'd jump at the chance to get to spend a little more time with his son. AND it's not like he's not off work because he is so that's not even an issue.

I just don't understand how we as mom's jump through hoops to spend time with our kids. I work nights for the SOLE purpose of getting to volunteer at his school, do his activities during the day with him, basically for HIM and being able to be with him as much as humanly possible as a single mom.I think he is the coolest kid ever and he's my FAVORITE person to be around ever.

He doesn't take him for any length of time during the summer or at Christmas break either when he could have extra time, I just don't get it.

Thanks for listening/reading, I have to come here because if I vent to my family I get the "I told you so...etc".

By Mrsheidi on Tuesday, November 13, 2007 - 11:11 pm:

And 6 is such a fun age too!!! Geesh. I don't get it either. Sometimes guys can be so selfish. Can he take him at night for you that week?
I wonder if you said, "You *can't* have him" if he would want him then? Men always want what they can't have...what's really sad is that I bet they would have a GREAT time together!

Argh. I'm mad for you and can feel your pain.
{{Christy}}

Not to be nosey, but why wouldn't he go to his mom's for Thanksgiving?

By Wandilu on Tuesday, November 13, 2007 - 11:41 pm:

BTDT...I'm sorry you are going thru this. My x was like that, too. He actually moved to another state, and he tried to "sneek" off without even telling the kids! They popped in on him unexpectedly, and caught him as he was loading his truck! It broke their heart! They were still very young, and were visiting their grandmother, his mom, that lived right across the street from him. She ALSO knew, and wasn't going to tell them. He became, and still is, the "long distance" grandparent. He see's our DK'S and DGK's MAYBE once a year to year and a half .My heart goes out to you and Brendan

By Crystal915 on Wednesday, November 14, 2007 - 04:34 am:

((((Christy)))) I totally understand how you feel. Our children are at such an amazing age, it's so much fun to be with them, but some parents just don't seem to care. I'm sorry your ex is being such a butt head about taking his visitation, and I know how difficult it is to juggle work, kids, and life as a single mom. Just think about all of the awesome moments you get to share with Brendan, and it's his dad's loss for not wanting to experience them, too. My ex is taking them for this Christmas, the first time since they were 18 months old, but his interest is sporadic at best. If it weren't for his sisters taking them this past summer, I probably wouldn't have made it through, because I needed a break and to not have to worry about daycare for a couple months. I hope your ex wises up to how important it is for everyone involved.

By Karen~admin on Wednesday, November 14, 2007 - 09:30 am:

Christy, unfortunately this is common. My X was the exact same way. He doesn't realize he is missing out on so much, and cheating his son out of quality time that can never be replaced. Try talking to him and making him SEE that. These times cannot ever be made up. I'm so sorry.

By Dawnk777 on Wednesday, November 14, 2007 - 02:46 pm:

What a butt. I would think he would want to spend more time with his kid, too! I sure would!

By Tarable on Wednesday, November 14, 2007 - 02:55 pm:

I feel the exact same way. My ex is supposed to take my kids for Thanksgiving and I told him he could take them anytime from after school friday until sunday. Well guess what he chose to do... He is picking them up wed afternoon and dropping them back off Friday afternoon. Aggrivates me so much because it makes it so I can't go anywhere without them and I can't take them either because he took the middle 2 days..

I hope you can talk some sense into him, but if he is anything like my ex don't say it is to help you or your mom. Say it is for your son. Mine wouldn't do anything to help me if it would save my life.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Wednesday, November 14, 2007 - 04:15 pm:

My dad was the same way and 19 years after the divorce he is still that way. So big hugs and good luck, I can feel for your son.

By Mia on Wednesday, November 14, 2007 - 05:05 pm:

Sadly I've BTDT, too. And I really don't get it. It's been 8 years since I've heard a peep from my ex - he doesn't call, write, or visit our child. If I were in his place, well, I couldn't bear to never see my child. I'd crawl 1000 miles through fire ants in the desert just to glimpse his beautiful face. Some people should never have been parents, and sadly it's the kids who have to grow up with that.

By Kateg on Wednesday, November 14, 2007 - 05:40 pm:

I'm sorry you're going through this.

I've BTDT, too. My DD was 2 1/2 when I split from my x...he saw her a handful of times before she was 5(less than 5). I, too, would do whatever I had to do to make sure I saw my little girl. I don't understand it. It has been five years this Thanksgiving weekend that he last saw her. Since we last saw him we found at that he is in a nursing home with a debilitating disease and is a shell of the person he used to be from what I've heard. He never called to say good-bye to his daughter. He never called to say, hey, I've got this disease & I won't be able to come see her again...Can I see her? Never...nada...nope. Is she better off? She is fortunate and has a stepdad that loves her as his own, but still...you wonder about that man you married...why do they make the decisions they make? Mine never even told me what disease he has so that I can watch for it in my daughter...I had to find out through my lawyer which was through his lawyer which was through a sheriff's deputy through another person. I'm hopeless with worry...Why don't they think of their children?????

By Christylee on Wednesday, November 14, 2007 - 06:16 pm:

Thanks ladies, I see now that I have it much better than many because he does see him way more often then alot of the ones that posted here. I just don't get the not taking advantage of the extra time I guess.

Heidi -- you asked about his mom. well she lives in Corpus and we're in Houston. They never make concrete plans until the last second (drives me INSANE, always did and I still have to deal with it, grrrrrr). Anyways, his girlfriend isn't off the day before or the day after Thanksgiving so they might not go.

By Mrsheidi on Saturday, November 17, 2007 - 06:04 pm:

Ah, I see. Because he can't watch him with his girlfriend around? Makes perfect sense...(drowning in sarcasm)...